


Empathy

by rubyhair



Category: Star Trek: Alternate Original Series (Movies)
Genre: AO3 1 Million, Alternate Universe - Science Fiction, Angst, M/M, Romance
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2013-01-17
Updated: 2014-10-02
Packaged: 2017-11-25 21:16:51
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 13
Words: 46,745
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/643030
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/rubyhair/pseuds/rubyhair
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Jim Kirk is only 1/2 human: Winona is Veenana, a race of Empaths that could have other mental powers as well. Jim's not only an Empath he's a Telekinetic. Because of things that have happened there are people in Starfleet that either don't want him or would like to use him. Others are planning a take over from within. Jim and Spock stand in the way of those plans.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. You've Gotta be Kidding Me!

**Author's Note:**

> These first few chapters are not as good as the later ones. The grammer is poor and the story could be told better. However, as I am 93K words into the story I am not ready to rewrite the beginning.

Disclaimer - I don't own Star Trek, not making a red cent here

Special THANKS to my Beta Trekkergurl for everything!

 

Chapter 1 - You've Gotta Be Kidding

 

Jim was tired after a hard day finishing his neighbors car at Goremans garage where he worked. He decided to head to his favorite bar in Riverside Iowa. Most nights it was a quiet place. There were a dozen or so workers from the Riverside ship yards, hanging out after their shifts. All in all it was a normal evening. He looked out the window where he could see the magnificent ship being built in the distance and let his mind wander and he slipped into a light trance. 

 

Jim didn't notice the fact that a load people had invaded his haven until the found himself battered by the emotions of the excited cadets. Ruth, the beautiful waitress, knew Jim well and brought him another pint of ale. They had dated for several months when he returned from Veenu, but he had not been able to form a bond with her. He sighed, smiled and thanked her for the brew. Jim licked his lips and strengthened his shields. The room slowly grew quiet, until Jim felt that he could relax.

 

He watched the people for a while and being a bit buzzed decided to flirt. Jim knew that he had two things going for him, charm and good looks, so maybe he could have some fun with these cadets. He noticed one particularly lovely cadet at the bar ordering a whole bunch of drinks. She had beautiful mahogany colored skin and dark eyes that sparkled in the light. Her long hair was set in a tail high on her head. He just had to flirt with her.

 

So Jim sauntered over and slipped up next to his friend J'Mul at the bar. "Are you drinking all of those by yourself?" Jim looked over at her.

 

J'Mul had seen him play this game before and was wondering to himself how this was going to work out. So he observed the exchange with interest.

 

The beautiful vision glanced at Jim, raised an eyebrow, huffed then added more to her list. "And a shot of Jack straight up."

 

Jim thought that a perfect time to try to buy her a drink. "Make that 2, her shot's on me."

 

"Her shot's on her, thanks but no thanks." She replied barely looking at him.

 

Jim was undeterred by her rebuff. “Ah, come on, don't you at least want to know my name before you completely reject me.”

 

J'Mul looked between them and shook his head. He'd watched Jim play this game with men, women, human and alien, for over a year and seen him regularly get into fights because of flirting with the wrong person. He wondered to himself how this was going to turn out.

 

"No, I am perfectly fine without your name." The women snipped.

 

"You're right. You are fine without it. I'm Jim. Jim Kirk." He paused, waiting. "If you don't tell me your name I'm going to have to make one up."

 

"It's Uhura."

 

"Uhura, no way. That's the name I was going to make up for you."

 

J'Mul looked at Jim in disbelief at such a stupid line, rolling his eyes and shaking his head. It was the exact same line he used with Ruth.

 

Jim downed his shot of Jack and asked. "Uhura what?" 

 

"Just Uhura." The beauty replied with disgust. 

 

"They don't have last names on your world?"

 

"Uhura is my last name." She gave Jim one of those looks that said 'if looks could kill you would be dead right now'.

 

Even with his shields up, Jim still felt her emotions; a mixture of disgust and amusement. With the buzz he had going and the amusement of J'Mul, Joe the bartender and Ruth when she heard what he was doing, he kept pushing. "So they don't have first names on your world?" 

 

Uhura just shook her head and thought 'will this guy give me a break!'

 

Jim decided that it was time to step it up a notch so he took the conversation directly to her. "Excuse me J'Mul." He patted J'Mul on the shoulder as he moved around him to her.

 

He gave her a nice smile. "So you're a cadet, you're studying. What's your focus?"

 

"Xenolinguistics. You have no idea what that means." Uhura replied sharply, giving him a pointed look. Thinking she tripped him up.

 

"The study of alien languages. Morphology, phonology, syntax. It means you have a talented tongue." He said thinking, 'I bet I even know a language or two you don't honey.'

 

She turned to look at him more closely and smiled evilly. "I'm impressed." Uhura looked him in the eyes for the first time. "For a moment there, I thought you were just a dumb hick who only had sex with farm animals."

 

'Alright, two can play at this game.' He thought. "Well, not only." He made sure his reply had swagger.

 

A big, hulking cadet came up to her trying to be protective. "This townie isn't bothering your, right." He tried his best to look intimidating. Little did he know that Jim Kirk wasn't easy to intimidate or that under most circumstances Jim could easily kick his ass.

 

"Beyond belief. But it's nothing I can't handle." Uhura replied turning back to the bar.

 

"You might be able to handle me. But I'm not so sure." Jim said in a sultry voice as he waggled his eyebrows and winked at her; in general being as suggestive as possible.

 

Obviously the big cadet thought it was part of his job to protect Uhura's honor, so he stuck his nose in further. "Hey, you better mind your manners."

 

Jim reached up and patted him on the shoulder. "Relax Cupcake, it was a joke."

 

At that point Cupcake got pissed and grabbed Jim by the shoulder and turned him around. "Hey farm boy, maybe you can't count, but there are four of us and only one of you."

 

Jim could feel the emotions of Cupcake and his friends. It had him beginning to itch for the fight that he could feel that they wanted. 

 

With full knowledge that his next action would incite a fight and adrenalin coursing through his system Jim looked Cupcake in the eye. "So, get some more guys and then it'll be an even fight." Then to seal the deal he reached up and patted Cupcake on the cheek turning back to Uhura.

 

'Here it comes.' Jim thought as Cupcake spun him around and clocked him in the jaw. Years ago Jim decided that whenever he got into a fight like this he was going to surround himself with the entire experience; so he totally dropped his shields. He reveled in the irate anger of Cupcake, and the fact that Uhura was upset that they are fighting about her. If he couldn't have sex, pain was the next best reminder for Jim that he was alive.

 

When Cupcake came around for a second hit Jim palmed him in the chest and sent him flying. One of the others attempted to hit him with a bottle but Jim got it first and hit him with it instead. 

 

Not wanting to hurt anyone he decided he wouldn't use anymore martial arts. However, being as drunk as he was that was a mistake. He felt himself grabbed by one while the others hit him, 'cheap fuckers'. He managed to twist out of that hold but found himself on his back on a table getting hit repeatedly in the face. In the background he heard Uhura yelling that he had had enough. Inwardly he laughed because at the moment testosterone is ruling and she was ignored.

 

Jim heard a loud whistle and an eerily familiar commanding voice "Outside. All of you. Now."

 

Fists stopped immediately and he heard the cadets reply stiffly, "Yes Sir!" Emotions immediately quieted as the room emptied.

 

Jim, his head still hanging off the end of the table looked up at the upside down face of Christopher Pike. "You whistle really loud, you know that?"

 

Pike helped Jim into a chair. "Well, well, well, Jim Kirk, it's been a long time. You've grown up since I saw you last."

 

"When was that Captain Pike?"

 

"I think you remember perfectly well Jim since you remembered my name without prompting."

 

"Yeah, I do." Jim looked down at the table. "Not a time in my life of which I am particularly proud. Nor do I particularly want to remember it."

 

Pike, tactfully changed the subject. "You held your own pretty well with four big guys." 

 

"Ha! If I was sober I would've wiped the floor with them Chris. Since...” He took a drink. “What happened, I've studied various martial arts and have integrated them into a fighting style all my own. But, here I didn't want to hurt anyone, so I kept my feet on the ground and my hands in fists.” Jim smiled, dabbing at the blood still leaking from his nose. “Well, except, I just couldn't resist a good palm hit to the chest on Cupcake that threw him across several tables." Jim laughed the little he can without causing his nose to start bleeding more heavily.

 

"Who?"

 

Jim stuck a piece of napkin in each nostril before pinching the top of his nose. "Massive guy, brown hair, what's left of it, I don't think he's 100% human."

 

"As, yes, Sam Giotto he's rather protective of his fellow cadets. If I recall he has some Belten blood and Belte has twice the gravity of Earth. He's going into security."

 

"How Apropos. He'll make a good security officer. Of course, he'll be even better when he can learn how to discern a joke from something serious." Jim pulled the tissues from his nose and was happy to find it was no longer bleeding.

 

"Look, Kirk, I know who you are." Pike stated flatly.

 

That caught Jim's interest, 'this should be interesting' he thought. "You do? I really want to hear this. Who am I Captain Pike?"

 

"You are just as much your fathers son as you are your mothers. For my dissertation I was assigned the USS Kelvin. Something I admired about your dad, he didn't believe in no win scenarios." Pike explained.

 

"Seemed like he learned his lesson!" Jim snorted.

 

"You're here, aren't you? You know that instinct to leap without looking, that was in his nature too. And, in my opinion, it's something Starfleet has lost.” Pike hoped that Jim would pick up where he was going with the conversation.

 

"Yeah, so what do you want with me? Why are you even talking to me, man? You know what I can do if I ever unleash, don't you think I'm a bit too dangerous for your precious Starfleet." Jim asked. His irises were glowing a pale blue, leaning over the table searching Pikes eyes. Jim was genuinely excited. He couldn't be sure if Pike knew how to read Veenan eyes; he really didn't want to give anything away, but he couldn't help the reaction of his body.

 

"Look Jim, all the counselors both Human and Veenan have given you the OK. Your aptitude tests are off the charts. So what is it? You like working in a garage, getting in bar fights and being the only genius level repeat offender in the Midwest?" Pike was very familiar with Veenan eyes, having been good friends with his parents. He could also read body language. So he was well aware that Jim was intrigued by what he was saying. 

 

"Jim can you really settle for a less than ordinary life? I mean, really, working in a garage with masters degrees in engineering and xenolinguistics? Don't you feel like you were meant for something better? Something special? Enlist in Starfleet." 

 

Jim snorted a laugh. He'd been waiting for this line. He really need to see how serious Pike was about having him. "Enlist? Look Pike, be serious now, you've seen what I can do, you know my history, do you really think they would let me in?"

 

"Jim, if you're half the man your father was, Starfleet could use you. You can be an officer in four years. You can have your own ship in eight." Jim really didn't need to hear anymore, he was pretty convinced. But Pike wasn't finished. "You understand what the Federation is, don't you. It's important. It's a peacekeeping and humanitarian armada…"

 

Jim interrupted Pikes speech and tried to give him the eye of doom. He really needed to go home and contact his mother and he didn't want Pike to realize his level of interest. "Are we done?"

 

"I'm done. Riverside shipyard Shuttle for new recruits leaves tomorrow 0800." Pike stood and looked down at Kirk. "Now your father was captain of a starship for 12 minutes. He saved 800 lives, including your mothers and yours. I dare you to do better." With that he turned left Jim with a lot to think about. There was a salt shaker on the table shaped like the Kelvin which Jim picked up and examined while he thought about all the years he had felt the call of the black.

 

However, Jim still felt conflicted. Starfleet, in many ways had always been a source of pain in his life, and yet it was one of the best ways for him to get out into the black and see the stars. He really, really needed to talk to his mother. 

 

As soon as he got in the door he put in a comm to her. Winona choose to remain in Starfleet after George died. She would stay home for a few months now and then but as soon as she had orders it was back into space. Throughout everything Winona and Jim maintained a very close relationship. Sure she had lapses in judgment: the time she left him & Sam alone with him alone with that neighbor Frank until her sister could come (by the time her sister arrived Sam was gone and both of her children had been raped); sending Jim to live with her sister on a colony that turned into a flat out clusterfuck. Neither of those things would have happened if she had been home for him and Sam. By the time they finally caught up with Sam he was married and studying science in his own right.

 

The comm unit finally beeped. He hit the button and his mothers face appeared, "Hey mom, I hope I didn't take you from anything important."

 

"No Jimmy. You know, nothing is more important to me than you are. It's good to hear from you. Something's up. It's written all over your face, along with the fact that you've been fighting again." Winona frowned. 

 

"Yeah well, I didn't start it, but I sure enjoyed it." He laughed. "Some big cadet thought I was just some average homey. Ha, knocked his ass across several tables!

 

“While I was there I ran into Chris Pike. He challenged me to join Starfleet, even with the, well you know. I wanted to get your take on the whole thing. You know Chris." The entire time he was talking he continued cleaning up his face.

 

"Jimmy, I can tell you feel strongly about this, but I can't tell which way you feel. Colors aren't coming through on this monitor so I can't tell the color of your eyes. So, tell me, what is it that you truly desire? You used to want to go to space and see the stars. Is that what you still want?" Winona really wished that she was there for him at that moment. Her baby was making a life altering decision and she could only talk to him over a comm unit. She could see his irises were glowing but she couldn't tell if they were blue or green.

 

One of the reasons that she had brought her son back to Earth after they had finished on Veenu was so that he could be exposed to Starfleet. She knew that Jimmy had too big of a mind to be tied to a single planet. He needed the stars. 

 

So Winona watched as Jim looked around the house, then back to her. She could tell he made his decision. There was a determination in his eyes she hadn't seen in way too long. "I want to go into the black mom. More than anything. You're right, it's something I've always wanted. The stars are like a sirens song to me, always have been. I guess that's why I've always been so restless." He broke into one of his Jim Kirk smiles that could light up the sun. "Well Mom, I guess the next time I talk to you it'll be from San Francisco. Thanks Mom."

 

"Jimmy, I'm only too happy to help, you know that. I love you."

 

"I love you too Mom. I'll call you as soon as I get settled in at the Academy." He kissed his hand and blew it to her. She did the same and they cut the transmission.

 

Jim checked the time. Just enough time left to take a shower and meditate for an hour before he had to head out to the shipyard to catch the shuttle.


	2. Arrival

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Arrival at the academy, the story moves slowly for a couple of more chapters before it picks up its pace.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I tried to fix the bad tenses that were throughout the chapter. I hope I got them all, but I could have caused typos, oops.

Chapter 2 – Arrival

 

It was dawn on the Iowa plains and while Jim was heading toward the shipyards he stoped to daydream looking at the big, beauty they were building there. From what he heard it was going to be the new Enterprise. His Veenan roots made Jim very familiar with the escapades of the original Enterprise. He had never admitted to his mother how many of his daydreams were centered around sitting in the big chair on a ship of tha name.

 

Pike was not surprised that several hours after talking to him, Jim pulled up to the shuttle on a custom motorcycle. He caught a tech saying, "nice ride man," and turned to see Jim get off the bike and throw the guy the keys saying "it's all yours". Jim then turned to Pike, putting on his cockiest self and brashly stated in no uncertain terms "four years, I'll do it in three" then turned and walked onto the shuttle. 

 

All Pike could do was shake his head at the kids attitude. He liked it. If this kid could do what he thought then maybe that attitude was deserved; althouh it could also serve get people killed.

 

Jim walked into the shuttle smiling, like he was king of the world and walked right into the first cross beam he came to. He decided that if he passed it off as if nothing happened no one would pay any attention. So he walked in further and saw his 'buddies' from the previous night in the bar and couldn't resist a cocky, "at ease gentlemen," as he went past. They tried very hard to use their eyes to reduce him to ashes, however it was to no avail.

 

Finally he found an empty seat and began to belt in when felt someone looking at him and looked up into Uhura's eyes. The corner of his mouth twisted a littles as h said, "never did get that first name". 

 

Uhura rolled her eyes and shook her head, thinking 'how did this farm boy just got on the shuttle with me!' 

 

Suddenly everyones attention was drawn to an argument between an older male cadet and a small female officer. Apparently, he was afraid of flying and not wanting to be near the windows, he ensconsed himself in the bathroom. But this women was one tough cookie and she backed him to a seat and she got him to sit his ass down; right next to Jim

 

The man looked at Jim half crazed and grouched, "I may throw up on you".

 

Jim looked at him warily, "I think these things are pretty safe".

 

"Don't pander to me kid. One tiny crack in the hull and our blood boils in 13 seconds. A solar flare might crop up and cook us in our seats. And wait till your sittin pretty with a case of Andorian shingles. See if your still so relaxed when your eyeballs are bleeding. Space is disease and danger wrapped in darkness and silence."

 

"Well, I hate to break it to you, but Starfleet operates in space," Jim retorted, still watching warily not knowing what the guy was going to do next.

 

"Yeah, well, I got nowhere else to go. The ex-wife to the whole damn planet in the divorce. All I got left is my bones." The man pulled out a flask, took a sip and passed it to Jim.

 

Jim took a sip and passed it back, "Jim Kirk".

 

"McCoy. Leonard McCoy."

 

"So, Bones, you're a doctor? Gonna be a ships surgeon?" Jim asks.

 

"Bones, where the hell did that come from?" McCoy replied giving Jim a dark look.

 

Jim flashed the Jim Kirk smile, "well you did say that all you had left was your bones, right?"

 

McCoy rubbed his face with his hands, then ran them through his hair and finally looked back at Jim. "Yeah, I said that. Guess that's how people get their nicknames." He took another sip from the flask passing back to Jim, which Jim passed right back without drinking anything. "To answer your question, yeah, I'm gonna be a ships surgeon. What about you?"

 

"Command" Jim replied eliciting a snort from Uhura. He looked at her with a raised eyebrow, "and is your problem"?

 

"You better learn to control yourself better if you're going to be a captain someday Jim Kirk." Uhura replied shaking her head. 

 

He looked at her in confusion, "uh, wait a minute, I was only talking to you when your overprotective buddy over there, Cupcake, decided to start a fight. When someone starts punching me, I punch back. The four of them were actually very lucky I was drunk or I would've wiped the floor with them."

 

"Yeah, right. I'll believe that when I see it. Anyway, I just don't think you're cut out for command. I still think you're just a dumb hick."

 

"jIHtaH ra HoD ra qang lob." (I am your captain you will obey) Jim said to Uhura.

 

"Well, so, you know some Klingon. And you enunciate it well. That's not easy. I'll give you one point." Uhura quiped.

 

Jim chuckled, "oh, so it's a points system now? How many points do I need to get that first name?"

 

Uhura shook her head with a smile, "more than you'll earn in a lifetime farm boy."

 

"Ves cran z dony fan" (I am not a farm boy) Jim replied in Veenan.

 

Uhura looked at him, "what language was that?" She had to wonder if it that was even a real language. However the syntax sounded very real, but she just did not trust him. 

 

"Ha, a language the xenolinguistics student doesn't know, yet. Maybe if she's lucky she'll learn it at the academy. It's Veenan, I said I'm not a farm boy."

 

Uhura was incredulous. Veenan was a rare language because very few of them left their homeworld, "how did a farm boy from Iowa learn a rare language like Veenan?"

 

"My mother is Veenu" Jim replied, "so I guess that makes me half." He smiled.

 

"Well I suppose that makes sense then" she nodded smiling thinking maybe he's really telling the truth.

 

McCoy turned to Jim, "Veenans are empaths, right?"

 

"Yeah, I'm an empath. I can sense emotions if I let my shields down. I have very strong shields. In a crowd like this I keep 'em buttoned up tight. I am not able to project my emotions onto others like some can."

 

Uhura who had been thinking piped in, "wait, so you really weren't trying to take me home last night were you? Veenans don't do casual sex."

 

"Bingo. You're right my dear. You may not know the language but at least you know something about us. There needs to be an empathic connection between the two parties or else we just don't work. We meaning Veenans. That would also apply to having sex with farm animals" Jim laughed.

 

McCoy looked at him out of the corner of his eye, "farm animals?"

 

"Ask her," Jim said as he pointed at Uhura who repied with, "you had to be there." Then the looked at each other and cracked up laughing.

 

McCoy looked at the two of them and shook his head. He took another sip from his flask, or at least he tried to. He realized it was empty, but he looked inside just to be sure. He smacked Jim on the shoulder, "hey, you drank too much".

 

"Don't blame me dude. There wasn't much in it the first time you passed it to me. I barely took a sip. The second time you passed it to me I passed it right back without even taking a drink. You're the lush here Doc." Jim blinked a couple of times trying to get McCoy to look into his eyes to see he is being honest.

 

"Did you just bat your eyelashes at me kid?" McCoy asked taken aback.

 

Jim snorted a laugh, "no just trying to get you to look into my eyes and see that I'm being earnest."

 

"Not some kind of Veenan hokus pokus?" McCoy asked angrily.

 

"Did he really say that? Did I hear him say that? Bones I can't believe you just said that. That was so xenophobic man. Wow. No, I already told you I can't project. But even if I could I wouldn't. That's a real violation of the other persons mind Bones. Do you have any idea of the codes of conduct we empathic and telepathic species hold ourselves to in order to be members of the Federation? Species like us, the Deltans, the Betazoids, the Vulcans. Not cool man, not cool. You must realize that sometimes people just want you to look you in the eyes so that you can tell they are being sincere. That was all." Kirk shook his head. "Bones you'll have to do better to be CMO of a starship. You've got to be fair to everyone."

 

There was a group watching the exchange eager to see how the two men would handle the situation. McCoy sputtered. He was at a loss as to what to say. Jim could read his body language like a book. "It's ok, Bones, you'll get it. Mistakes are mistakes. We all make 'em. Cool?" Jim gave McCoy one of his smiles and offered his hand. They shook hands and McCoy relaxed, so did everone else.

 

"This is Captain Pike. Entering San Francisco airspace. Touchdown in 5 minutes."

 

Pike decided to take a person interest in Jim's development, so he signed on as his advisor. While planning his command track, which Jim insisted he was going to complete in three years, Pike decided that he should take one or two courses per semester outside of his direct tract to round out his education in all fields.

 

He put Jim through a series of tests. They did a really good job at showing his strengths and weaknesses. His weakness, if you could call it that, was in xenobiology. Jim tested well and had strong interests in both languages and engineering. Pike placed him in a second year xenolinguistics class with communications majors with one of his favorite graduates, Spock. Since Jim tested so well in engineering Pike was able to place him in an advanced class for engineering majors where they will be building impulse engines with the Caldorian, F'rink. They would both be good challenges for Jim.

 

When Jim got into his room after his meeting with Pike he was feeling great. He didn't care if anyone was there, as soon as he opened the door he crowed, "Hi Honey, I'm home" in his best Ricky Ricardo voice. He was greeted with the sound of the shower running. 

While he waited for his new room mate to come out of the shower he checked his schedule. 'Hmm, a Vulcan for xenoliguistics. I wonder if he'll teach us any in class. And, impulse engine construction, now that should be lots of fun!' he thought as Leonard McCoy stepped out of the bathroom naked interrupting Jims train of thought. "Hey Bones, I was wondering who my room mate was, guess it's you!"

 

McCoy was shocked. His mouth fell open, as he quickly grabbed towel wrapping, it around his waist. "Kirk! What the hell are you doing here? I asked for a private room because I don't want to be killing my room mate with my bizarre hours."

 

"It was my room first so, I could ask you the same thing. You can try to get a private room if you want, but I don't think it'll do you any good. I don't think you can get a private room until your third year. Besides you won't bother me, if I don't bother you. I have nightmares sometimes, so it might be good that you won't always be here at night. I tried to get a private room too. That's how I know about the third year thing."

 

McCoy held up a finger and disappeared into the left bedroom. Several minutes later he came out dressed in his red cadet uniform, which Kirk was already wearing. "I didn't see anything in either of the bedrooms when I got here so I didn't think anyone was here. It was really a surprise to see you when I got out of the shower."

 

Jim realized this is an apology of the McCoy variety, "we're good Bones. Hey you'll never guess who my advisor is?" McCoy shook his head. "Pike! We worked out my classes for the semester." He waved his schedule in the air. "So what took you so long to get here."

 

"I had to check in with the Chief of Staff at the hospital to let him know I'm here. I've known Greg Chapel since med school. It was Greg and his daughter Christine who convinced me to come here instead of going to Mississippi and trying to start my own practice. He told me I'd have a home here. I'm sure you can tell I'm not the happiest person thinking about working in space, but here I am." 

 

McCoy looked at Jim who was fidgeting, "son, you look like your ready to come out of your skin. Why don't you go for a walk or something. Hey are you like this often?"

 

"Yeah, if I'm not mentally engaged I've got lots of nervous energy. Sometimes I go workout or find someone to fight with. Why?" Jim asked.

 

"I think you should consider taking up running. It's somewhat easier on your body than fighting." McCoy replied.

 

Jim realized he needed all kinds of stuff, since all he came with was what he was wearing. So, he nodded to McCoy and said, "see you later Bones, I think I'm going shopping".

 

"Don't break the bank and spend all the credits in your account all at once." McCoy waved at Jim as he disappeared out the door.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please review!


	3. Who Is that Handsome Man

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jim meets Spock for the first time.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Totally re-edited from the version posted on FF.net and KS Archive. Over 1000 words added and I hope I got all of the tense fopa's. 
> 
> Original betaed by Trekkergurl. This is unbetaed.

Chapter 3 – Who is that Handsome Man?

Jim walked out of his Diplomatic Protocols class in a daze but with a sense of anticipation. It was time for his last class of the day, Xenolinguistics with the Vulcan Professor, Commander Spock. He had his fingers crossed that maybe he would get to learn some Vulcan.

He wound up spending several of his teenage years on Veenu where he had developed a fascination with Vulcan’s. From the library at the tiny University in Umseta, Jim had hacked his way all the way into Vulcan databases. Of course, everything had been in Vulcan, so there had been translation issues. Because he had knowledge of Standard, Veenan, Klingon and Betazed, he found that it had not been so difficult to translate the written language, but speaking it was another matter entirely.

The only potential problem that Jim could see with the class was if this Commander Spock was too monotone in his speaking. After two truly boring classes it would be difficult to sit through a boring lecture no matter how interesting the subject. 

As it turned out, Jim had no difficulty paying attention to the professor; it just was not for any reason he thought it would be. 

Just in case he would need to protect himself from potentially falling asleep he sat in the back of the class. Jim was well versed in sleeping with his eyes open. The only problem was that they glazed over he was told that he looked dead because he didn’t blink.

Uhura waltzed in like queen surveying her court and planted herself as close the center as possible. Smiling she looked around the class waving at some of the other cadets. When she met Jim’s eyes she frowned and he smiled back and gave her a finger wave in acknowledgement. 

When Commander Spock walked into the room Jim was astounded by his beauty. He didn’t think he had ever seen such a beautiful humanoid in his life; even the mother of his son paled in comparison. No matter how poorly she treated him in the end, until that moment he had still thought of Carol as the most beautiful creature he had ever met. But Commander Spock just left Carol in the proverbial dust in that department.

Jim’s heart rate increased and he could feel blood moving to embarrassing places, like his face and his dick. He put his hands in his lap and did his best to surreptitiously adjust himself. 

Spock stood at parade rest in the center of the room and surveyed his students, making momentary eye contact with each one. When his eyes met Jim’s they both felt an electric shock. Spock merely raised a brow. 

Jim’s reaction was a bit more severe; he bit his lip in an effort not to gasp and his eyes opened wider. Those were the only reactions that were visible. However, there were other things happening inside his body, some of which he didn’t even realize. What he did notice was the blood moving south, filling his penis and his pants becoming extremely uncomfortable. 

“What the fuck?” Jim thought. “How the hell did that happen? I have never gotten a hard-on just from looking at someone before! And what was that electric jolt? ”

Then Spock spoke and it was all Jim could do to hold it together. There was a depth to his voice that Jim felt as fingers reaching into his soul. He suppressed his shiver. For the first time in his life, James Tiberius Kirk felt his brain go numb in the presence of another person. Somewhere in the back of his mind there was a whisper telling him how Carol had never made him feel stupid just by looking at him.

Jim tried really hard to consciously pay attention to the information. However his brain refused to pay attention to anything except Spock. While he spoke Jim focused on his mouth: perfect lips, the way they moved as he spoke, Jim imagined the sensation of them moving over his own. His cock throbbed and he closed his eyes as lust clouded his mind. When he opened them he found Spock looking at him with a raised brow.

Jim was mortified. Suddenly his body went cold and everything wilted as he remembered that Vulcan’s were also empaths. “Fuck, that probably came through loud and clear. I just hope he didn’t realize I was thinking about him.” Jim thought, his mind much clearer than it was only moments before.

After Spock finished going over the syllabus he asked them to tell the class something in a language not native to themselves. Uhura decided to show off and try to impress by speaking Romulan. It seemed that her ploy may have worked as it got a raised eyebrow from the Commander. Jim thought about what to say and kept drawing a blank. 

All he knew was that he was going to use Klingon. So, when it was his turn he blurted out the first phrase that came to his mind, “IH loD el pa yab chlm." (Handsome man enter room mind empty)

Anyone who knew Klingon either was shocked or giggled. Spock locked eyes with Jim once again and raised an eyebrow. That time Jim felt a pull in the back of his mind and shook his head to try to dislodge it.

Their homework assignment was a doozy. They had to write a story between one and two thousand words in the language they spoke in, within the context that they spoke. Initially, when Jim heard that he buried his head in his hands, until an idea popped in. He would write a story about two warriors fighting over a woman who was promised to one and found the other one more to her liking. It would use his statement and be very Klingon in the process.

As it turned out there would be no instruction in Vulcan in this class. A course in Vulcan would not be taught at the Academy for two more semesters. Jim was disappointed when he read that on the syllabus. So when class was dismissed he waited behind to talk to Commander Spock. He was nervous but he wouldn’t let it show. 

Uhura had also waited behind to speak with the Commander. As Jim walked approached, he heard them discussing private tutoring, so he insinuated himself right into the conversation. 

Spock was saying, “yes Cadet Uhura, that would be agreeable.”

Jim said, “I want in.”

Uhura looked at him with her mouth hanging open and gasped.

Spock with what Jim would come to call ‘the eyebrow of doom’ and said in a voice dripping with ice, “Cadet Kirk, you were not part of this conversation.” 

Jim expected to see the puffs of moisture coming out with each word, his voice was that cold. He filed that under the heading, Sure Vulcan’s Don’t Have Emotions, and replied un-cowed, “I am now. I would like to join your tutoring in Vulcan.”

Spock narrowed his eyes slightly and continued in his icy tone, “Cadet, you are in the command tract, while Cadet Uhura is in the communications tract. Why should you receive private tutoring in Vulcan when there will be a course available in two semesters?” Spock was very suspicious of Kirk after his Klingon comment. There were other reasons, of the more personal, Vulcan variety, that made him want to be around the cadet however. 

“Well, um, I’ve always had a fascination with languages.” Jim swallowed and licked his lips. 

Spock forced himself not to watch Jim’s tongue. 

“And I’ve always wanted to learn Vulcan. I don’t particularly like to wait if it can be helped. I’m sort of a grab the bull by the horns kind of guy whenever the opportunity presents itself.” When he finished he smiled. It was a genuine smile; one of those Jim Kirk smiles that made females of many species swoon. 

That did not leave Spock unaffected. He had noticed that Kirk was aesthetically pleasing however, when he smiled he was transformed into a creature of rare beauty. Spock realized how blue Kirk’s eyes were.

Then Jim reached over and touched the back of his hand. He knew that Vulcan’s were touch telepaths and he wanted to convince Spock of his sincerity. 

He just grazed the back of Spock’s hand with his fingertips. The hand disappeared behind Spock’s back so fast Jim wasn’t sure that he actually touched him, except for the tingling that went up his arm. He looked up from his hand and met Spock’s eyes. 

Spock’s brows were drawn together as he looked at Jim. “I will tutor you. First session will be after the next class. Now, if you would, see yourselves out.” With that they were dismissed. Spock needed time to think and he absolutely needed to remove Kirk from his presence to do that.

Jim was feeling very confused. He was exhilarated that he was going to get his instruction in Vulcan and from Spock too. But then there was his physical reaction to Spock. He had never reacted like that before. Not even with Carol while they were waiting for the results of the prerequisite testing results and for the contraceptive shots to take effect. 

It was not easy being half Human and half Veenan as and having an abundance of testosterone in your system. The way the Veenan bond worked you needed an empathic connection with someone to become sexually aroused. That really conflicted with his Human sexual system that wanted to have sex all the time. Worst of all was he couldn’t even masturbate! It just didn’t work. So he gave up years ago because it was more frustrating that just being horny. So getting an erection from just meeting the eyes of a person was more than a little confusing to him.

Although Jim was a very emotional person he was exceptionally good at hiding his emotional state. He pushed his exuberance to the forefront, in case Bones was in the room, and walked in giving his favorite greeting. One he had heard from an early television show from the 1950’s, I Love Lucy. So, in his best Ricky Ricardo voice, he exclaimed, “Lucy, I’m home!”

McCoy looked up from the PADD he was studying, raised an eyebrow and gave Jim what he would call the ‘stink eye’ as he grouched, “who the hell is Lucy and why are you so damn happy?”

“’I Love Lucy’ Bones. It was an early twentieth century TV show. That’s what her husband said whenever he walked in the door. And I’m just happy… just like you’re miserable,” Jim winked at his friend and blew him a kiss as he said that.

He caught the small pillow out of the air that McCoy threw at him, laughing. “Good try Bones,” he said, “you’ll have to be faster than that to catch me.”

McCoy tried two more with the same results only he had waited until Jim went into the kitchen and was programing the replicator. He thought maybe he would catch Jim unaware and threw two pillows in rapid succession.

Jim turned faster than McCoy could see and caught both pillows. Jim laughed at the look of complete confusion on McCoy’s face. After throwing the three pillows back to McCoy he took his food from the replicator into the living area and sat on the sofa next to his roomy and waited for the inevitable question.

It didn’t take long. “Alright Jim, how did you do that?”

Jim smirked, saying, “been through some shit Bones, grew eyes in the back of my head as a result. As far as my speed, Veenan’s are two times faster than Human’s even though planetary gravity 1.2 of Earth’s. I remember being banned from lots of sports in elementary school because of that. My team wanted me, no other teams would let me compete. The only sport they let me play was baseball where my speed was only a minor advantage. I covered a lot of ground in center field and I was a 100% base stealer. Of course, it was elementary school.”

McCoy cracked a smile thinking of Jim playing baseball in elementary school. “Did you ever have to slide?” He asked.

Jim turned beet red before he answered. “I never had to slide, but I did it all the time because I thought it was cool.”

McCoy shook his head and replied, “show off.”

Jim nodded, “yeah, I was. In my imagination I was Joe Gish of the Cubs.” He could feel his ears getting even hotter as he admitted that.

McCoy’s smile was genuine now that they were discussing his favorite sport. “I was always a big Braves fan myself,” he said.

Jim snorted, before he said, “what is it with ownership? Atlanta has always had good teams while Chicago seemly gets a good team every now and them but that’s it. The rest of the time they trade away all the good players. I mean not all cities have the money of Atlanta, New York Boston or San Francisco but look at what the owners have done with teams like the Phillies and the Rangers.” He shook his head and finished eating.

“I know what you’re saying. I’m gonna talk about the Phillies because they are always in conflict with the Braves. Ever since the first decade of the twenty first century the entire National League East has been very contentious, however most of the time it has been either the Phils or the Braves on top. Did you know that there was a time, right around the time the augments took over, that they were talking about cloning some of the baseball greats that were still alive at the time?” McCoy looked at Jim who had just finished his last bit of his hamburger. He had to say, “you know kid, those things’ll kill you!”

“Don’t eat ‘em every day Bones.” Jim said and he sighed. “Look man, I have to meditate. It’s been a long day and I need to decompress.”

McCoy was surprised, he didn’t think of Jim as being someone who would use the practice of meditation. Not thinking, he growled, “you meditate?” 

Jim was a bit insulted by his tone and he let McCoy know, “yeah, is there a problem with my meditating? Why are you so surprised?”

“Sorry Jim, I didn’t mean it that way, I was surprised is all,” McCoy said in a conciliatory tone. “I just really didn’t think that you would stop for anything except to sleep.”

"Yeah. You sound so incredulous! Like it's absolutely the last thing in the world you would expect me to do." Jim turned giving him a look of rebuke, shaking his head. "Bones, I'm an empath living in a in a big city full of people with strong emotions. And it's not like I don't have my own. Until two days ago I lived in Iowa on a farm, alone, except for the times when my mother was home. Of course I have to meditate every day to quiet my mind and reinforce my shields. There are very few places where I wouldn't need to do that all the time. On Veenu I didn’t need to meditate all the time. Vulcan and Betazed maybe, I don't know. Places where people know how to keep their minds quiet, or like Vulcan where they keep their emotions hidden."

"What do you mean hidden? Vulcans don't have any emotions." McCoy replied.

Jim chuckled, "Bones, that's only what they want people to believe. Funny that most people fall for that bullshit too. But all you have to do is read their history. They have emotions; very strong emotions. They just keep them buried. You can't obliterate them. I've studied some of their history. Before the time of Surak they allowed their emotions to rule them. It was a very violent period in their history. Well, you know how history is always written by the victors of a conflict. According to them, embracing logic saved them from themselves. So, they actually bury their emotions. Well, they say they control their emotions. Or, it could be maybe they only repress them and someday there'll just be this huge explosion of Vulcan emotions… Boom!" As he said boom Jim made the gesture of things flying apart with his hands and he laughed diabolically.

"Go to your room Jim," McCoy admonished. Jim laughed and disappeared into his room.

The next day Jim had his other class that wasn't in his major, Impulse Engine Design and Construction. Engineering had always been one of his favorite subjects; it challenged his mind and allowed him to use his hands at the same time. His partner turned out to be this really crazy Scotsman, Montgomery Scott. He had the most outrageous ideas, like he could teleport objects onto starships traveling at warp speed. Jim liked him immediately. His mother would love to meet him, they could talk for hours. Scotty was a true engineer. By the end of the first day had a small impulse engine half way torn down.

"Hey Jimmy, why don’ we head out for a wee bit to drink?" asked the Scotsman.

"Alright Scotty, a small drink. I suppose you know the places around here?" Jim replied

"Aye, tis my second year. Got all the good places mapped out last year." Scotty nudged Jim with an elbow and cocked his head to their right. They walked in companionable silence until they reached a place five blocks off campus on a side street called Isaacs Pub.

There was one of those old fashioned wooden signs hanging out front, over the sidewalk of a beer mug and antique neon signs in the windows. Inside Isaacs was surprisingly clean for being this close to the rowdies on campus. Scotty picked a booth. Jim joined him after checking out some of the décor. Old metal beer signs abounded inside the place. Many of them from the 20th & 21st centuries. Beers no one even remembered being brewed anymore, like Schlitz, Fitger's, Old Union Lager, Pabst Blue Ribbon, Miller and Coors. Then there were the 47 different Budweiser signs of all different sizes from over the years. Best of all for Jim was that the signs were all in really great shape, yet unrestored. "Scotty this place is really cool" Jim observed as he sits down, "I love all the old beer signs".

The waitress came over to take their order. "Patrice, wonderful to see ye agin lass. I'll have a Guiness and a shot of that 100 year old double malt."

Patrice turned her gaze to Jim. "I'll have a pint of your best dark brew on tap, whatever it is. And can I get a cheeseburger with fries?"

"Sure thing. Any food for you Monty?" Patrice inquired.

"Aye, remember those big ham samwiches you made me last year?" Patrice nodded. "I'll take one of those with extra pickles. Thanks Lass."

As Patrice left to put in their order Scotty spied his friend Hikaru Sulu and called to him, "Ey Sulu." He waved.

Jim stood to shake hands. "Jim Kirk, Hikaru Sulu," Scotty introduced them, "Sulu currently pilots planes, helicopters and shuttles. Now he's here to learn to pilot starships. Jimmy is here to learn to be a captain." 

Patrice arrived with the first order of drinks. Sulu gave her his order.

"So, do you prefer Hikaru or Sulu," Jim queried.

"Actually, Hikaru, Karu or Sulu are all fine. My parents and closest friends call me Karu," he replied.

"Ok Karu, what do you do besides pilot?" Jim asked.

"I surf, wind surf, para-glide and fence. You?"

"I fight. Almost always more than one person. I've studied several human and non-human martial arts, albeit informally, and I've blended them into my own style. I'd like to try myself one on one against one of the stronger races. So far I've only fought humans and Orions from G1 planets. Well, come to think of it, Pike did say that Cupcake was part Beltan," Jim replied.

Jim was interrupted by simultaneous "Who?"'s from both Scotty and Sulu.

"Cupcake is the name I gave to a cadet who was giving me a hard time because, this stupid Iowa hick had the audacity to flirt with a pretty cadet,” he said that pointing to himself. "I think Pike said his name was Sam Giotto. Sounds like a typical Italian name, but Pike said he had some Beltan blood in there somewhere. If I recall correctly Beltus 3 is a G2 planet, which would explain why the dude was so big. Some Orions are stronger depending on their planet of origin. Vulcans are stronger by three times, so I'd love to spar with a Vulcan. Klingons are definitely stronger, although I don't think it's because their planet had higher gravity. However, I don't think I'll find any Klingons walking around the Academy" he laughed. The others joined him laughing at the thought of Klingons hanging around the Academy grounds.

Sulu looked at Jim, excited and exclaimed, "how many have you fought all at once?"

"I've taken down up to eight in one fight. Try to throw in too many at one time and it gets too confusing. There could always be a situation where you are overrun as an individual. No one could hope to cope with that."

"But if you could take down that many guys, surely you could take on one Vulcan!" Sulu said with enthusiasm.

"Doesn't work that way, my friend. One person, with the strength of three hitting you is going to have a lot more power than three people hitting you at the same time in the same place." Jim reached out and lays a hand on Sulu's arm, like his uncle would, and gave him a little smile. Hikaru realized he liked this guy.

A goal of Jim’s has always been to constantly improve his skill set and gain new ones "Hey Karu, I have a proposition for you". Sulu looked at Jim expectantly. "Why don't we do an exchange? You teach me to fence, I'll teach you various fighting techniques." Jim smiled.

"Sounds like a plan, man" Sulu replied offering Jim his hand which he took.

Suddenly Sulu jumped up and said, "Excuse me, I’m supposed to be meeting a friend here and he just came in."

Both heads at the table watch as Sulu goes to this blond, curly haired young kid. As they head over to the table, Jim and Scotty make quick conversation and like they hadn’t just been watching.

Sulu slid back into his seat next to Scotty, the new guy sat next to Jim. "Guys, this is my friend Pavel Chekhov. Pavel, this is Scotty & Jim." As Sulu introduced them Jim got a really good look at the kid and realized he can't be more than 15. 

"Pavel is a mathematical genius. No one could keep up with him in Russia, he was already doing PhD work, so they figured he had nowhere to go but up. Literally! So they shipped him over here to Starfleet Academy." Sulu explained.

Patrice noticed the new person at the table and came right over for an order. "I vill haf a Pepsi and a cheese burger, please. Sank you," Pavel said.

Jim looked at Pavel and inquired, "so Pavel, how old are you anyway. No offense but you look really young."

"I am not offended. Currently I am 14 years old. But I vill be 15 soon. Zey put me in second year classes. I stay vith Karu, zat is how ve met," Pavel replied blushing slightly.

Sulu looked at the others who are giving him a knowing look. "Get that shit out of your heads guys. Pavel is young and innocent. Starfleet asked if I would take care of him. They can't have someone this young and cute running around here with all these sharks unescorted, can we? He could get in way too much trouble. We've only been here for a few days and I already don't like the ways some of the Orions, both female and male are looking at him. It's like they think he's a sacrificial lamb or something. Gives me the creeps," Karu said.

Jim nodded, thinking what it would mean if he felt that protective of someone else. It certainly wouldn't be platonic and innocent. But, he reminded himself, he wasn't fully human either, they were. He had different instincts. Watching the two he could feel something from Pavel; it felt kind of like hero worship. Jim put his head in his hands and thought, “God, I need to meditate. And I really need to talk to Mom about yesterday, that was just weird.”

"Hey guys, I've gotta go." Jim, who had only finished half his burger, almost jumped. "Sorry. I'm just not used to being around this many people. Just left Iowa less than a week ago. Hardly anyone there compared to here in San Francisco." He shrugged looking embarrassed and threw some credits on the table to cover his cost. Starfleet academy certainly was going to take some getting used to for him.

Jim excused himself and left Isaacs heading back to his housing apartment deep in thought.


	4. Hoshi Sato

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> First private tutoring session.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Rewritten from postings elsewhere. Much better.

Chapter 4 - Hoshi Sato

It was two AM San Francisco time when the call came back from Winona. Luckily it was one of those nights McCoy was working, so he wasn't awakened by the comm unit beeping. Jim got up from his meditation. He had been unable to sleep.

"Hi Mom." He placed his index and middle fingers of his right hand on his lips, kissed them, then touched them to his forehead in the Veenan greeting of a child to a distant parent.

Winona touched the same to fingers to her lips then brought them to her heart, "Hi Jimmy. You look like you were meditating. Good. How're you making out in the city? I know it can't be easy."

"Gee Mom, you have the knack of getting right to the heart of the matter." He chuckled, "but there's more to it than that. I have to say it's weird being around so many people and having to keep my shields up so tight all the time. Last time I was around this many people was on Veenu. But there I didn't have to worry about it because people know how to keep their minds quiet. Here everyone just bleeds emotion. I meditated for two hours when I first got back here today, then after I ate I tried sleeping. It was useless. So I went back to meditating until you commed back." Jim said sadly, looking around for a minute thinking of how to broach the subject of what happened when he first saw Commander Spock.

"I know it's hard Jimmy. For the past five years you've been in Riverside. Now, while you were there you got in trouble there because you were bored to tears, but it was a nice quiet place for an empath as strong as you. Shanquat (Shaman) T’remel warned us that those things could come to pass if we came back to Earth. But he also knew that you had to come back to Earth. You were stifled on Veenu.” Winona paused for a moment to focus her thoughts.

"A few days ago you were living on a farm outside of a town of several thousand and now you are in a city of millions. Plus you are in groups with others your age. I know that you're no social butterfly. And, I know with that pretty face of yours that there are going to be both girls and boys who are going to want to be with you. Some may even become jealous of your looks and spread rumors about you. These are things some humans do that you've been sheltered from, so don't let them hurt you.” She sighed. It bothered her more than she could say that she couldn’t be there for him, again.

"Ah, my dearest one, I wish I could be there for you right now. You really need someone who understands you." Winona smiled sadly at her son and reached out a hand toward him.

"Um, Mom, there’s something else. Something, different, happened in one of my classes. Nothing like this ever happened to me before. It surprised me and frankly it scared me." Jim detailed his reaction on initially seeing Commander Spock. “What scared me most was the pull in my mind. I thing that he sensed my feelings even though I was shielding them. Is it even possible to form a bond with someone just by looking them in the eye?”

Winona smiled a little. She didn’t want to give anything away. After Jim had his ‘seeing’ with T’remel, even though he didn’t want to know anything, T’remel had given her some information. One of the things he told her was that Jim would form an Amana bond with a male Vulcan. She did her best to keep him calm by speaking very calmly, "Well, I can't say for sure what happened. What I do know is that it is very, very rare for our people to spontaneously form an empathic bond with another. And to form a spontaneous bond with someone of another species, well, um, I have to doubt that. But only you or a Shanquat can tell for sure. And I seriously doubt that a spontaneous empathic bond would be one sided, remember that. If you do form a spontaneous bond with this man, it would not be only you being drawn in; he would be drawn in as well. However, I wouldn't worry. Thoughts of spontaneous bondings are things of legend; I don't recall any happening in real life.

"Look, Jimmy, you really need to sleep. Meditation is wonderful, but it is no substitution for real sleep. You know should be getting at least five hours sleep a night son,” Winona admonished. For the millionth time she felt the guilt run through her because she wasn’t there for her boy. She had another three years before she was eligible for a full time ground assignment. She was thinking of teaching engineering at the Academy when that happened.

"I know Mom,” Jim said with a sigh and a shrug. “I'll get used to being around all the psychic noise. It'll be a while before I'm truly comfortable here. But I'll get with the program. I haven't gotten this far without the ability to adapt. And I’ll figure out what’s happening with Spock. Thanks Mom. I love you."

"I love you too Jimmy. Call again soon." They repeated their greetings at the same time then Winona cut the channel. When Jim went back to bed he found that speaking with his mother helped him ease his mind and he as soon as his head hit the pillow he fell into a deep sleep and slept better than he had since he arrived.

During their second xenolinguistics class Commander Spock wanted each person in the class to repeat a specific phrase in a language, preferably their own, non-standard native language. The phrase he wanted each of them to repeat was "I am pleased to great you in my native tongue". He wanted everyone to hear the differences between the languages and how many languages could not provide exact translations. The languages did not have to be non-native to Earth, just non-standard.

There were four versions of Spanish, one French, one Fin, one Chinese, one Korean, two Andorian each did a different region, one Tellerite, then Uhura who spoke in Swahili and Jim of course in his native Veenan.

Uhura translated as exactly as she could in Swahili "Mimi tafdhali ili na ninyi katika angnu safi lugha". (I please to have you in my pure tongue/language.)

As did Jim, "Ves nosha do merga vi ves lidin shoma". (I pleased to great you I home village tongue.)

After going around the class with this exercise Commander Spock spoke of the of missions of the first Enterprise and Hoshi Sato's work in developing the Universal Translator. Hoshi Sato was a hero to the Veenan people because she prevented a very serious misunderstanding at first contact with the Enterprise. Because of this her memory should be a good one, but it wasn't for Jim. Unconsciously he sank down in his seat and frowned.

Jim didn't move when the rest of the class left. He was so lost in dark memories that he didn't even realize class was over. Commander Spock walked over to him and inquired, "Cadet Kirk are you alright"? 

Jim didn't acknowledge him because he didn't even realize anyone was there. Spock reached out and touched his arm, being careful to avoid skin to skin contact, however, a profound sense of sadness hit him anyway. Jim jumped at the contact, "whoa shit. Sorry Commander, where were we?"

"Class is complete for the day Cadet Kirk. You, however, seem troubled. There are 1.53 hours before tutoring, would you like to come to my office, we can get something to eat and talk while we await Cadet Uhura's arrival." Spock was curious as to why the Cadet sunk into himself at the mention of Hoshi Sato.

"Yeah, um, sure, sounds nice." They started walking toward Spock’s office when Jim asked in a self-deprecating way, "so, what did you pick up when you touched me?" Jim knew that he had to detect something, even threw his shirt.

Spock looked at him with his right eyebrow raised. "Only that you are distressed."

"Hoshi Sato was a very important person to the Veenan people. If it wasn't for her remarkable ability with languages and her work with the universal translator Veenu would never have joined the Federation. Captain Archer almost caused an enormous misunderstanding that would have caused my people to put the Federation in the same category as the Xindi. If it wasn't for Hoshi's work, I would never have been born." 

Jim looked up at Spock. His eyes were glowing slightly greenish. "Do you know how she died Commander?"

"I do not know the details, only that she died on Tarsus IV during the massacre." Spock could see that Jim’s eyes have become brighter with unshed tears. They arrived at Spocks office and he ushered Jim inside closing the door behind them.

"At 107 years old, Kodos the Executioner decided that she'd lived too long and that the tiny amount of food she ate was a threat to the 'Chosen', so he had her hung. It was a specific message to the Veenan 'mind freaks', as he called us. All because she lived with us. The message was that we were all going to die, horribly." While Jim relayed that the tears were rolling freely down his cheeks.

Spock wanted to know more about this Cadet. He could see that the cadet's eyes were glowing green. Spock had made it a point to study the available information on other species with special abilities, and he knew that if a Veena had green glowing eyes it meant distress of some kind. He felt some unease asking, "Cadet Kirk, you said we and us. Were you speaking metaphorically?" He could sense the beginnings of a connection to this cadet he only met two days previously and he was nothing if not curious. That was what made him the scientist that he was. The fact that Kirk was distressed caused him concern.

Jim looked Spock in the eyes. He could sense the Vulcan’s unease with the question. He could also sense a genuine concern. So, he decided to open up a little. Jim knew that, unlike a human, a Vulcan would not go around gossiping. Something he told Spock in confidence would stay with Spock. He sighed, squared his shoulders and steeled himself for whatever would come of the revelation. He looked Spock in the eye and said, "from experience Commander. I was there. I was one of the nine Veenan children to get out alive.” He looked down at the floor and said, almost so quietly that Spock couldn’t hear, “it’s not a time in my life particularly wish to recall."

Spock realized that Kirk just told him something intensely private and was amazed. He was also aware that there was a great deal more behind what Jim just told him. Many layers. And it was not just his experience on Tarsus IV, James T. Kirk had many, many layers. Yes, Cadet Kirk was certainly a puzzle to Spock; yet one he realized that he would not mind piecing together.

In a blatant attempt to change the subject, Jim pointed over Spock’s shoulder, "hey, is that a 3D chess set right there behind you Commander?"

"Indeed. Do you play?" Spock said, that chess set had been a gift from his mother, however he had yet to find a worthy opponent.

"I've been wanting to play 3D chess against a live opponent for a long time. Those computer games you guys have made are ridiculously easy to beat."

At that comment Spock looked at Jim askance. Those computer games were programed to be very difficult. Spock noticed that Jims eyes have returned to their natural blue and said, "first we should eat."

Spock observed that although there are many meat containing items available through the replicator, Jim picked out vegetarian lasagna for himself. Spock chose a salad and bowl of soup for himself. He asked, “do you not eat meat Cadet?”

Jim smiled at him as he replied, “sure I do Commander, but I know that your olfactory senses are very acute and that just the smell of meat can be repugnant to most Vulcan’s.”

To say that Spock was impressed by Jim’s knowledge about Vulcan’s, as well as, his consideration would be an understatement. Of course, he would never let it show. 

Since Jim had shared some intensely personal information, he would share some personal information as well. He said, “Admiral Archer and Captain Pike have been the only other people to show such consideration since my arrival here. I will admit getting used to the smell of cooked meat was a difficult adjustment to make. Your consideration is appreciated.”

When Jim smiled at him Spock was reminded of the sun in the Vulcan desert in high summer. 

When Jim won the first game quickly using very unconventional tactics, Spock found himself further intrigued by the blond. "Cadet Kirk, you play a very unconventional game." Spock looked at Jim with his right brow raised and his head cocked.

"Is that a complement Commander?" Jim asked playfully, smiling. He then raised an eyebrow and added in a deeper voice trying to imitate Spock’s, "no Cadet, it is merely a statement of fact." 

When he heard that both of Spock’s eyebrows hit his hairline. 

Jim, feeling he might have crossed a line, switched back to his normal voice, and waved his hands in surrender and said, "don't get mad, imitation is the sincerest form of flattery".

Spock looked at Jim, and held his eyes for a moment, before he said, it was, in fact, both a statement of fact and a complement Cadet Kirk. Shall we have a rematch?"

They were just setting up for a fourth game when Uhura arrived. They had obviously been playing because they were putting the pieces back on the board. She looked at Jim, "how long have you been here?" acid dripping from her voice.

Jim looked at her both surprised and hurt. 

Watching the brief interchange between the two Spock decided it would best for situation if he replied. So he said, "I brought him here after class Cadet Uhura. There was some information of a personal nature which we needed to discuss. Once that was complete we took advantage of the remaining time for a meal and to play chess while we awaited your arrival."

"Information of a personal nature," she said jealously with a huff.

With that comment Jim felt the need to say something himself, "Uhura, did you ever have a personal hero? One of mine was Hoshi Sato. Talking about her in class made me think about how she died." Jim closed his eyes and all he could see behind his lids was the husk of her ancient body swinging from the tree branch as it blew in the wind. His eyes popped open and he growled, "I doubt you'd understand".

Uhura got ready to respond but Spock holds up a hand, "Kaiidth". 

They both looked at him expectantly as he explained, "there is your first word in Vulcan. It means what is, is. You are both here for private tutoring sessions. You will not bicker during these sessions or there will be no more sessions. Am I understood!"

"Yes Sir," they chorused.

After his students left Spock sat back in his chair, hands steepled unconsciously under his chin, and pondered his students. They were going to make it an intriguing semester. He had been able to determine the first day of class that they were both outstanding students of well above average intelligence. 

During that first tutoring session he had been able to begin to pinpoint some of the strengths of the two. Cadet Uhura was perfect and precise with her pronunciation which would make her an extremely valuable communications officer. Cadet Kirk was showing an almost intuitive ability to put things together quickly without assistance. Spock had given them words and their meanings and asked them if they could put them into a sentence. Kirk finished quickly and his work was sentence structure was perfect, although his pronunciation needed a little work. Uhura took a bit longer and her sentence structure was almost perfect. She explained that she had based her structure on what she knew of Romulan, which was a similar language. 

When Uhura had asked him how he had figured out the sentence so quickly without anything to base it on Kirk just shrugged. He told her that he had no idea how he picked up languages so easily, but that he had done the same thing when he learned Klingon. He told her that he picked up Klingon by hanging out with a bunch of Klingon kids his age and listening to them talk. One day he just walked up to them and started talking to them, in Klingon and from that day forward they were good friends.

Spock smiled inside at the memory of Uhura’s face when Kirk told her he had picked up Klingon so casually. He could tell that their natural desire to compete with each other would only drive them to do better than they would do by themselves; he would just have ensure they kept that competition friendly.

And of course, there was the added mystery of Cadet Kirk. He was the first Veena Spock had the opportunity to meet. Like Spock himself he was a hybrid with a human. Spock could not help but wonder if that made Kirk outcast in Veenan society like it made himself outcast in Vulcan society. Highly unlikely from what he knew of Veenan’s, who generally treated others as brothers and sisters. They truly followed the Vulcan principals of IDIC, unlike many of the Vulcan’s themselves.

Jim was feeling rather smug as he walked back his apartment with Bones. He had thrown both Spock and Uhura for a loop when he had made that sentence. Then he asked the word for universe, and came up with the sentence 'etek dungi gal-tor stukhtra' (we will see universe). Uhura had seemed impressed. That really surprised him.

When Jim entered the apartment he was quiet, so McCoy was taken by surprise. So he had to ask, "what, no inane greeting from some 20th century sit-com? You ok, Jimmy?"

"I'm great Bones! I was just doin' some thinking. Ok, if it'll make you happy, 'hi Lucy I'm home' or would you prefer Edith Bunker?" With which Jim changed his voice so he can imitate Edith. He sat next to McCoy threw an arm across his shoulder and said, "hi Archie. Are you OK, you look like you need a doctor."

They both laughed. "Jimmy, you watched way too much 20th century TV when you were growing up. And, by the way, your impersonations are marginal, at best. Good thing you're not planning on going into stand-up comedy for a living." They both laugh even harder.

"Living in the middle of butt fuck nowhere I had to figure something out to keep myself from getting too bored. When I get bored, well, let's just say, it's not really a good thing. I tend to do stupid shit, like go start fights then spend the night in jail. Modern TV sucks but I found some of the older stuff was really good. There were a couple of really good science fiction shows around the turn of the 20th, 21st century that I really liked. Maybe I'll start quoting them next. But I'll have to search my memory for good quotes for coming home and stuff 'cause they were both pretty serious fights for humanity. Although Babylon 5 did have its comic relief." Jim was rambling, lost in his own thoughts. McCoy didn't mind, he was learning about his roommate.

"I've read a lot of science fiction as well. My dad had a large collection of real books. Next time I go home I think I'll bring some back with me. From those books, I found I just love the feel of real books in my hands. Reading e-books just isn't as satisfying as turning real paper pages.

"You know, it would be so cool if those writers were around today to see what we're doing with real science. I can't imagine what some of the older sci-fi writers would think, like Jules Verne or H. G. Wells who were both born in the middle of the 19th century. Can you imagine a hollow Earth with dinosaurs and sunshine inside? Or a time machine that you could just set the numbers of the date you wanted to go to and away you would go? Too cool." Jim went on for an entire hour about his beloved science fiction books, TV shows and authors.

Finally McCoy decided that if he didn't stop him he would keep going all night. "Jimmy, I hate to break this up, but it's 2130 and I've got early shift at the hospital, so I've gotta hit the sack. But I really enjoyed our little talk."

"Wow Bones, I didn't realize it was that late. Thanks for stopping me. I can get motor mouth sometimes when I'm talking about something I like and to me science fiction is a fascinating as real science. You know that is where a lot of people have gotten their ideas, right?" 

McCoy nodded. 

Jim smiled and said, "night Bones". With that he headed into his room for some much needed meditation and sleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please leave me a comment!


	5. Of Poker and Fighting

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> re-write of the chapter that was posted on FF.net and K/S Archive

Chapter 5 - Of Poker and Fighting

The room was quiet except the occasional click/clack of poker chips at the round table set up in small space between the living room sofa, the tiny kitchen stand-up counter, and the bedroom doors. Four men were sitting on folding chairs watching young Pavel Chekov fiddling with his chips, which happened to be the largest individual pile. 

"Pavel, are you going to make a bet or are you going to sit there and play with your chips?" Jim growled in a whisper. The hand had become very intense and the pot had grown to over 1200 credits.

"I vill see you and raise you feefty credits." He threw in his chips and looked around the table with his cute, now 15 year old grin. The grin which was his poker face; it hadn’t waivered one iota, Jim had been watching carefully for any tells.

"Too rich for my blood." Jim said throwing down his cards in disgust. He was down 500 credits for the hand and his pile was getting pretty pitiful. It was a good thing they were playing with fake credits and they started fresh each game; his chips, his rules! Otherwise they'd be playing for coffee sticks. 

Jim was stunned by the genius of the kid; it didn’t seem to matter what it was that he was doing, he was amazing when he did it. Jim was really smart, but that kid was smarter than him in ways that he couldn’t even imagine. His Mother had sent him the poker table and box of chips telling him that she thought that it would be a fun way for him to practice reading the subtitles of human body language. Ha. There were no tells, not a single one. He sat there thinking that he should stick with chess with Spock, he found him much easier to read than this group. And that made him wonder if other Vulcan's would be as easy. This was one exercise in frustration! 

Sulu and Scotty were still in the hand. Then Sulu threw his cards on the table, saying, "I'm with Jim."

Scotty who had been staring at Chekov, looked back at his cards and said very seriously, "Jimmy pour me a shot." 

Jim poured Scotty a shot of vodka, their chosen poison for the evening, which he promptly threw back and resumed staring at Chekov. "I'll see ye," he said throwing another 50 credit chip onto the pile. 

Chekov laid down his cards, a 10 high straight flush, the same grin on his face he had been wearing all evening. 

Scotty threw his cards down in disgust, saying, "damn, I canna believe it!" 

Everyone looked at Scotty's cards; he had four kings, not many hands would beat four kings. 

Pavel jumped up all excited “Я выиграл еще раз” (I won again)! Scotty and Jim looked at him sideways while Sulu shook his head. They couldn’t believe how the kid had won the majority of the games.

Before Chekov could start raking in his winnings Sulu broke in "alright guys, it's 2345. According to Starfleet, if Pavel isn't in bed by the witching hour he'll turn into a pumpkin." They all laughed and Chekov turned beet red and ducked his head. Jim sensed that all he wanted to do is melt into the background and disappear in embarrassment. Pavel was tired of the attention that he had been getting for the past year because he was the youngest cadet in Starfleet history.

Having been the odd man out Jim understood his predicament and although he really wanted to ruffle the kids curly hair and give him a hug, he refrained. There was no need to embarrass the kid further. So all he did was stand and say, “I guess that’s goodnight then guys."

Everybody waved and the boys walked out leaving Jim and Scotty. Bones was working in the ER that night.

Scotty poured two shots and passed one to Jim.

Jim looked at the bottle and realized that the vast majority of all that vodka went down Scotty's gullet.

“Tha'young la's a genius Jimmy. How's ze do it all the time?” Scotty slurred to Jim.

“Mathematics my friend. The kid is math. I swear he eats, breaths, sleeps and likely dreams equations. He has some really interesting theories of his own. You really should get together with him. He will probably be able to help you out with that crazy theory of yours about trans-warp beaming. " Jim watched his friend, and simply waited to see if he would fall over or something.

 

“Aye, I'll see wha' he has to say” As Scotty poured himself another shot and downed it faster than he could believe it Jim’s eyebrows crawled up his very tall forehead. “Well Jimmy, I thin' I be turnin in for the nigh'.”

 

Jim didn’t think that he was going to be able to walk before the last shot. His right eyebrow came down. “Right, uh, sure Scotty, you planning to crawl?” Jim asked as Scotty shakily tried getting up and wound up grabbing Jim by the arm.

Jim gave him a long, hard look before he said, “Good thing it's Saturday night and there aren't any classes tomorrow 'cause I think you had a bit too much of that vodka. And just because I’m such a nice guy, I'm gonna walk you home just to make sure you get there ok."

That caused Scotty to laugh a bit which led to a bout of hiccups. Jim wasn’t happy to see Scotty with hiccups as they frequently led to vomiting. To get to Scotty's apartment they had to circumnavigate all of the dorm buildings on the campus to an older section of buildings that had only recently been renovated. Once out into the open Jim noticed that Scotty seemed to be walking just fine. They made it without any problems. 

On the way back to his room Jim decided to take a more scenic route by passing behind the dorms through the woods. As he descended into a shallow dell he could sense someone following him. Initially He didn't think anything of it since there were quite a few students on campus; until the anger hit him. Not anger, hate and it was directed specifically at him. He opened his shields enough to see if he can recognize the person who hated so much him as he continued walking. 

"Fuck me, it's Cupcake," he thought. “What did I do to make him dislike me so much, all I did was flirt with Uhura.”

Jim stopped and spin very dramatically. In a voice like silk he spoke, “hey Cupcake, I know it's you. What is it you want? You want a piece of me? Come on, come and get it. You can have it.” Then, in the universal declaration of invitation, he opened his arms.

Giotto walked out of the shadows and up to Jim his chin jutting out. He growled out between all but barred teeth, "Kirk, yeah, I want to kick your ass. You think you're some kind of tough hot shit genius boy because you’re the son of a hero and Captain Pike likes you, well you're nothing. You're an embarrassment to Starfleet. How many times you been to jail Kirk?" 

Although Jim really hated the thing where everybody thought that the only reason he got into Starfleet was because of his father he was not going to prove anything on that score by fighting. That he had a place there at Starfleet was something he needed to prove with other actions, such as, right now, staying out of trouble and getting good grades. And, fighting on campus was not a way to stay out of trouble.

He pushed Jim who saw it coming, adjusted his body weight accordingly and therefore didn't move. They wound up so close they were almost touching chest to chest. Jim simply watched him, looking up into Giotto's eyes, totally calm; he refused to allow anger to enter the picture.

Jim could feel how much every little refusal of his to rise to the bate was infuriating Giotto and he did consider laughing in response to his insults. A game he had learned from his Klingon friends was to insult each other and laugh, not fight, no matter how much anger you felt in your heart. It had been Gorkon who had picked on his anger about being compared to his father until it had hurt less and he had been able to deal with it. He could only hope that Gorkon had somehow survived, unlike the other young Klingon’s.

While they were having their little discussion three of Giotto's buddies came out of the fog to surround Kirk. They couldn’t hide from his senses, but he stood where he was as if they weren’t there. Jim was going to let Cupcake have him, just to get him off of his case, but with four of them there was no way he was going down easy.

Knowing that the fight was inevitable, he wanted to get it over with, so Jim taunted him, “Cupcake are you so afraid of me you need to bring your buddies? I would have let you have your way and beat me to a pulp if that was what you wanted; if it was only you. But it’s not only you. I’m not going to go down easy with four of you.”

Giotto stepped back laughing. “I wanted a repeat of the bar fight. I was hoping you'd be sober though, but I can tell you've been drinking.” He leaned close to Jim and said, “I can smell it on you.”

“Only two shots, brother. And I can tell you that will not make a difference, so do your worst.” Jim said as he shook himself to make sure he was loose. He then waited for whatever they were going to throw at him. 

Jim did not have to wait for long, the response was almost instantaneous.

“I am not your fucking brother!” Giotto said as he swung at Jim’s face which Jim blocked easily.

The others came up on him and Jim turned into a whirlwind. If Cupcake and his cronies thought they were going to be able to beat up on Jim they were quickly dissuaded of the notion. For every punch or kick they landed, Jim landed many. 

In short order the four attackers are on the ground groaning. As he began to walk over to Giotto, he lightly scanned the other three of them for excessive amounts of pain that would indicate a serious injury. One was mildly concussed from a kick to the head. Jim checked him to make sure he was alright before moving onto the others. Another had a broken nose, but was otherwise alright. The third was merely stunned. 

He finally made it to Giotto. This thing, whatever the fuck ‘it’ was, that started in the bar in Iowa had to stop. This was Starfleet Academy not some bar room after all. If he wanted to fight, the least he could do was to pick it off campus while dressed in civvies. 

Jim rolled Giotto onto his side and lifted his left eyelid, looking in. It took a few seconds for his presence to register. When it did Giotto's eye widened all on its own and he tried to scamper backwards, but he found he couldn’t. 

Jim’s voice was as sharp as a sword as he said, “ well, how 'bout it Cupcake; have you had enough? Can we be done with this stupid shit?” 

Giotto grunted, nodding, eye still as wide as it would go. The other wouldn’t open too well for several days. It was already sporting a rather impressive bruise.

“Good.” Jim’s smile was wicked as he replied. After a good look into Cupcake’s eye he released his eyelid, wiped his hands and walked away. All he could hope for was that Cupcake would learn his lesson and leave Jim alone.

Jim didn't quite feel ready to go back to his room after the fight, he was way too worked up; too much adrenalin in his system. So he continued walking aimlessly around campus. As he walked he thought about his interactions with the psi-null species that he has had. Most of them have been Humans. 

His worst experience with Humans came in school. It was not the best experience of his formative years. It was well known that Human children tend to be cruel to anyone who was different and Jim was very different. Not only was Jim an empath but he was telekinetic. The telekinesis led to Jim playing little games with people. In kindergarten and first grade the pranks were things that he could easily get away with; moving toys, pencils, books or other small things. 

Then came the day in second grade when he went too far. It was a harmless prank, but it could not be blamed on someone forgetting where they put something. A little less than half way through the school year a new class mate had joined them. She had been very pretty, but anti-social. All the boys in the class had tried, and failed to get her attention. And she didn’t even talk to any of the girls. No one really liked her because of that and the fact that she kept her nose stuck in the air with her prim and proper ways. It made her a target no self-respecting seven year old boy could resist. He caused all the stitching to become undone between the bodice and skirt of her dress and when she got up to use the rest room the skirt just fell off. All the boys in the class laughed, except Jim who just looked smug. The teacher saw that which led school officials to begin to investigate him. Once the truth came out it was required that he be home schooled.

This was one of the contributing factors that led Winona to send Jim to live with her sister and her family at the Veenan colony on Tarsus IV. He spent many years off planet and returned to live on the farm in Iowa, by himself at seventeen. So this time at the Academy was his first time truly interacting with humans in any number.

He became aware of presence walking with him, with no leaking emotions. He wondered how long Spock had been there before he noticed him.

“Oh hi Commander, how you doing? I was walking and thinking and not really paying attention to much of anything, until I felt a presence that wasn't leaking emotions walking next to me,” Jim said without turning his head.

Spock regarded him with a raised eyebrow and a slight quirk of his lips, saying, “you are on the opposite side of the campus from your room Cadet Kirk. It is also very early in the morning, 0125 hours, why are you still out?”

“I had to walk one of my friends home from a poker game because he drank too much. Besides, there's no curfew tonight.” Jim returned, still not looking at him.

“Cadet Kirk, stop and look at me,” Spock commanded.

Reluctantly, Jim turned toward Spock and slowly raised his eyes to make contact. 

Spock quickly took stock. Jim was in street clothes. His tee shirt was torn from the neck down the right sleeve. The torn flap of fabric had streaks of blood where Jim had wiped his nose. His right eye was slightly swollen. Spock raised an eyebrow and said, “Cadet Kirk, it appears that you did more than walk your friend home. You have been in a fight.” 

Then, as if under a compulsion Spock gently reached up and touched the edge of the swollen area of Jim's eye. Both of them were surprised by the electric like shock that passed through the touch. Spock pulled back his hand and they look at each other. Spock's right eyebrow disappears into his hairline briefly before returning to normal. 

Then, as if nothing had happened Spock said, “I will walk you back to your room to ensure no further incidents.” However, his mind was swirling as he thought, “I must further investigate this phenomena.”

Jim hadn't realized he was holding his breath, as he exhaled the words, "um no, no Commander... I'll be fine." Jim insisted, looking at his shoes, thinking, “What the fuck. It can't be. I've gotta get away from here, from him.”

“I must insist.” Spock said, looking at him coolly, “I am curious as to why were you fighting?” Spock pretends not notice Jim's discomfort as they continue on toward Jim's side of the campus.

“That guy I told you about before, Cupcake. He brought three buddies and he decided he was going to a repeat of the bar fight back in Iowa. In his mind I'm a disgrace to Starfleet because I've been in jail a time or two. He’s one of those who is of the opinion that I got into the academy based solely on my last name and Pike’s recommendation. He also wanted to prove to me that, even sober, I couldn't take on the four of them. So, I let them start it, but I finished it.” Jim told him.

“You have been incarcerated?” Spock asked, finding himself interested in learning new things about this young man.

Jim found himself getting defensive and sarcastic, as he always did about that subject. “Yeah, as an 8 year old I was arrested for driving a car off a cliff. Well, the car went over the cliff, not me, obviously. I spent 3 days in juvie before they got in touch with my mother who was in deep space.” Jim found himself looking for bugs on the ground. 

“Why do you fight?” Spock inquired, his curiosity piqued.

Still feeling defensive Jim replied, “Because, in lieu of being able to have sex, it makes me feel alive. What of it?”

“Would you like to spar sometime?” When Spock asked this Jim mentally stopped, thinking back to his talk with Sulu at Isaac's. He couldn't believe that the Commander just offered to spar with him. He sighed and swallowed, knowing that Spock wanted an answer, but he was afraid. Sparring would bring them into very close physical contact.

“Tor-yehat etek gal-tor,” (possible we see) Jim replied warily in Vulcan. 

Jim didn't think it was a good idea to spar with that particular Vulcan. His body and mind wanted it too much and Spock deserved someone better than him; someone who wasn’t broken. Whenever Jim had seen him look at Uhura, well, seemed he was attracted to her. But just thinking about Spock and Uhura together was very uncomfortable. That made Jim a bit mad at himself when he realized he was jealous over something that didn’t even exist! He shook his head. He hardly knew this guy. But hell he was fucking beautiful, especially in those damn black uniforms. Which made him wonder if he ever wore anything else.

Spock nodded accepting Jim's answer, no questions. He was very pleased to hear him using his Vulcan language skills. “Du stariben Vuhlkansu weh-rom kanok pon. (You speak Vulcan better every time.) It is good to hear you practicing in everyday conversation.”

They continued walking and Jim continued watching the ground. At that moment he was conflicted and disgusted with himself. 

“What was the disposition of the other four in the fight?” Spock asked, looking over and noticing that Jim was carefully studying the cracks in the sidewalk.

“I left them stunned. They'll all have more bruises than I will! One of them was mildly concussed and one had a broken nose, those were the worst of the injuries. Oh, and Cupcake’s right eye was already black and blue. But I didn’t detect anything serious.” Jim replied still watching his feet.

Jim realized they were close to the place where the fight took place so he detoured them there. As they passed through the area where the fight took there was no evidence of the four attackers. Jim opened his empathy to feel for residual emotions and was satisfied. He cracked a small smile as he said, “well Spock, I left them here and they're gone. I don't sense any residual pain. It's cool. No one's the worse for wear.”

Spock looked at Jim with his right eyebrow raised and noticed that Jim was still looking at the ground. “Cadet Kirk, you have been continually looking at the ground for some time now,” he said, stopping them by grabbing Jim by the wrist. He was hit with a wave of self-disgust, fear and distress. 

As gently as he could, Spock said, “look at me Cadet.” 

Jim shook his head. The last thing Jim wanted to do was look Spock in the eyes at that moment because he knew that Spock would recognize what he would see. But then any defense that Jim might have had was blown when Spock spoke one word in a voice of silk, so soft and deep it made Jim shiver. 

“Please,” was all he said. But Jim was helpless. He looked up into Spock’s eyes. Jim’s eyes, normally cerulean, were glowing a shade of chartreuse as they looked into Spock's brown ones. Spock stood, not moving, his head cocked slightly to the left, right brow raised. “You are distressed,” he stated simply.

“Obviously.” Jim huffed resigned. “What else did you pick up when you grabbed my wrist?”

“Self-destructive, negative emotions, that one should not indulge in.”

That made Jim start to laugh. When Spock looked at him quizzically, Jim laughed even harder. 

Spock could have told him it took him exactly 73.452 seconds to catch his breath. 

Once he did he informed Spock, “that's just being illogically over-emotional Commander.” 

Spock's right eyebrow disappeared beneath his bangs, as Jim continued to laugh grateful for the break in the emotional tension. “I do not understand why one would indulge in those emotions, even if one is being illogical. It is self-destructive,” as he spoke, Spock's brows creased in the center and his lips were almost down turned in the corners in a frown.

Looking at Spock's expression made Jim's laugh calm a bit as he said, “Commander I don't think I could even attempt to explain it to you. I don't think anyone really wants to indulge in negative emotions, they just happen to us. Sometimes it's because of associations with things that have happened in the past. Sometimes it's because we're confused or conflicted about something happening around us. Right now, I'm in an environment I'm pretty much unfamiliar with. It's the first time in my life I've spent this much time without my mother around full humans and it's not easy. But, I've never been one to pass up on a challenge, like I told you before.”

Jim realized they have reached his building. “Well Commander, looks like I'm here. Thanks for the company.” As he said that he realized that he was finally relaxed enough to give Spock a genuine smile, that Jim Kirk smile that brightened the night. “Good night Commander.”

Spock was momentarily caught by the brilliance of his smile and the fact that his eyes have once again returned to their natural blue. “Good night Cadet.” That smile, it made him feel something he couldn’t identify. That would require meditation. Spock realized at that moment that whenever he had encountered Cadet Kirk he always required extensive meditation afterward.

When Jim entered the apartment he was grateful it was still unoccupied by McCoy who would throw a fit if he had come back while the poker table was still in the middle of the room. As he put things away from the game and he couldn't help but think back on his walk with Spock and realized he needs some serious meditation time.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please leave a comment or review!   
> And, Thanks for reading!!


	6. Enough is Enough

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Spock will no longer tolerate Jim's avoidance.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> My thanks to my readers and special thanks to Trekkergurl for re-Beta-ing the chapter!
> 
> I do not own Star Trek (sob) if I did, I would be ridiculously rich and I would make sure I met all of the actors (both sets) personally!

Chapter 6 - Enough is Enough

McCoy was in a really bad mood. Jocylen was absolutely refusing to let him spend any time during the holidays with their daughter, Joanna. As soon as Jim walked into the apartment he felt it. He had to remember that his friend wasn't used to the fact that his roommate was an empath, so before he would do anything overt, such as let Bones know that he was aware of the emotions in a room when he entered, he would walk softly. He would just act like he was clueless.

"Hi honey, I'm home." Jim chimed because he knew, even in their short acquaintance, that in order to get personal stuff out of McCoy he would have to needle it out of him.

"Why do you have to be so goddamned cheerful all the time?" McCoy growled, staring straight ahead, at absolutely nothing. 

Jim did a quick emotional survey of his friend and found anger, but that was overtopped by an oppressive sadness.

"Anyway, can't you see I'm tryin’ to concentrate?" McCoy barked. There was a bottle of Wild Turkey 101 sitting on the coffee table, a glass of whiskey in his hand, which sat loosely on his lap and no padds in sight. 

"Concentrating pretty hard on that whiskey eh, Bones." Jim retrieved a glass from the kitchen then gently sat next to his grumpy friend. "Got enough to share?"

McCoy cocked his head in the direction of the bottle; Jim poured some for himself, and took a seat next to Bones on the sofa. After taking a drink, Jim looked at his friend, smirked and, doing his best Bugs Bunny imitation said "so, what's up Doc?" 

McCoy gave him a stink eye and grumbled, "kid, try that one again and I'll kill ya. And I have lots of ways to do it that won’t leave a trace!" He took a big swallow of booze and poured himself some more. 

He slumped, defeated as he continued, "talked to the god damned she devil Jocelyn today 'n she's refusing to let me visit with Joanna over Christmas." 

"That really sucks Bones," Jim said allowing his feelings of sympathy and caring out for his friend to feel, or not. 

Jim had recently developed a theory about projective empathy: that the only way to project emotions was through telekinesis. The more he had thought about it the more he was pretty sure he had done it before, unconsciously. He was pretty certain that T’remel, his Shanquat, had told him that he was not a projective empath simply to protect other people from him, until such a time as he was in complete control of his telekinesis. For the moment, he hoped it was something he could develop and refine. It might be tool for him in the future. 

Jim turned so that he faced Bones and put a hand on his shoulder. McCoy let out a breath he didn't realize he was holding and started to relax. Jim scrunched his eyes together thinking for a second before he said, "isn’t there anything you can do? I thought you had a special arrangement that would allow for you to see her on holidays whenever you were planet-side?"

McCoy nodded to him, looking into his glass. Then he shook his head, as if to deny something, maybe everything, before he said, "that's the shit kicker Jimmy. We do have an arrangement for me to see Joanna on holidays, but the she-devil won't let her sit still long enough for me to be with her for my permitted allowance of 12 hours during the entire time we are on break!" With that he threw back the rest of his whiskey.

A plan began to formulate in Jim's mind. "Bones, Starfleet has to have some kind of legal department for cadets. You're already a surgeon you just need to get your Starfleet training. You're a commodity. Let's get in touch with the legal department tomorrow OK?"

McCoy shrugged, and said, "I got nothin' else to try, might as well."

The next day they were directed to one of those square utilitarian buildings from right after the earthquake in 2197, it was ugly, really ugly. A very proper Andorian woman was sitting at the front desk. When they told her their business she pushed a couple of buttons and said, "second floor, turn left out of the elevator then the 3rd door on the right; you will be seeing Areel Shaw."

Jim swallowed hard as he followed Bones to the elevator. Before they entered, he pulled his friend aside. McCoy was taken aback just by how out of character Jim looked; he was pale and sweating. "Um, Bones, look, if this Areel Shaw is the same one as I know, you might want to talk to her yourself."

"What the fuck is this Jim? You're pale as a damn ghost! What's goin' on?" McCoy was pissed. Kirk dragged him over here and now he wanted to abandon him to some shark of a lawyer!

Jim's head was spinning. He couldn’t stop thinking, ‘What if it really is her? Fuck. I never thought that would come back to bite me in the ass after all these years. Christ, it was a prank and we were kids!’

"Look Bones, when I was in 2nd grade I played a prank on this girl named Areel Shaw. It wasn't very nice, I'll give you the details later. You have your papers, you know your rights, she'll be able to help you. Just do not mention me. If she's my age it could be the same person." Jim was feeling extremely self-conscious and was ringing his hands and trying to find the best dust motes on the floor. It wasn’t something he was accustomed to feeling, but, if this was who he thought it was, he had been a real ass toward her. But then again, he was only seven at the time.

"So she's the one you got kicked out of elementary school because of, eh?" McCoy looked at Jim with a raised eyebrow knowing having this knowledge would surprise his friend.

"How the fuck do you know that?" Jim was staring at him with narrowed eyes. He was pissed and he was afraid, that his private information wasn't as private as he thought it was. There was some stuff in there no one should be permitted to see.

"When I decided to be your personal physician Jim, I was able to get your background. Don't worry, it's not information available to anyone else. Since you've got a few nasty health quirks from being born premature and in space, I asked Pike and he gave me access. Pretty interesting reading," McCoy replied, as if Jim wasn’t standing in front of him looking like a cornered animal.

Jim felt like someone just dumped a bucket of ice on his head. His blood went cold in his veins, "all of it?" He growled in a whisper. His eyes were glowing red, he was furious. "Everything. Are you telling me You. Know EVERYTHING!" It started as a flat hiss and became more intense with each word until the last couple were being spit out between gritted teeth.

Unconsciously McCoy stepped back. In the three months he had known Jim he had never seen him like this and it was pretty damn scary. "Um, uh, Jim, take it easy, the only portion available was the medical. There is a large part of the file dealing with Tarsus IV that is sealed.” He could see Jim take a deep breath and his eyes were starting to return to their natural blue. He sighed before he continued, “look Jim, if you ever want to talk about it, I'll listen. I may have been an asshole xenophobe when we first met, but I'm OK now. I accept you for what and who you are. I didn’t run away just now when your eyes turned all red and you freaked the fuck out looked like you wanted to take my head off.” He closed the gap between them and slapped Jim on the shoulder, looked into his eyes and smiled as he said, “kid, let me tell you, you looked pretty God damn scary!”

Jim gave a little laugh, but he was still tense. He waved his hands in surrender and said, "alright, do you want me to come in with you or not?"

"Yeah, I want ya to come with me. If I have rights, then I have rights and you shouldn't matter," McCoy was emphatic. He really wanted to see this Areel Shaw’s reaction to Jim. In his on teasing way he was laughing inside watching his friend squirm. 

They followed the directions to Shaws office. The sign on the door read:  
Areel Shaw, Starfleet Cadet Legal Department  
Enter

Jim really wanted to run the other way, but he followed his friend Bones through the door into a waiting area. There was an Orion female receptionist sitting at a medium sized faux oak desk. Thankfully, she was taking her pheromone represent. Decent oil paintings cover most of the space on the boring white walls. 

The receptionist looked up. "May I help you boys?" she said, blinking her eyes at them, being her natural seductive self. 

McCoy gave her his most winning smile, stating, "Leonard McCoy ma'am. I was sent to see Ms. Shaw about my issue. This here is my roommate who kind of pushed me to even come here." 

The receptionist, Ms. Vro, buzzed the inner office to announce them then ushered them inside.

There was a beautiful blond women sitting behind the desk that looked big enough to swallow her. She got up immediately and moved around the desk to greet the newcomers. As she was walking around she caught that it was Jim and froze. The look on her face went from a smile to serious in a flash. 

Jim realized he was screwed as she walked right up to him and got in his face. Even though the top of her head only came to his chin he felt like she was towering over him right at that moment. 

She looked at him with eyes that cold mostly green shade of blue that they could have come from the heart of a glacier. "Well, well, well, if it isn't Jimmy Kirk all grown up. When Captain Pike told me you were a cadet here. Hmm, I knew you'd be in here sooner or later. So what is it this time, have you been undressing the faculty?" As she spoke the laser sharpness of her voice grabbed his guilt and cut it open.

Jim actually felt himself cringing at her words. “Um, no actually, we're here for him," Jim said pointing to McCoy. "This is my roommate Leonard McCoy and he has an issue with his ex letting him see his daughter over the holidays. I thought maybe someone over here could help.” He mustered up his most sincere feelings and pushed them at her when he spoke, “look Areel, I'm really sorry about back then. It was a long time ago and I was a kid with an ability I didn’t understand how important it was to control. I don't do stuff like that anymore. Please, help my friend and don't hold it against him that he's my friend." Then he gave her his best wounded puppy dog look.

She gave him a long look before she shook her head and smiled. Areel nodded and said, "sure Jimmy, I'll take care of Leonard." Areel led them to a side area set like a living room with four chairs surrounding a coffee table. "Leonard would you mind explaining your..."

Her voice faded from Jim's mind as he cataloged her reaction and thought about how he had been thinking about putting all of his sincerity into what he was going to say. He wasn’t sure if he had projected it or not. It wasn’t something that was done without thinking, he was certain of that. But, then again, he may have been doing it for years without even being aware of it. That made his mind wonder to when he was working with young horses.

Jim's musings were sharply cut off by McCoy poking him in the ribs, and a happy Southern drawl, "did ya hear that? She can help me kid! She can help." 

Jim jumped when he was caught off guard by the elbow in the ribs. He was actually quite happy to see his normally grumpy friend actually looking happy for a change.

"Thanks Areel. It's really nice to see a smile on Bones face." Jim got up and reached out to shake her hand which she took freely.

"’Bones?’ Where did that come from?" She looked from one to the other.

McCoy was shaking his head looking at Jim, as Jim told her, "there are two things really, when we were on the shuttle from Riverside he told me that Jocelyn took everything but his bones and then there’s the old name for a surgeon ‘sawbones’. So, it stuck,” McCoy cuffed at him, and he ducked laughing, “well, at least for me."

Areel laughed, the light sparkling in her green eyes. McCoy found himself mesmerized by the sound. "Len I'll contact you in a couple of days after I've straightened things out for you. And Jimmy, you stay out of trouble!" They shake hands and she showed them out of the office.

Once they get outside of the building Jim said, "that went a lot better than I feared it would've." He was very relieved. 

He looked over at McCoy, who had a beatific smile on his face. Jim snorted thinking, ‘Shit, I know that look, Bones is smitten, with Areel Shaw of all people. I can't believe it. Talk about a ghost from the past. Should've guessed from her high and mighty attitude in second grade she would be a lawyer.’ 

If McCoy hadn't been in lala land he might have noticed that Jim was laughing his ass off to himself. 

OoO

For the past six weeks Jim had been avoiding Commander Spock outside of instruction. He was totally unaware that his tactic was failing spectacularly because said commander was becoming quite tired of being avoided. It had become obvious to him that Kirk was a very complicated individual. And there was something about the blond cadet that Spock found… compelling. Spock had certain suspicions about Kirk he would like to confirm, but it would take prolonged contact. So, he devised a plan.

Meanwhile, Jim had watched as Spock spent more of his free time with Uhura. He figured that would be a good thing for them. They can get married and have little pointy eared babies. He should have been happy for both of them. But he kept feeling jealous and he found himself with this weird feeling like he needed to protect Spock. And what the fuck was that all about anyway, Spock was a big boy, he was also a big, tall Vulcan and could protect himself, couldn’t he?

After spending weeks meditating on the subject and finding that didn't help clear up his inner conflicts Jim put in a comm to his mother. Winona's ship was local so the comm went through very quickly.

"Jimmy, my dearest baby," Winona touched her lips with her first two fingers bringing them to her heart while Jim touched his to his lips and forehead in greeting.

"Hi Mom. I miss you so much I can't express it over the comm link." Jim sat slouched. Not his usual posture.

"I feel the same Jimmy. How are you doing?" Winona was thinking that she was going to have to watch him carefully. She didn’t like that slouch. 

"Well, remember I told you about that Vulcan instructor Commander Spock and that I thought I was spontaneously bonding with him?" He began fidgeting; picking at his fingers, or an invisible piece of lint on his clothes and not really sitting still. 

"Sure Jimmy, how could I forget that. What's going on?" Winona was certain by that point that he was upset. Fidgeting? Jim did not fidget. What was going on?

"Mom I'm certain that I'm bonding with him. Not only do I feel the empathic pull whenever I'm with him, I am having constant physical reactions to him as well. Not as strong as at first, but I feel a strong pull towards him throughout my body; a yearning. But it can't happen." He sighed, obviously upset now, his eyes are glowing with strong emotion. "Mom, I've gotta break this bond. I've tried and I can't."

Winona was surprised by Jim's statement. "Whoa there Jimmy, slow down. Take a deep breath and think. First of all, and you know this it is impossible for an empathic bond to be one sided." She could see him getting ready to object. 

"Jim!" she said sharply to get his attention. "Listen to me. You lived with Veenan's most of your life. I don't like to have to remind you of painful memories, but your adolescent bonds with your early partners on and around Tarsus, Kevin & Carol were both of you. My bond with your father was both of us. I can't stress that enough. You have experienced those bonds. They were easily broken because of their nature. I could have broken the bond with your father if I had ever wanted to, but I never wanted to. This type of bond takes time to forge."

"However, the type of bond you are speaking of is a legend among our people. The Amana, the twining of souls. It is a sacred thing. There are stories from the old times of Amana bonds, where people were destined to be together. Their souls would be drawn together and they would be connected upon their initial meeting. But there have been none recorded for hundreds of years. It is always possible that they occurred and no one knew. You couldn't break that type of bond and you wouldn't want to. Do you understand?" She held up a hand to forestall the objection she can see forming on his face. "If you are truly Ama (twined soul) to this man, you should consider yourself blessed!

"Jimmy, Jimmy, Jimmy. I can see confusion written all over your face and I want nothing more than to take you into my arms and hold you. Let me ask you something, how do you feel about this man?" Winona felt like she was pulling his teeth out with pliers and no anesthesia. 

"Everything about me is drawn to him Mom. Whenever I am close to him I have to be conscious of the blood flow in my body to keep from getting an erection. I feel possessive, like he should be mine, everybody else keep your hands off. I've only known him for a couple of months. I can't be in his presence any longer than is required by classes or I feel like I do something I shouldn't. He is the most beautiful being I have ever seen. Is that enough of a barring of my soul for you?" He finished with a huff, his eyes were definitely glowing green, and he was twisting his hands.

Winona had not seen her son that upset in several years. "Have you ever come into physical contact with him, a simple touch?" She was pretty sure she knew exactly what he was going to say because she felt the same sparks when she and George first bonded.

"Yeah, it was like a static electric shock. We both felt it. What does that mean?" he asked afraid he had already guessed the answer.

She smiled at him, "my baby, I believe that you may have yourself a very special life ahead of you. That spark was a sign of a deep bond. You must speak with him. He is probably very aware that there is something between you. Yet being Vulcan he is going to be reserved."

"Mom, he has invited me to spar with him, hand to hand. I don't…"

Jim was cut off by the laughter coming from his mother, "Jimmy, would you listen to yourself. Your stoic Vulcan Commander invited you to spar hand to hand with him." She looked at him suggestively, hoping he would get the hint. She couldn’t believe that he would really be that dense.

"Yeah Mom, that's what I'm afraid of. I've been avoiding the issue." Jim said hanging his head.

"What, afraid that he feels the same way you do? Jimmy, he knows as well as you do that there will be physical contact between the two of you if you spar. Do you think that it might have been an ulterior motive for his asking? A Vulcan, a touch telepath?" As she thought to herself, ‘Come on son, take the hint. You'll be a lot happier if you do.’

"I understand what you're saying and no I didn't think about the possibility of an ulterior motive before. Anymore, when I'm around him, I have to keep my concentration on things other than his body language, or even anything outside of class just trying to suppress how I feel." Jim said forlornly. "I'll seriously think about everything we talked about here tonight Mom."

"Good baby, I'm glad to hear that." Winona gave her youngest son a warm smile, "I can see you're feeling better. Are you OK now?"

"I'm good for now Mom. I love you." Jim smiled at his mother. "Hey are you, by any chance going to make it to Earth for the holidays?"

Winona returned his smile shaking her head, "I don't think I'll be able to make it home until March Jimmy, I'm sorry. I love you my baby." Her door buzzer went off. " I have to go Jimmy. I'll be in touch soon. Goodnight." Abruptly, she cut the comm.

OoO

The following Sunday afternoon found Jim sparing with the four guys he fought, aka, Cupcake and friends. Cupcake, aka, Giotto had developed a grudging respect for Jim after getting his ass handed to him so, he asked Jim to show him and his friends some of his moves. Jim was so taken aback by being asked, he agreed. Because the room they were using was generally used for advanced hand to hand training there were windows on two sides for observation. The other two walls had mats all the way up to the ceiling. The windows were made of the same transparent aluminum as the windows on a spaceship because it had been found, by trial and error, that some species could easily break so called ‘unbreakable’ glass.

Spock was very aware that Jim had booked the advanced hand to hand combat training room to train some security cadets in some moves he uses. It was his plan to meet Jim there and spar with him. 

Over the past five weeks, six days, eighteen hours, twenty seven minutes and seven point one, two, six seconds, while Jim had been studiously avoiding Spock, Spock had begun covertly observing him in any way he possibly could. No one else had handled his chess set since and he just yesterday he caught himself trying to catch a whiff of Jim’s scent from one of the pieces. He needed to push the issue.

So Spock found himself standing outside of the room watching Jim train. As he instructed the other four in various moves Spock observed how gracefully & fluidly he moved. His chest was bare, glistening with a sheen of sweat and Spock could see the muscles moving fluidly under his skin; he was beautiful. Spock found himself fascinated with the view before him.

Spock moved to the exit and watched. He made sure he was visible. 

Even with the four opponents Jim was still aware enough of his environment to notice the arrival of a watcher in black at the exit. He stopped the action and turned to see who had arrived. It was Spock. For several seconds he forgot to breathe. Then he turned to Giotto and said, "same time next week Sam?" 

"Yeah, Kirk, sounds good. Come on guys, I think the Commander has something to say to little Jimmy." Giotto continued to try to get Jim to react to his gibe.

However, Jim's attention was on only one person in the room, Commander Spock. It was a good thing he was already sweating because, to Jim it felt like the temperature in the room had increased by 5 degrees C. Unconsciously, his breathing becomes deeper and faster. He found himself feeling like a virgin again and bit his lower lip.

Spock quietly observed as Kirk held his breath and then his skin flushing brighter. He found himself feeling smug at being able to elicit such a reaction just by being here.

When Jim found his breath all he could say was, "oh, hi there Commander, I don't suppose you'd want to spar now would you?" 

"That would be agreeable," Spock stated as he walked into the room. He was wearing a skin tight black workout outfit. "I will attempt not to injure you." 

Unconsciously Jim licked his lips; he found the sight before him to be absolutely delicious. This was going to be fun! He just hoped he could properly concentrate on the fight. 

"I know you're fast Vulcan, I'm gonna stay outta your way," Jim said tauntingly, gesturing at Spock, "come on, let's do this."

Spock moves with lightning speed to hit Jim in his right shoulder, but Jim ducked smoothly out of the way while delivering a hit to Spock's stomach on the way. Spock was surprised as he spun right and swept his leg to trip Jim who jumped over it while hitting Spock in the back. 

They danced that way for a while, swapping the occasional hit, before Spock fainted one way but twisting the other finally enabled him to sweep Jim's legs out from under him, pinning him to the ground. Spock made sure that his arms are also pinned; one next to his body and one between them. The full body contact was electric to both of them. 

When Spock’s body came into contact with Jim’s he received the answer that he had been looking for when his body became immediately aroused. It felt instinctual to Spock to put his nose at the junction of Jim's neck and collar bone and take a deep, open mouthed sniff savoring the scent. That act caused a shiver to run down Jim's back. 

Spock pulled back and looked down into Jim’s eyes. Spock's own pupils were blown open and Jim's eyes which were now lighted from within, glowing brightly blue in the small discs of irises surrounding his dark pupils, their erect cocks trapped between them. Spock bent his head down and licked Jim's sweat in a trail from his heart, up his neck over his pulsing artery to his right ear. Jim's irises went from blue to white, showing very strong emotions of love and lust. 

Jim moaned, "Spock" and tried to buck upward. He struggled to get his arms free to no avail.

Spock’s eyes bore into his as he said, "you have been avoiding me James. I will not have it. I will have you, as you will have me." With that he let go of Jim's arms. 

Jim immediately reached up and began to caress Spock's face; he traced his eyebrows with one hand while running the fingers of his other hand across Spock's lips. Spock closed his eyes at the touch, then pulled his head down into a passionate kiss. 

Spock pulled back breathlessly. "We cannot continue here, it is too public. There are also issues we must discuss if we are to become involved in a romantic relationship." He stood looking only somewhat disheveled, except for the obvious bulge in his workout pants. He reached out a hand to help Jim up.

Jim used Spock's hand to pull himself in tight, whispering huskily into his pointed ear, "only your place will do Commander." He reached up and smoothed Spock's hair back into place. Jim threw on his tee shirt as he followed close behind Spock and on to his destiny.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please, review. I really want to know what people think of this chapter. Thanks! Ruby


	7. Enough is Enough

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Spock has had enough of Jim prevaricating.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Standard disclaimer: I don't own Star Trek or make a penny on this
> 
> Warning: This chapter contains mentions of violence, rape, murder, and other potentially icky things. Don't like it don't read it.
> 
> We finally find out about what actually happened on Tarsus. 
> 
> Thanks to everyone who reads this story.
> 
> Special thanks to those who have left kudos, comments and to everyone who has bookmarked!! 
> 
> This chapter did not have a beta so all mistakes are mine. It is a rewrite of the original.
> 
> Most of all, my apologies for taking so long to get this up for you.

Chapter 7 – Enough is Enough

 

As soon as they entered Spock’s apartment and the privacy locks were engaged Jim put up a hand in the universal stop sign. "Can we sit down please? I've got a couple of important things to say before anything else happens between us."

 

Spock led them into his living area and asked, "would you like some tea James?" Jim found that every time Spock said his formal name it gave him a thrill.

 

"Yea, that would be really nice, thanks." Jim took a long look around and noticed that among some of the ubiquitous Starfleet artwork were various cool looking artifacts from Vulcan and to his astonishment a bookshelf of genuine books, some even appeared to be leather bound.

 

When Spock returned to the room a several minutes later with the tea he found Jim perusing his book collection. "Wow, Spock, real books. My dad had quite a collection of real books. I have a few of them still. Nothing like reading a good old fashioned book."

 

A spicy smell from the tea permeated the air as Spock poured two mugs. Jim sat on the opposite side of the coffee table from Spock on the cushy black synth-hyde sofa; as far away as the small room would allow. He took a sip of his tea and said, "this is interesting tea, I like it." He was prevaricating and he knew it.

 

"It is Vulcan spice tea," Spock said flatly. His voice betrayed nothing of the emotional turmoil he felt. Jim’s presence had been tearing at his control since he met him and he wanted to know why.

 

Jim could feel Spock’s emotions that were so out of character with the flatness of his voice. It caused him to snort before he spoke, "Look, Spock, I don't know how much you know about Veenan’s. It's known that we need an empathic bond with someone to have any kind of romantic relationship. Most of the time those bonds take time to build and emotional input from both partners. Not us. There was something between us from the moment we met. It scared me and it's why I've been avoiding you."

 

Taking a deep breath, he looked at Spock and thought he saw a touch of pain in those deep brown eyes. He took another deep breath and slowly let it out while looking down at his hands. "We are forming a bond that goes very deep Spock, without our even trying or without our knowledge, at least on the surface level. It seems at another level there is acknowledgment that we are consciously unaware of. It is a permanent thing Spock. It will be unbreakable. It is already unbreakable. I've tried to break it, but I can't." His eyes dropped further to the floor, feeling deeply ashamed.  
 

The movement didn’t even register but suddenly Spock was at his side, lifting his chin so they would have eye contact. Although Spock was ready for the shock, it was still electrifying. They both felt it throughout their entire bodies. Neither did they need the eye contact to confirm the others emotions. Jim could feel Spock’s acceptance and love, even some humor; Spock can feel Jim’s shame but beyond that, his love. 

 

"What are you ashamed of James?" Spock’s deep voice was quiet. At the moment his biggest concern was to keep Jim calm and not let the simmering emotional volcano, he could sense just below the surface, erupt.

 

"You should not be bound to me Spock. I am broken. You don't know what I am. I've done horrible things. You should be able to be bound to someone like Uhura." Jim said in almost a whisper. His emotions were strong, yet mixed. The glow of his eyes switched back and forth between greenish and bluish, not settling on either. Jim tried to look anywhere but into Spock’s eyes but found he could not. He didn’t even realize his eyes had filled until Spock began to blur. He blinked hard a couple of times to dislodge the tears. Finally managed to break eye contact and look at his hands. "You belong with someone better than me,” he said sounding defeated.

 

"James, you are correct that I am not aware of the event in your past of which you are so ashamed. Point of fact we have only known each other for 14 weeks 6 days 12 hours and 27 minutes. However, my katra was drawn to you when I first looked in your in eyes.

 

"When I finally was old enough to realize how difficult it must have been for my mother to live on Vulcan and be bonded to a Vulcan, I questioned her, she told me that the heart does, what the heart does and there is nothing we can do to stop it. If, as you say, we have, without being consciously aware, become empathically bonded I must make you aware of what being bonded to a Vulcan entails." Spock took Jim’s hands, they both gasped and Jim finally met Spock’s eyes again. Just the contact with Spock’s hands has driven the green from Jims eyes, Spock wonders what Jims next reaction will be, however.

 

"I think I know," Jim whispered. He tried to pull his hands back because he was afraid, but Spock held onto them rubbing his thumbs in circles on the backs of Jims hands. No matter how much he wanted to pull away Jim found that very soothing. He spoke again, "you bond telepathically, right?"

 

Spock nodded, pleased at Jims perception. "Indeed, there are several levels of telepathic bonds. All Vulcans are bonded to one another at the lowest level we are not consciously even aware of. Then there are familial bonds with others of your blood. Then there are mating bonds, first a betrothal bond, which eventually becomes a mating bond. All Vulcan children are bonded at age 7."

 

Jim made the connection right away, and suddenly felt really stupid. He pulled back quickly and spoke, "okay, so you're already spoken for, what the fuck am I even doing here?" And he moved to get up to leave. Spock put a hand on his shoulder effectively preventing him from getting up.

 

"You _will_ listen." Spock had become visibly agitated, in that there was a fire in his eyes, being demanding and pushing Jim back into his seat on the sofa.

 

Jim found himself a little freaked out and turned on at the same time when Spock pushed him back down, natural blues eyes wide. He couldn’t wrap his mind around that and it left him feeling kind of numb.

 

"I do not have any feelings for T'Pring. The last I saw of her all she wanted from me was a title, land and to be married into the House of Surak. She has always treated me with disdain because of my human heritage and certainly does not want my children for the same reason. I do not wish to form a marriage with her, let alone one for my father for purely political purposes. The betrothal bond between us is extremely weak." Once Spock was done with his rant it was like he seemed to run out of steam, or a light was switched off.

 

Jim was in awe of how Spock could be having an angry rant one minute then shut down those emotions the next. "Sounds like you’re not very happy with your father."

 

"My father was not pleased when I turned down my acceptance to the Vulcan Science Academy to attend Starfleet. Initially he wanted to disown me, but my mother forbade it. She is a very formidable woman."

 

"Sounds like it," Jim said and smiled, “she sounds like my kind of woman.” Jim was glad he was sitting down when it hit him what Spock had just told him.

 

Jim broke out in a huge smile as he said, “So, um, Spock, let me guess, you turned down entrance to the most esteemed science institutions in the galaxy because they insulted your human half?"

 

"Indeed, they called my mother a handicap." Spock replied raising an eyebrow in amusement, nodding once.

 

Jim gave him a spontaneous hug, "that is so cool. What is it about being half human that makes us less in the eyes of the full breeds? The humans never understood me, they don't understand you. Vulcans treat you like you’re a freak. The Veenan’s haven't been so bad to me but not everyone was accepting. Some people actually ostracized my mother’s entire clan for marrying my father and having the audacity to have children."

 

Jim was/would never be ready for the most painful rejection of them all when Spock saw the shit locked away inside his head. It was time. Taking another deep breath and letting it out slowly he squinted at Spock before hs swallowed and spoke, "Spock, look, you're gonna see some really ugly shit inside my head and I doubt you'll even want to know me once you see it." Jim immediately waved off Spock’s attempt to object with a self-deprecating eyebrow.

 

Taking Spock’s right hand and putting it on his face Jim said, "so why don't you just look. It'll be easier on me than explaining it, trust me."

 

"You are certain?" Spock questioned, waiting for Jim to nod before he places his fingers to Jim’s psi points. "My mind to your mind," Jim joined him in saying, "my thoughts to your thoughts.."

 

_The mental landscape was like a bright sunlit day on Earth. Spock didn't recognize where. There was a starship being built in the distance._

 

_"It's Riverside Iowa, the Kirk family farm. That's the Enterprise they're building over there." Taking Spock’s hand in his, Jim walked to a very dilapidated looking building that appeared totally out of place among the other buildings._

 

_"The bad shit's locked in there." He walked up to a data padd attached to the building and entered a twenty key code and his hand print before the door clicked open._

 

_They stepped into a room that dissolved around them into an open landscape. It was a farming community on with mountains in the background. It was summer an adolescent Jim was playing with his friends. "This is Tarsus IV before it got bad," he said._

 

[blink]

 

_It was early the following summer. Winter grain crops had been attacked by a fungus and either failed or what was able to be salvaged could be tainted with aflatoxins; famine had set in. Half of the population had been systematically butchered by the planetary governor to make room for his chosen half. Jim found himself on the run with twelve children out of the original twenty eight. He had been charged with protecting them and he had been unable to. Images of those he had been unable to save were seared onto his mind…_

 

[blink]

 

_It was autumn. Jim had been captured. He was so thin that he looked like a skeleton with skin stretched over it. Kodos wanted him for a bed slave. He liked Jim’s pretty eyes. Jim refused to submit and was sent to be broken. For a week he was tortured with whips, solitary confinement, hanging by his arms and food just out of reach. He still would not submit. Kodos ordered his torturers to change tactics. He was stripped of his remaining rags, chained to the wall spread eagle with a small table barely supporting his hips. Then repeatedly raped him until he broke in a way they did not expect. He saw red…_

 

_…Jim’s world was enveloped in a red/violet haze… with a thought he broke the chains and was free… the man who was in the process of raping him flew back and was impaled on a pike of a guard who began to run only to fall down dead… he does not notice the wrist and ankle chuffs that remained attached, nor did he notice that he was naked and bleeding freely from the whip slashes on his back only to mix with the blood and semen of the rapists when it reached his legs… any person who he saw in Kodos uniform was greeted with a fist and they died… he walked until he reached Kodos residence and after taking care of his guards stalked into the room and ripped Kodos apart._

 

Spock heard a roar and felt himself flung from Jim’s mind. It felt as though he had been thrown, physically across the room.

 

The roaring didn’t stop. It took a second to reorient himself and realize it was Jim yelling "NOOOOOO" which dropped into a horrid croon of "no no no no nooo no."

 

Vulcan instinct told Spock to protect himself from the strong emotions Jim was projecting but the empathic bond they shared would not allow him to do so. He knew exactly what Jim needed at that moment and he grabbed him by the upper arms and shook him. Jim stopped crooning upon the contact and began to relax, so Spock pulled him into an embrace. 

 

The first thing Jim realized as he came back to reality was that he felt safe and loved. Next thing was he felt the warm arms surrounding him and the baritone voice whispering Vulcan words. He was again alone in his mind but he sensed Spock’s emotions. Where Jim had expected to find pity and disgust instead he found love and a profound respect.

 

Jim pulled back and looked with wonder at his Ama. If Spock could see those things inside his head and not go running away screaming, everything could work out. When he first looked at Spock his eyes were glowing chartreuse, but they quickly changed to a light blue when he saw the small smile on Spock’s face; one he realized would only be seen by him.

 

Spock wiped a tear off of Jim’s cheek, "I am still here ashaya. I will not leave you. Kaiidth. What is, is. Circumstances were extraordinary do not berate yourself."

 

Jim leaned into the touch, "I can't believe you saw all that stuff and can even allow me to be in your sight. Vulcans are non-violent, you don't even eat meat, for christ sake. Yet you accept the fact that I murdered fifty people with my mind."

 

To ensure his point was made Spock held Jim’s chin to make sure he looked him in the eye as he said, "T'hy'la, you were thirteen years old and pushed to a point where self-preservation over ruled reason. And you had abilities no one counted on." He paused to let that sink in before he continued, "James, when you are captain of a starship you will surely issue orders that will result in the deaths of more than fifty people in battle. People will die on missions, you may even have to order people to go on missions that would almost certainly result in their deaths. You cannot hold onto that guilt, you cannot save everyone James."

 

Jim rolled his eyes and took a really deep, cleansing breath, exhaling very slowly before speaking, "I know, I know." He took another deep breath before he continued, "that's why T’remel, the Shanquat that worked with me had me lock up those memories like that. After we got my TK back under control we examined what happened. He helped me build that shack then we put all the memories in there with all the guilt and pain and locked it up. A pretty simplistic explanation for something that took almost two years. Right now it's wide open and bleeding. I need to get it closed and I'm already tired." Jim closed his eyes and leaned into his companion.

 

"I may be able to assist in that endeavor," Spock said softly.

 

Jim’s head popped up immediately with a hopeful smile on his face, "really?" he asked.

 

Spock nodded once then spoke, "if we meld once more I should be able to lend you the strength you need."

 

Jim took Spock’s hand and held it up to his face saying, "let's do it before I decide I'm never looking at that mess again."

 

_They were once again on the farm in Iowa. Instead of a sunny day they were greeted with roiling storm clouds in various shades of gray._

 

_The only illumination was provided by continuously flashing lightning. However, it was eerily quiet; there was no sound of thunder, no sound of the wind whipping the trees, nothing. The shed was more dilapidated than before. The door had fallen off and there were bodies scattered in front of it in a sea of blood which was oozing out of the door as it would from a wound. The wind blew in their direction and brought along the strong aroma of death and corruption._

 

_Jim reached out and took Spock’s hand. "I'm glad you're here with me," he said, giving him a grim smile as they walked toward the mess._

 

_The wind blew harder and tried to push them back. Jim gripped Spock’s hand harder in heavy concentration and he could feel Jim tap into his energy fields. Spock felt a strong push from Jim and there was a flash of golden light and the wind that was pushing against them was gone._

 

[blink]

 

_Moving without moving they found themselves in front of the shack amonst the piled bodies of Kodos soldiers._

 

_Still holding Spock’s hand, Jim closed his eyes and concentrated on getting the bodies back inside. Spock felt Jim tapping even deeper into his energy fields; he allowed him free access to all he needed._

 

_Spock watched as a golden glow began to form around all the blood and bodies. He felt as Jim pulled even more energy from him and watched as the glow brightened. Finally, the entire mass began to move into the opening, slowly. Spock only observed, cataloging telekinesis from an internal perspective assisting the only way he could._

 

_Slowly the bodies and blood were pushed back inside the shack. At the same time the storm was breaking up. Spock found the heat of the sun welcome. Spock was becoming drained so he knew that Jim was even more drained._

 

_Once that was finished Jim gave Spock a tired smile saying, "Thanks. Now, the door and the locks will be easy since we can do most of it physically." Jim walked over to the door laying on the ground close to the opening. "You grab the other side and we'll stand it up," he said, as they placed the door over the opening of the building. Jim paused briefly, concentrating; As Spock watched the hinges and locking mechanisms reattach. Jim then took a minute to check his locking codes to make sure they are set. Finally he nodded to Spock and said, "all done."_

 

Jim opened his eyes into slits and said, "Thanks Spock, I couldn't have done it without that extra energy." His head then dropped against Spock’s chest as he fell asleep instantly.

 

Spock moved Jim and he was so out of it he didn’t even notice the shift as Spock laid him out on the sofa. He then moved into his kitchen and made a tray with, granola, almond milk and fruit to replace their drained resources. He also made a pot of bitter Vulcan herbal tea he was taught to drink after doing telepathic work, with honey added for the sugars.

 

When he returned Jim was sitting up, disoriented. Looking at Spock he said, "I could feel that you left." His eyes brighten immediately at the sight of the tray. Jim’s stomach picked that moment to let itself be known by growling. He giggled and said, "ooooh, food, I'm ravenous."

 

Spock’s response was a raised eyebrow and an offer of a cereal bowl. They ate in silence consuming every piece of fruit and half the cereal. Jim grimaced at the taste of the tea, even sweetened he found it tasted foul, especially after the fruit. Noticing Jim’s reaction to the tea Spock told him, "drink the tea James, it will help with the rebuilding of our depleted psi centers."

 

“Yes Mother,” Jim said as he wrinkled his nose and downed his tea.

 

Jim waited for Spock to Spock’s typical reaction to an idiom he didn't understand but he was disappointed. "You got that one," he said pausing so Spock can nod. When he did Jim responded with a laughing, "hmm, I'm gonna have to work harder."

 

Spock raised an amused eyebrow and explained, “My mother did not get ill very frequently. However, there was an incident when I was ten when she had the Rigellian flu and was quite ill. At times I was required to attend her and give her medication. The first time I insisted she do something and she said yes mother to me I was very confused until she explained. Therefore, I did get it.”

 

Jim cracked up laughing, and between guffaws he said, "she was giving you human training."

 

"Indeed. I believe that she has been doing that all my life," Spock said looking at his fellow half human; his T'hy'la and wanted to take him into his arms and make love to him right then. However, he realized how exhausted he was. As if in answer to that though, Jim began to sag.

 

He took Jim’s hand, startling him and saying, "I believe showers and sleep are in order." Standing he pulled Jim up with and off him into the sonics and onto bed.

 

Spock finds himself brought to wakefulness by the tip sensation of his right ear being nibbled and sucked. He and Jim are laying in almost exactly the same places where they crawled under the covers, after showering the night before. Spock was laying on his back and Jim was draped across Spocks right side. Only instead of his head on Spock’s chest he was slowly trailing teasing butterfly kisses and soft nips down from Spock’s ear down his stubbled jaw, up to his lips. Jim pulled gently on Spock’s lower lip with his teeth, looking into hungry chocolate brown eyes. "Mornin' lover," his said, descending into a kiss and a slow tangle of tongues.

 

As Jim came up for air Spock noticed his eyes were glowing white, full of the emotion he felt through the full body contact; a very heady feeling for both of them. With anyone else Spock would have fought to maintain control, but not with Jim, his T'hy'la. Here, with Jim, he had no need to control his rising emotions, so he let them go.

 

Jims breath hitched as the full force of Spock’s emotions hit him. He found that they were his own emotions being reflected back at him. As they tease with lips, tongues and fingers they grind their bodies together. The moment their erections touch their passions flare and their souls were freed from their bodies to weave together as the both the T’hy’la and Amana bonds strive for completion.

 

From their perspective they see threads: Spock’s main thread was silver surrounded by desert duns and flaming reds and oranges; Jim’s main thread was gold surrounded by the greens, blues and browns of water worlds. As they touched each other the thread wove together; each thread sliding over one another as each body slid over the other setting their nerve endings on fire.

 

Slowly they make love and as they do the threads became woven into one, vast, inseparable rope. It was intensely erotic and when the rope was finished they both were brought fully back to the physical plain by the white out ecstasy of their orgasms.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I wanted the scene here to be more about the formation of the bond than the actual sex. There will be other future chapters that spell out the sex.
> 
> Let me know what you think in a review.
> 
> Thanks!!!


	8. Actions Have Consequences

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Edited version from FF.net to reflect upcoming events there are slight changes in Pike's orders.

Christopher Pike took one look at the pair that entered his office and buzzed his assistant. Looking them both up and down he said, "Dianne, hold all calls, up to and including god."

 

He led Commander Spock and Cadet Kirk into his office thinking it had to be a pretty serious disciplinary action if Spock needed to bring Kirk here himself. 

 

After the younger men were seated on the other side of his desk he said, "Well Kirk I really wasn't expecting trouble this soon son." He shook his head disappointedly.

 

Jim smirked and exchanged a look with Spock before saying, "Told ya he'd feel this way Spock."

 

_'Hold on, don't make assumptions here Chris',_ Pike thought as he took a more careful look at the body language.

 

Spock raised an amused eyebrow, glancing at Jim and replied, "You did indeed James.”

 

He then looked back to Pike.

 

Jim's gaze joined his. "It's not what you think Captain Pike."

 

Spock took over, speaking professionally, "Christopher, James must withdraw from my xenolinguistics class at this late time in the term and I wish to determine if there is a way for him to do so without adversely effecting his academic records."

 

Pike looked even more carefully back and forth between the two of them before finally drawing a conclusion. "Shit... you two are in a relationship."

 

Trying to be the clown to cover his nervousness Jim mouthed off, "Got it in one Captain!" Which earned him a raised eyebrow from Spock.

 

Pike ran his hand through his hair and shook his head before saying with a raised eyebrow of his own, "You couldn't have waited, could you."

 

However as he looked back and forth between them he realized they were both more balanced than they were the last time he had seen them. Too frequently he had seen Spock freeze whenever put in an emotional situation because he would be overwhelmed. And he couldn't think a young man more demonstrative with his emotions than Jim Kirk. Yet their Jim sat; nervous, yet outwardly quiet for the first time since Pike had known him and that had been many years.

 

With a sigh he said, "When did this start?"

 

"Yesterday.'" Jim responded.

 

"Yesterday." Pike repeated dryly looking at Jim. "Kirk, I think I just got about fifty new gray hairs thanks to you."

 

Jim decided on a smart, "You're welcome," for a reply, which earned him a scathing look from Pike.

 

Jim snorted a flippant, “Sorry,” in apology glancing at Spock briefly for support.  

 

"Look, to be honest, Chris, it started the first day of class, although I tried to deny what was happening. We formed a spontaneous empathic bond, which I didn't even know was possible until I talked to Mom. It drew us together." Jim nodded in Spock’s direction, "I don't know how long it would've been before I did or said anything, he was the one to force the issue."

 

Pike did not allow his eyes to widen or his to mouth fall open at this bombshell and looked questioningly at Spock. He had to clear his throat before he could say, "is this true?"

 

"It is," Spock made sure to add nothing more.

 

Jim had to work really hard not to laugh at the series of expressions that passed over Pikes face and at the same time the amusement coming from Spock through the bond.

 

Pike looked at Spock for several seconds as he realized that his first prize student, Spock had decided to take that moment in time to be stubborn. And over the time that he had worked with Spock he realized that whenever Spock had decided to be stubborn, he would have had better luck getting rocks to bleed.

 

He sighed and returned his attention to Jim, confusion written plainly on his face.

 

"Jim, I've known you're mother for a long time. Other Veenan’s as well. It was always my understanding that bonds took time to build. What's all this about a spontaneous bond? I’ve never heard of one," he said with a sigh.

 

"Look Captain Pike, I'm not going into details about our personal lives, but we _are_ empathically bonded, however, unlike most Veenan empathic bonds, this will only be severed if one of us dies." Jim paused, looking at Pike hoping he would accept his explanation. "If you want, we can have a Shanquat verify it."  

 

There was something niggling Pike about Spock and bonding so he looked his file up on his PADD while Jim talked. Yes, that was it, Spock had bonded at the age of 7 to a girl named T'Pring.

 

He put the PADD on the table and pushed it across to Spock who picked it up, took in the information with a glance and raised his right eyebrow. Jim felt the flash of irritation from Spock who passed him the PADD. Jim eyed it and nodded.

 

Pike watched their silent interchange and wondered what their future will bring. These were his two prize students and he had be sure that Spock understood about Jim's background. The last thing he wants is for either of these young men hurt because of personal details left out. Looking at Jim he asked quietly, "How much does he know?"

 

Jim, understanding immediately what Pike is asking about and that his only desire was to protect Spock, replied, “Everything about Tarsus Chris, absolutely everything.”

 

"Make sure to tell him the rest," Pike nodded in reply satisfied with Jim’s response.

 

Then looking at Spock, Pike asked the pertinent question. "What about this bond you have with T'Pring?"   

 

Spock’s irritation flared again making Jim look at him. "Spock chill, just tell him. He wants to protect me too. Just like when he wanted to know if you understood about me." Jim reached over and pulled Spock’s hand, which had become a fist on his lap, into his and intertwined their fingers.

 

Spock was finally moved to speak, "There is nothing between myself and T'Pring. She despises my human heritage. Our bond has all but disappeared since James and I bonded. As soon as I am able I intend to have that bond severed completely so that I can formally bond to James."

 

Pike nodded at that, the wheels in his clever brain spinning at all these two have imparted to him. Yet when those wheels mesh he found himself totally unsurprised by their news. It seemed, right. He closed his eyes for a moment and rubbed them and as he did he had a vision of the two of them at the helm of a Starship standing shoulder to shoulder: Kirk in command gold and Spock in science blues. He had to shake his head to dislodge the sight as he opened his eyes and gave the pair a long appraising gaze.

 

"Alright, I will see what I can do to get Jim out of the class so he doesn't have to fail. I don't want to see that on his record any more than either of you do, but it's pretty late in the term for a withdrawal. Also, we can't officially change your living conditions until summer when people graduate and new quarters become available. However, I'm sure that you'll make due."

 

He rolled his eyes when he saw the look that they give each other. For them he had momentarily vanished from the room. Pike had never seen Spock show emotion openly before. Before they could start undressing each other in his office he cleared his throat and got their attention back causing them both to blush.

 

Jim turned bright red and ducked his head before looking Pike in the eye.

 

Spock’s ears and cheeks flushed olive and he raised an eyebrow, meeting Pike’s eyes immediately.

 

Having regained their attention, Pike continued, "I'm sure I don't have to warn you not to compromise each-others work! As bondmates, under both Veenan and Vulcan law, you cannot be separated for more than a couple of months at a time during your service so you will be working together on the same posting, with the possibility of the occasional solo mission. However your behavior here at the academy will do quite a bit to determine that posting. Do you understand?"

 

"Yes Sir." They responded in unison, lightening the atmosphere.

 

Pike looked at them sternly, raising an eyebrow of his own before shaking his head and simply saying, "Dismissed."

 

Standing they realized that they were still holding hands which theey quickly disengaged to salute. Jim blushed, but Spock did not. Pike couldn’t help but find the scene endearing but he was smart enough to know not to allow himself to smile until he was alone.

 

Jim followed Spock out of the administrative building where Pike's office had been located into the beautiful San Francisco morning.

 

"Looks like Pike saw through us pretty quickly." Jim said looking at Spock who just kept walking, "But maybe that's because he knows both of us pretty well."

 

"That seems likely. However, it is concerning to me as well James." Spock says feeling the thrill Jim gets hearing him say his formal name. He does not understand and must ask him sometime.

 

"Well, all we can do for now is see how other people react," Jim said shrugging.

 

Spock gave him a single nod in agreement.

 

When they had almost reached the science building Jim said, "Listen Spock, tonight is a weekly poker game that's at my place this week and Bones won't be up to playing host, so it's up to me this week. And, since we really didn't get much sleep last night, I think I'll stay home tonight."

 

"That would be agreeable," Spock said with a nod and that tiny smile.

 

"Alright, see you tomorrow in class then,” Jim replied sending him love through the bond.

 

OoO

 

Areel Shaw was proud of her job. She liked having some weight to throw around when it counted, so that she could help people. The comm came through this morning with the results for that handsome Southern doctor, Leonard McCoy. His wife's lawyer caved in immediately when he received her letter with the weight of Starfleet legal behind it. She got him the requisite time with his daughter during the Christmas/New Years holidays. And this gave her the excuse she was waiting for to call him so she could ask him for a date, if maybe he didn't ask her first.

 

It was several rings before the comm was answered, "Grand Central Station, Kirk here". He recognized her immediately and gave her a bright as the sun smile as she giggled at his greeting. "Oh, hi Areel, I bet you want Bones."

 

"From the sounds of things, I'd guess you're having a party, I wouldn't want to interrupt. But, yes, I would like to speak to Leonard."

 

"Trust me, he wants to hear from you right away. And you're lucky, he's here. But he's not playing poker out here with us or he'd already be here, he's in his room. Hey, good or bad?" He couldn't resist asking but she merely shook her head in reply. "Well, I had to try. Be right back." Jim said walking away.

 

For a minute all Areel could hear ware the sounds of the poker game until she heard Leonard’s very distinct baritone coming closer, grumbling "Damn-it Jim, who the hell is it? I'm busy studyin’ for a practical in Gorn biology!"

 

The last word was said as he turned in front of the viewer. As soon as he saw who it was his demeanor changed dramatically from the harsh grump to a Southern gentleman; like an actor stepping onto the stage. It made her wonder at the conundrum: which one was the real Leonard McCoy.

 

"Well, how-do Miss Shaw,” He drawled smoothly, "Aren't you looking lovely this evening".

 

Jim shook his head and walked back to the game pointing back over his head, saying, "Check this out, just last week in my class on varying philosophical attitudes in the Federation we were discussing the Manrkian belief that there are no coincidences and that if that is true then everything happens for some reason or another. In steps an ugly legal problem Bones was having, I suggest he go to Starfleet legal. Turns out, the lawyer was in my class in second grade where I played a practical joke on her that got me kicked out of school. Since we first went over to see her she's been practically all he talks about, besides work.... and tests.... oh and, a did I say **_tests!_** " The loud 'tests' at the end was designed to see if Bones was paying any attention to him, he was not.

 

"Vat are you saying Jeem? Zat zere ees a plan to our lives?" Chekov  attempted to interpret Jim's statement.

 

Jim shook his head saying, "No Pavel. I just think that the entire thing is really fucking weird."

 

He paused, thinking of the best way to continue. "To run into Areel here and then have her working as a lawyer on Bones case **_and_** to top it all off Bones has a crush on her. Pretty odd, don't ya think?" Jim laughed turning back to the poker table. "Now, where were we boys." 

 

Shortly after the resumption of the poker game McCoy walked over to the table and puts a hand on Jim's shoulder.

 

"Can I talk to you for a minute?" he asked

 

"'S'cuse me guys. Be right back." Jim couldn't wait to hear what Bones had to say and he immediately jumped up from the table leaving the poker players throwing their hands up in disgust because it was his bet.

 

"But eets your bet Jeem!" Chekov squeels.

 

"Fold!" Jim replied to satisfy them, then walked off with his roommate asking, "Well, what?"

 

"Don't let it get to your head kid, but it worked. Ms. Shaw got me my time with my little girl, thanks." Bones' smile quickly turns into a frown as he looks at Chekov. "Now I think you better get back over there before the boy genius over there has a heart attack and I have to work and an emergency in my own apartment."

 

With that McCoy stomped off to his room leaving a laughing Jim behind.

 

OoO

 

"Hi Mom," Jim gave Winona his greeting and she returned hers.

 

"Hi Jimmy, you're different," Winona replied, her eyes boring into him. She smiled because she could see a big difference in her son.

 

Jim smiled at her because he felt balanced for the first time in his life.

 

She continued, "I wish I was there so I could feel you instead of guessing by looking. You seem untroubled for the first time since you left elementary school. Mothers' intuition is telling me you spoke with your friend."

 

Jim blushed, giving himself away. "What Mom, can't wait to get your hands on the juicy bits," Jim replied gesticulating wildly, laughing.

 

"You really are a bad influence on me Mother of Mine!" Laughing even harder he continued, "You know Mom, if Bones overheard this conversation it would sound almost incestuous thinking I'd be giving my mother the physical instead of the emotional details of my love life.

 

"Actually, I didn't say a thing... Spock actually got fed up with me avoiding him and pushed the issue." With that Jim went through the previous day’s events starting with sparring and ending with their meeting with Pike.

 

"Well baby it seems that this bond is doing good things for you. I'm glad you stopped fighting it." With a fleeting smile, Winona switched from mothering mode to thoughtful scientist.

 

"Now, I have some news for you. I heard from my geneticist friend Mike Tipersly, remember him?" Jim nodded slowly.

 

"Well, as he promised he would do, he let me know that Carol Marcus ever did take David in for genetic profiling to see if he carried your copy of the TK gene," she said clinically knowing the sensitivity of the subject.

 

Jim's eyes widened and Winona could fear see the questions there.

 

So she quickly replied, "No, he's not a carrier."

 

Jim visibly relaxed sighing.

 

Winona had one more piece of news to deliver, "And, just in case you're curious, he is also not s'treu. What you did give him was your looks, Mike also told me that he is the spitting image of you as a 5 year old, seems you gave him more of those handsome Kirk genes than anything else." 

 

Jim smiled a sad smile. "Nice to know that I contributed something good to the kid," he mumbled, rubbing his face with his hands.

 

"I wonder if I'll ever get to meet him," he whispered.

 

Tilting his head wistfully he continued, "I'll never figure out why Carol decided it was my fault the birth control failed. We both took the shots. Would have to have failed on both ends really. Can't make a baby without two halves. But because I'm s'treu it _had_ to be my fault. Kaiidth." He shook his head.

 

Winona smiled, fascinated. "Jimmy did you consciously just speak Vulcan or did that just come out?"

 

"I did?" Jim looked confused, "What did I say?"

 

Winona warmed, laughing at the fact that her son just used his mate's language without realizing it, "Kaiidth, perfect word to describe that situation, nothing you can do to change it. I too hope you get to meet David someday my baby."

 

Jim scrunched his nose at his mother calling him baby all the time, growling his response, "Mom, I know that I'm your youngest son, but must you always call me baby?"

 

She laughed again as she replied, "Jimmy, you will always be my baby. But I suppose I should try to curtail it." She leaned into the monitor. "Gee whiz, wouldn't it be embarrassing to have your mother call you when you're a captain of a starship and call you baby on front of your crew?"

 

Jim couldn’t help but laugh at the sarcasm in her voice.

 

"Alright _Mother_ I get your point. I could always call your ship and ask for the 'bitch who whelped me'." He retorted laughing evilly.

 

"I take exception to that _baby_ as I am not a dog." They continued laughing but had to interrupt their conversation to catch their breath.

 

OoO

 

The plan that Pike outlined was for Jim to attend the xenolinguistics class with Spock as usual. Jim should sit in his usual seat and Spock was to keep his usual routine, there was to be no unusual interaction between the two of them. And another xenolinguistics professor would grade Jim’s tests and other written work to ensure fairness.

 

However one of the students in the class were extremely observant. Nyota Uhura wouldn't say anything during class; she was scheduled for tutoring with them both later. If Kirk decided to show up, she would bring it up there.

 

When she arrived at Spock’s office she noticed Kirk was already there; no big surprise, he's almost always there first. With the exception of the last couple of weeks when Kirk had been avoiding him for some reason.

 

Now they were interacting, over chess as if it was business as usual. But something was different. She couldn't tell exactly what it was yet, but there was something between them. Then, she watched as Spock took one of Jim's pieces and made deliberate contact with his fingertips causing Jim to giggle!

 

Suddenly Nyota felt like she had been thrown into a surreal movie thinking, _“Wow, Mr. Testosterone, James T. Kirk just giggled._ She'd heard him laugh a lot, but never giggle!

 

Uhura decided it was the opportune moment to walk in on whatever… she wasn't exactly sure but she didn’t think that whatever she discovered, would be good for her budding feelings toward the Commander. "Aru, Commander Spock, Kirk. Tches gla-tor nash-veh, u' tsuri." (Afternoon, Commander Spock, Kirk. Chess I see, as usual)

 

Kirk smiled at her and replied, "Ha, tches rom na' nah-tor, etek tishau." (Yes, chess good for thinking, we like.)

 

Uhura's eyes twinkled with humor as she asked, "Du nah-tor teretuhr i'?" (You think together now?) She took her usual seat next to Kirk, across from Spock.

 

Kirk laughed. "Ha." (Yes)

 

Spock replied almost simultaneously with Kirk, "Ha" with a raised brow.

 

"Ra ong nash-gad?" Nyota enquired. (What topic today?)

 

"Wehk ong, u' kwon-sum." Spock answered. (Many topics, as always.)

 

Right on his heels, Jim said in a perfect imitation of Spock’s non-inflection, "Ein awek, ein tsatik, (Some private, some secret...) - if you knew what was said we'd have to kill you."

 

Nyota couldn’t help the laugh that escaped thinking, ' _that laugh_ _sounds a bit hysterical there Ny'_. It was almost too much for her to watch: Kirk doing a perfect imitation of Spock, with Spock sitting right there. And then to have Spock’s only reaction be to glance at Jim and look smug. ' _Have I entered another universe where Spock is totally different?'_ She shook her head to clear it, pony tail swishing around her head like a horses tail chasing flies.

 

"You have both come quite far this term in your Vulcan language skills. It is frequently difficult language for the human pallet to handle proper pronunciation. However you are both exemplary students in this area. I would recommend you take class with the Cllthylcalct professor to try to understand him without a universal translator." Spock suggested.

 

Uhura thought she was hallucinating when it looked like there was a small smile on Spock’s face. Professor Kcalcm’s taught astrophysics, there was no way she that she was taking astrophysics.

 

Kirk started making a series of clicks, grunts, squeals, sucking like noises and other various sounds she was sure she couldn’t wrap her mouth around, which she recognized as Cllthylcalct speech. She watched Spock’s eyes opened really wide as he heard Jim speaking this extremely difficult language. All she understood were the names spoken in standard, so she started to form a picture.

 

"Fascinating,” said a surprised Spock, “Would you please repeat that in standard for Cadet Uhura."

 

"Sure. There were several Cllthylcalct families that lived with us Veenans on Tarsus IV. The way they can use their tentacles they were lots of fun to play ball with so we kids got to be friends. They came to be with Hoshi too. If it wasn't for the UT they wouldn't be Federation members either." Kirk sighed.

 

"Most people don't have time to listen to all the subtleties of their language. They just think it's a bunch of noise."

 

Kirk gave Spock a hard look, before he continued, "I was planning on taking astrophysics, but I don't want to take a professor just to listen to his language. I want the best instructor. You know I want to learn from the best." Then he gave Spock an affectionate smile.

 

Uhura spoke slowly then, "Somehow I feel like the elephant in the room."

 

Spock tilted his head and said in his usual deadpan, "You in no way resemble a pachyderm."

 

This sent both Uhura and Kirk into laughter, for similar, yet very individual reasons: Uhura because she was certain that if Spock just told a joke she has definitely entered another dimension and Kirk because he knew that Spock really did just tell a joke.

 

Kirk tried to help her out. "So, Uhura, why are you feeling left out?" He said as he looked at her innocently.

 

She pointed between them, as she replied, "You two. What the hell is going on?"

 

She huffed continuing, "In class you two didn't even acknowledge each other, yet normally you constantly banter when given the chance, even the past month when you've hardly spoken outside of class and tutoring. Now, here, you're like… you're like two peas in a pod. What?"

 

At the phrase 'two peas in a pod' Spock tilted his head and looked at Kirk who mouthed the words 'very close' to him and showed him crossed fingers. Just as Spock nodded Nyota said shrilly. "That shit is exactly what I'm talking about!"

 

Jim thought Uhura’s reaction to them is hysterical and has had enough fun for now teasing her so he decides to be a little more straight forward, but only if… "Alright Uhura, I'll tell you what's going on, but only after you tell me your first name." His said with his eyes twinkling and he his 'lady killer' smile.

 

She huffed and sputtered before finally retorting. "Oh shit, I'm sure you could find out any time you wanted, because I know you can hack into computers. You know it's just been a matter of principle Kirk." She smiled at him finally and reached out her hand saying, "I'm Nyota".

 

Jim took her hand, grinning. "Please, call me Jim. Around here the name Kirk calls up the image of my dad. I'm me, not him. So, please, call me Jim." She nodded.

 

"Ok now. That was the easy part..."

 

Jim then explained the bond to Nyota, with Spock clarifying. At first she was shocked, but as she thought about the things that they were saying, she could recall things over the past weeks that should have been big flashing neon signs, if she would have been paid more attention to both of them instead of just Spock.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading!! I love you all!
> 
> I would certainly love to hear any comments, they make my day!!


	9. Hell Can be Many Things

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> My apologies for taking so long to get this chapter posted. Once I am up to where the chapters don't need to be rewritten I will catch you up to date. (Several more chapters.)

Chapter 9 - Hell Can Be Many Things

OoO

The end had come to a long day of classes for Jim. He was trudging back to Spock’s apartment thinking about all the things they talked about last night and the things they had yet to speak of, like David. Things that were not as intense, and were not laced with death and blood but were no less emotional. 

Throughout dinner Spock noted that Jim was uncharacteristically quiet. Also, through their bond he could feel that Jim was unsettled about something and suspected it had to do with what Captain Pike had mentioned that morning when he had told Jim to tell him “the rest”. 

Feeling the need to reassure him, so he said, “etek katelau, ra-kan tu ki-tor tar, rai tun-tor ashayam.” (1) While he spoke he sent feelings of love and wellbeing across the link.

Jim sighed as he visibly relaxed and resumed eating.

Once they had finished eating and cleaned up Jim’s emotions were much more settled and he felt that he could speak about what had happened with Carol and David.

They moved into the living room and sat on the sofa. Jim sat sideways and took Spock's hands, looking deeply into the pools of chocolate. “Okay Spock, the rest. Nothing life and death like what I've told you so far, but nothing easy to deal with either,” he said as he smirked.

“I'm sure that there are carefully guarded Vulcan secrets?” Jim hinted questioningly.

Spock was confused by Jim’s not quite query. He was just not quite sure where that statement was leading so he simply nodded. 

Jim thought the look of confusion on Spock’s face was so obvious, the tilted head and knitted brows, he wondered how anyone could miss it. He smiled inwardly as he replied, “Well, there are Veenan secrets as well and I happen to be one of them.”

Jim paused to give Spock a moment to think of the few rumors surrounding his mother’s planet. Most had to do with the extent of their mind powers; some had to do with their shaman, the Shanquat. Then there was one of the scariest places in the galaxy, however, he wasn't sure any off worlder ever even heard a rumor about the Ha'Tshi (2). Only one had to do with biology. 

Jim marveled watching Spock think. He thought that if he concentrated hard enough he could actually watch some kind of mechanism turning inside of Spock’s mind. It was not long before the cogs locked together and Jim thought he could almost hear an audible click as he saw the light of recognition glow in Spock’s eyes.

When Jim had first mentioned Vulcan secrets Spock had had to wonder what Jim was speaking of. However, when he related that to secrets of his own mothers species he had to think of the rumors surrounding Veenu. He already knew that Jim had mind powers, and he was not a priest, so he must be… He looked up and met Jim’s eyes, stating, “You are the third gender.”

“Got it in one!” Jim said and clapped his hands.

Spock, once again, looked confused.

Jim assumed his mother had never used that phrase and provided an explanation. “It means you got it on the first guess.”

Spock nodded.

Jim continued with his story, “I'm a s'treu. Although we appear male and are to all intents and purposes are male, however we are not male as most societies would believe us to be. We are more than that because we also can bear children naturally, usually, many times easier than females. Of all the known humanoid species in the galaxy we are totally unique to Veenu. Sure, there are humanoid species where males can carry an auxiliary uterus but they don't function as we do. And there are aliens with genders more genders than we could ever have guessed existed, but they aren’t humanoid.” He replied as he smiled in a self-deprecating manner. Once he got started he had to plow ahead.

“S'treu have a tendency to be extremely fertile. I already have one unplanned offspring who I will probably never get to meet. You don't have any secret baby carrying compartments do you?” Jim shyly joked trying, unsuccessfully, to drain some of his tension.

“Negative James,” Spock replied. 

Jim let out the breath he didn't know he was holding and pulled Spock into a kiss. However, he felt concern bleeding from Spock and he pulled back looking at him questioningly.

“James, I am sorry if it causes you pain, but I would like to know about this offspring,” Spock asked gently.

Jim nodded, and examined Spock’s lips as he replied, “You certainly have a right to know love. Anyway, that's the other thing I have to tell you.”

He paused to catch his breath and to compose himself.

Before he started Jim looked into Spock’s eyes. “After Tarsus I'd been on Veenu for a little over a year when I met this beautiful women. She was just under two years older than me, very intelligent and she accepted me; at least that was what I thought at the time. Anyway, her name is Carol Marcus.” As he spoke Jim's eyes began to take on a decidedly chartreuse glow. However, the only evidence Spock needed of how much the subject upset Jim was the barrage of emotions that came through their bond.

When Spock heard the woman’s name he stiffened. 

“What Spock?” Jim asked.

“Any relation to Admiral Marcus?” Spock asked in reply.

“Yeah, that’s at the heart of the situation Spock. So, to continue, at the time, after everything that just happened, having this beautiful women love me and accept me was fantastic. Of course when Mom found out that she was Admiral Marcus’ daughter she threw a fit. But we formed an adolescent bond anyway. We both took contraceptive shots and waited the two weeks they told us to wait before making love. We were kids, we made love anywhere and any when we could. It was great!” At that point Jim was still looking in Spock's eyes.

“That was until after two years Carol tells me she's pregnant. Now, I had been tested before I took the shots they told me my fertility was low. My sperm count was really low and not very mobile. The healers told me they thought it was due to with me being born premature & the radiation in the escape shuttle. So needless to say, I was pretty, shocked, blown away, however you want to say it, by the news.” As Jim was talking he was getting more and more excited and upset and his hands were flailing around as he gesticulated. “Anyway, we were both getting our monthly shots, we got them together as is the custom for couples. Still, she was furious with me, like it only takes one to make a fucking baby!”

Jim put both hands on his face and began to rub them around but he left his mouth alone so he could still talk. “I was more than willing to shoulder the responsibility and raise David with her. However that no longer mattered. Her willingness to accept me and the things in my past had been rescinded.”

Jim dropped his hands, his eyes had changed from the green of pain to the red of rage. He stood and started to pace as he continued, “I mean, how dare I pass on my genetic material! When her emotions came to me across the bond it was devastating. I was still recovering from Tarsus and then she started to degrade me further after she had acted like she had never accepted my faults. It was possible that Carol could have really fucked me over, but thankfully my mother felt what was happening to me and caught her as she had me curled in the corner and stunned her. When Carol woke up Mom had us in front of a Shanquat and forced her to relinquish her hold on me before she hurt me anymore.

“After that the petaQ taHqeq (3) refused to have anything to do with me. Blamed me for everything. I didn’t know it at the time but according to T’remel it was the good old Admiral who was responsible for her emotional state and for everything that came after. I had some weird, ancient injunction slapped on me that because I was a minor at the time David was conceived I can’t have any contact with David unless or until either he or his mother wishes it to be so. So up to this point I have never been able to see David. Likely I won't, unless I meet him as an adult away from his mother who will likely tell him monster stories about me, even though she’s under orders from said Shanquat to only say nice things about ‘the father’. There are a few things I know about him: he looks like me because Mom has a geneticist friend who recently saw him. Carol had David tested to see if he carried my TK gene, which, thankfully, he doesn't. He is also a male, not a s’treu.” Jim ticked off the three things as he spoke.

“Once the contraceptives had left my system, I had them test my sperm again and it was normal for a s'treu; very high sperm count and excellent mobility. They think it was because of having lots of sex. All I know is that I have a son that I doubt I will ever see. No one ever said life was going to be fair.” He laughed sourly. He had stopped pacing and was looking out of the window.

Spock could no longer stand the self-deprecating feelings coming from his mate. He stood and walked over to Jim and stood directly behind him winding his arms around his waist. 

Jim leaned back into him with a sigh.

When Spock spoke Jim could feel the breath of his words on his shoulder, “Maybe the time will come when we will desire children of our own James.”

Jim keenly felt the past grief and rejection. 

“Kaiidth!” Spock did not want those emotions to continue so he gently turned Jim in his arms, while whispering, “You are who you are. If she could not accept that it is her loss and my gain.” With a finger under Jim's chin and tilted it so their eyes met. “Taluhk nash-veh k'dular (4) t'hy'la,” he said and gently brought their lips together.

With all of the emotions that had been raging through Jim’s mind for the entire day he was in no mood for gentle. As soon as Spock’s lips met his every nerve in his body was instantly consumed by the need for his mate. He began nipping and kissing along Spock’s jaw and down his neck repeating, in a shaking voice, “I… love… you… please… never… leave… me…”

“Ssh, James,” Spock whispered into his ear. Nipping the lobe, he continued, stroking Jim’s back to help him relax. “I am yours, as you are mine. I will not leave you.”

Spock stepped back and took Jim by the hand. “Come Ashayam,” was all he said as he led him into the bedroom from which they did not emerge until morning.

OoO

Several days later, Jim was walking back to the apartment through the wooded area that wove behind the buildings across the campus when he felt a strong burst of anger/hate somewhere in the people around him. He cringed inwardly because the emotions were so strong as he analyzed them thinking that sometimes it sucked being an empath. But when he realized that the emotions were directed at himself Jim changed that thought to thinking of it as an early warning system.

Jim went onto hyper alert and began to look around and ‘sense’ around as well. It was broad daylight, and there were other people using the pathways, so at least he had that on his side, hoping that if anything occurred it would be reported to the proper authorities. 

As he got to the section where he had experienced the trouble with Cupcake earlier he felt the bola wrap around his calves causing him to go down. That wasn't something he expected, he had expected a direct attack, not something covert. No one appeared from the bushes so he grabbed the ball on the end and began to quickly unwrap the line from his legs. Just as he finished there was another covert attack; he felt the impact of a dart in his neck.

He jumped to his feet, instinctively going into a defensive stance. “Cowards! Show yourselves damn-it!” Jim yelled. He could feel the drug beginning to affect him. “Who are you? What the fuck do you want with me?” 

As he felt his knees begin to buckle under the effects of the drug, his mind instinctively reached for his mate and yelled, “Spock!” Before everything went dark.

OoO

It was near the end of his first xenolinguistics class of the day when Spock felt Jim’s awareness sharpen. He continued what he was doing with the class while putting 65% of his awareness on Jim.

Then Jim panicked, which quickly increased as Spock's awareness of it began to become sluggish. Drugged? Spock wondered. 

He increased his awareness of Jim to 75% and dismissed the class 5 minutes early. He sat down and shifted that awareness to 99% when he heard Jim's panicked mind shout calling him.

Nyota Uhura watched as Spock's concentration on the class slipped until he dismissed the class a full five minutes early. That was something totally unlike him, to be so distracted during class like that unless something happened to Jim.

Suddenly he got up and started walking so fast he was almost running. He was past her and out the door without even noticing that she was still there, so she followed him. 

Nyota was glad she was fit because she had to run to keep pace with him as he moved into the wooded area behind the dorms, down into the dell where he stopped.

Spock started to sniff around. Nyota realized he must be smelling for Jim. That could be the only reason he was acting like he was; something had happened to Jim. He remained oblivious to everything except what he was doing so Nyota continued her surveillance of the situation.

OoO

Jim came to consciousness slowly. First thing he noticed was the hatred and rage nearby. Then his hearing returned. He could hear men’s voices in the background, as if they were in another room. The words he picked up were, “Kirk, freak, Killer,” and, finally the last word he wanted to hear, “Kodos.” 

A cold chill of fear worked its way through his body at the name Kodos. What the fuck, Kodos was dead. Must be someone who got away from me and/or the authorities. Wonderful, just fucking wonderful!

Jim forced himself wake up more and took stock of his situation. He opened his eyes and couldn't see anything, it was also very moist and close around his face: loosely hooded. He was laying on his left side on a softish surface, like a thin mattress thrown on a hard floor, arms bound behind him, he tried to move his hands, tied or cuffed. 

His lower extremities were more problematic. He noticed a distinct lack of circulation from his knees down. His feet were pulled up behind him and tied to a rope around his hips. 

Jim felt a vibration from the floor. The kind of vibration you only feel from a craft breaking atmosphere. He realized they were taking him off planet, away from Spock, from the new life he was making for himself. He wasn't going down easily. 

Jim needed to contact Spock and he could only think of one way. He put all of his very essence into the call. “Spock, Kodos men, they're taking me off planet.”

OoO

Spock picked up Jim's scent in the dell. It was mixed with a sickly sweet chemical compound of some kind, most likely the drug they had used on him. He followed Jim’s scent to where it led: the small space port behind headquarters, which held only the private craft owned by Admirals. Which made him think that perhaps the Admiralty was testing to see if Jim would use his telekinesis to get out of the situation and how violent it would be.

The power of Jim's second shout brought Spock to his knees. Spock grabbed that new thread and wove it into their existing bond as quickly as a thought. “Understood. James, I believe this may be a trap. Be very cautious in your use of telekinesis.”

Jim mentally jumped when he heard Spock’s reply, “Spock, really, a trap?”

“From all the evidence your ship took off from the Admiral’s spaceport directly behind headquarters. This would point to the potential involvement somewhere in the Admiralty,” Spock replied.

“Fuck me. Literally. Thanks Spock. I'll be okay now that I know that. I know what they want from me. I won't let them have it. Taluhk nash-veh k'dular ashayam. I'll see you when they are finished with me,” Jim replied sadly.

“Taluhk nash-veh k'dular t'hy'la. I will come for you. You are not alone in this.” Spock replied through the bond.

When Spock looked up Uhura was standing in front of him. “Cadet Uhura, what are you doing here? Did you follow me?” he asked trying but not totally succeeding in keeping the anger out of his voice.

“I did Commander. And I’m not sorry because something happened to Jim, didn't it?” she asked getting right to the point.

Spock immediately stiffened, which confirmed for her that she was correct. “How did you reach that conclusion Cadet?” he asked in a voice that was deep and somehow threatening. He was angry and unsure how much to reveal so, rather than tell her right out he decided to prevaricate.

“The only thing I know of that could cause a Vulcan to react the way you did at the end of class is a threat to a bond-mate,” she said as she crossed her arms and shook her head in such a way as to cause her pony tail to wave. Then, in a perfect imitation of himself, she raised an eyebrow.

His respect for her went up another notch. She was a formidable woman. She also happened to be broadcasting her strong desire to be a trusted friend to both of them.

Making his decision he said, “We must contact Captain Pike immediately.” Spock then turned toward the path that would take them toward the building in the Administrative Complex where the Captain’s office was located.

OoO

The man sat in his office it at Starfleet headquarters feeling pride in his accomplishments of the day. He had finally gotten his hands on Kirk! It had been no easy accomplishment to get Burkhart and Schmidt out of lockup even with all the stars pinned to his collar. The boy must be on the cargo ship by now. On his way to his own personal hell. He smiled at the tought.

The man walked over to the floor to ceiling windows in his office and looked up, day dreaming that he could see the ship. Knowing that in a matter of months Kirk would be his own personal slave; his own personal weapon. He closed his fist and he smile turned into an evil grin.

OoO

When Spock stepped in front of Pike's secretaries desk Dianne knew who it was immediately. She could also tell there was something serious going on by Spock's posture. She looked up questioningly at which point she saw the female cadet standing behind him.

“Ms. Lane, I must see Captain Pike on an urgent matter.” As Spock spoke there was a very sharp edge in his tone not normally present.

She hit the intercom which Pike picked up immediately. “Yes Dianne.”

“Commander Spock is out here sir, on an urgent matter,” Dianne stated a very business-like manner. Urgent business happened here all the time. It was Starfleet headquarters after all.

“Send him in then and Dianne,” was Pike’s reply.

“Yes Sir,” was Dianne’s reply as she waved them to the door.

Spock, however was through the door before she finished speaking. Uhura looked at Dianne, shrugged and said, “For him, I apologize.” Then followed him in and shut the door.

Spock had obviously started speaking already because she heard Pike say, “Slow down Spock and speak in Standard please, I’m not fluent in Vulcan.”

Spock took a deep breath before he repeated what he said, in standard, “Cadet Kirk has been abducted and taken off planet. I believe I know where they are taking him and why.”

OoO

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> (1) Etek katelau, ra-kan tu ki-tor tar, rai tun-tor ashayam – we (are) mate(s), whatever you have to say, I do not care beloved”  
> (2) Ha'Tshi - Veenan - closest translation would be Well of Souls; terrified Jim; used in many ways be the Shanquat, mostly ceremonial, but not all.  
> (3) Klingon Epithets: petaQ taHqeq As Jim meant it in the story it would be ‘bitch without honor’ if you go word for word, but if you translated it into Standard it you would say ‘honor-less bitch’.  
> (4) Taluhk nash-veh k'dular - Vulcan - I cherish thee
> 
>  
> 
> There is a name of a non Star Trek actor dropped in here, first name misspelled on purpose. Any guesses? (As a nod because they starred in one of my all time favorite movies.) Guess the person you get gold stars, guess the film you get cookies too!
> 
> Comments and reviews are greatly appreciated! Thanks for reading!!! :)


	10. Where are we going Mr. Spock?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jim will be speaking to the rapists from Tarsus IV. No actual rape involved. Minor violence.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> From here on out I will be trying to update this once a week at least until I am up to date with my chapters that are already written (26)

Chapter 10 - Where are we going Mr. Spock?

Jim woke up to a boot kicking him in the small of his back. This caused him to attempt to straighten his legs forgetting that his legs were tied to his waist. What he didn't realize was that there was a cable that continued up to his throat and by attempting to straighten his legs he started to strangle himself.

As he struggled to return himself to a position where he wasn't hurting himself, he could hear his captors laughing. "Hey freak, try not to kill yourself. We have plans for you." They laughed harder.

Jim coughed and tried to control his breathing so he wasn't gulping the air. He hated showing weakness in any situation. It would only give his captors power. 

Another voice spoke. This one Jim recognized and it caused his blood to run cold. "You're going to hell freak." It was Burkhart's voice, although Jim didn't know his name, that made the hair stand up on the back of Jim's neck. That voice brought back the memories of Tarsus IV to the forefront of his mind. He had been the one giving the orders; he had been the first to try his hand at any active torture and had always laughed the loudest and hardest. 

That voice had been burned into his brain: holding down Jim's adolescent shoulders while shoving his adult sized cock up his ass; talking in his ear, telling him how every man in uniform was going to keep fucking him until he gave Kodos what he wanted while he rubbed the caked and dried blood on Jim's back so the whip scores started bleeding again. Then he took his tongue and began lapping it up.

'He was the fucking vampire' Jim remembered. For several seconds before he could control it, his mind went red with rage. Jim stomped on the rage until it was only smoldering embers.

As he cooled down he found he had to wonder, how had that verengan Ha'DIbaH (1) escaped the killing? Likely by running, he was a coward. Look at how they captured him: a bola around his legs to immobilize him and then drugs to knock him out. bIHnuch! (Cowards!)

Not that he was proud of the killing, but look what happened; here was someone he missed that was supposedly jailed, in a high security Federation prison, were now loose. Any of Kodos' men that were captured should have been sent to Rura Penthe instead of a Federation prison!

If they got him out of the Admirals space port, that meant at least one Admiral was probably behind this. Was this a 'test' as Spock thought or something more sinister? Jim would just have to be patient and observe his captors. 

He felt someone approach him from behind again and he made himself relax, no matter what. However, this time they undid the bindings holding his legs to the rest of his body and he was able to straighten them, which he did very tentatively only to have them yanked back.

"Ha, you're not going anywhere without permission freak." Said the first man.

"Now stand the fuck up." Said a different voice, one he had heard when he first woke.

Jim tried to stand but his legs didn't want to work right away because of how they'd been tied so the man grabbed him by the shoulders and stood him up. However, his knees didn't want to work at first so it took a couple of attempts for him to lock them so he could stand.

They allowed him just enough cable between his feet so could spread his feet to balance himself and shuffle as he was pushed to the wall. He finally got a look at his captors as he was unceremoniously shoved against the wall. The remaining portion of the cable that had connected his legs to his neck was snapped into a spot on the wall.

Jim noticed a second man come up on his other side just as the snap of magnetic handcuffs let go on his left wrist. He had no time to even notice as each arm was manhandled into a cabled cuff on each side.

Burhart stood in front of him, leering, with a remote control in his hand. "Hey freak, with this controller I can control those cables around your hands and throat." To demonstrate he decided to pull Jim against the wall by his throat.

Jim willed himself to calm even as the cable tightened around his throat starting to cut off his air. 

"He ain't gettin' mad, like you said 'e would Burky." Schmidt quipped earning him a backhand across the face from Burkhart. 

"Told you 'bout names fool." Burkhart spun on Schmidt, yelling, clearly furious. As he did he let off the control tightening the cable causing it to loosen slightly. They continued to argue in lowered voices, moving into the other room.

Much to Jim's relief he found he could breathe easier. With the slightest amount of pressure from his mind he loosened the loop around his neck, stifling the impulse to cough. He found he was finally able to concentrate on listening to the speech of his captors and he found he recognized the other voice and because of that was able to put names with them both: Burkhart and Schmidt.

Burkhart was a real sadist. Kodos had ordered for Jim to be broken. Burkhart had been the trusted Captain to devise the strategy. Schmidt had been Burkhart's right-hand man. They had to have been running when the killing began and they were lucky Starfleet showed up when they did. It was also a good thing that he had recognized his mother or there would likely have been more dead. 

Jim's musing was interrupted as Burkhart and Schmidt returned to the room. He decided it was time for him to say something, "I remember you guys now. Burkhart and his crony Schmidt. You were the first two to try any new type of physical torture on me. I especially remember Burkhart raping me while licking blood off my back."

The rage had been simmering at the back of Jim's brain so when he decided to open his mouth it flooded forth. "Joy' puq, raD puq nga'chuq, petaQ, hab sosli' Quch." (2) 

Jim laughed because he doubted that they'd understand the gravity of the curses he rained down on them in Klingon. To torture children was much too dishonorable. The children would either be kept if they were old enough to work or quickly executed. But never raped and / or tortured. After what they did the Klingons would have found some very unique tortures for the torturers them before killing them. Jim doubted they ever would have made it to Rura Penthe. 

OoO

"Spock, sit. You too, Cadet...?" Pike looked at Uhura questioningly. 

"Cadet Nyota Uhura, Sir." She said, saluting. 

Pike waved her off and pointed to a chair. Throwing a glare at Spock and pointing to the other chair. "And how are you involved in this Cadet Uhura?"

Spock could feel his patience being tested as he lowered himself in the chair next to Nyota as she explained her friendship with himself and James. His control was severely tested when it came to this situation and he was sure that was the reason why Pike was making him wait. So, he waited, not allowing his control to slip.

By the time Pike turned his attention to him however, Spock was grateful for the time because he had reined in his emotional impulses and was calm, once again.

"What happened Spock, when was Jim abducted?" Pike asked, drilling Spock with his eyes to ascertain his emotional state.

"31.47 minutes ago, near the end of xenolinguistics class, which Cadet Uhura is a member of, I felt Jim panic. I was able to devote some of my mind to him while teaching the class, until I felt him call me with the force of his telekinesis behind it. I dismissed class five minutes early and went after him.

"Along with the call there was the picture of a place. I knew where it was and went to that spot where I picked up his scent. Following the scent was easy, as well as the fact that no one tried to hide the fact that they were dragging a 187 pound male, and the trail was heading directly toward the Admirals special spaceport. 

"Jim then called to me again, stronger. We were able to communicate telepathically. He told me that he was being taken by off planet by Kodos' men." 

Spock now stood and moved so that he was standing in front of Pike who sat on the edge of his desk. "Captain Pike, I believe that they are trying to return James to Tarsus IV in order to break his mind and spirit. However it will not work because I am going to retrieve him, with your help."

Pike stood and backed Spock up, pinning him with his eyes. "What makes you think that they are taking him to Tarsus IV Commander? That place has been abandoned for years."

"It is the presence of Kodos' men. It would be the logical place for men who had been in Kodos employ to take James for the sheer horror of what it would do to him." Spock replied evenly, sure that the only emotion he may have shown was in his eyes.

"Okay Spock. It makes a twisted kind of sense. Now how do you suppose we rescue him from there? I don't mean to sound callous, and that's how it must sound to you. But, Spock, Starfleet is not going to mount a rescue mission for one cadet, as much as it pains me to say that.

"So, let's sit down and think about options. I know for a fact that Jim has allies; such as a very determined bondmate and I know his mother will raise all kinds of hell. As a matter of fact, I'm surprised I haven't heard from her by now." As soon as he spoke those words Pike knew that it would only be a matter of minutes before he received a contact from Winona.

The comm buzzed just as Pike was having those thoughts causing him to jump. "Dianne, don't tell me, let me guess. It's a live comm from Winona Kirk?" He asked sarcastically.

"Why, yes it is Captain. Shall I put her through, sounds like she's expected?" Dianne replied musically, totally unfazed by her boss. 

"That would be appreciated Dianne. Put her through to the big view screen please." Pike requested.

Pike patted Spock on the arm before the view screen flicked on presenting them with Winona's face. 

"Chris, what's going on with Jim?" Came out of her mouth before it even registered with her that Pike was not alone. She stopped and rebooted before continuing. "I'm sorry Sir, it seems that I caught you at a bad time."

"No Winona, we were actually expecting your call." Pike replied getting a very puzzled look from her.

"Excuse me Chris, maybe I'm dense, maybe I'm just being a worried mother, but what the hell is going on!"

"Seriously Winona, we were expecting your call. This is Commander Spock," Spock nodded and Winona's eyes widened in recognition. "And, this is their friend Nyota Uhura. We are all involved.

"Now, as far as we have determined Jim has been taken off world. He has been in telepathic contact with Spock," Winona was floored by this piece of information. "And he spoke of Kodos' men."

Those last two words Kodos' men sent a chill down Winona's spine. She jumped up and started pacing within range of her viewer. 

"No, no, no, NO! They can't!" She yelled and turned back to the viewer. "By the Gods Chris, they are going to take him back to Tarsus IV! We can't let that happen."

Spock spoke up, formal as always. "That was my conclusion as well Commander Kirk." 

"Look, Spock these aren't circumstances I would have preferred for us to meet." Winona laughed the same self-deprecating laugh as he heard from Jim, causing the hairs on the back of his neck to raise. "I won't salute if you won't. Just call me Winona, please.

"Now, Chris, I realize Starfleet isn't going to call in the dogs for one abducted cadet. However, I have some favors I can call in with a couple of Veenan Captains. And, Jim is one of their own and a telekinetic s'treu, with a Vulcan ama to boot. I'll get back to you in less than one hour. Kirk out." Winona cut the channel.

Spock turned to Pike and raised an eyebrow and cocked his head preparing to ask about her behavior.

Pike looked at him and smiled. "Spock, that's Winona Kirk. Get used to her. She's your mother-in-law now." When Spock's second eyebrow joined the first Pike chuckled, shook his head and patted Spock on the shoulder. 

OoO

Burkhart came across the room and backhanded Jim across the face. "Shut the fuck up freak."

Jim spit in his face. He smiled when he saw a good mixture of saliva and blood on Burkhart's face. He really didn't care that it earned him another slam in the face. A long time ago he realized that physical pain could be easily dealt with: if he didn't fight it, he would simply sweat until the endorphins took over. 

Burkhart hit the button on the remote that caused the loop around Jim's neck to tighten. Jim wasn't going to allow him to choke him so, with a little concentration he kept the cable from moving and simply stood there. 

Burkhart started getting angry. Jim could feel his anger and frustration building as he started hitting the remote against his hand and yelling. "What the fuck is wrong with this fuckin' remote? God damn-it!" He pointed it at Jim repeatedly hitting the button that was causing the mechanics of the device to want to close the loop. However, Jim's mind was stronger and held the workings still. 

Jim could feel Burkhart's anger turning to rage and becoming totally irrational. Jim wanted to see Burkhart somehow break that remote, even if it was over Jim's own head. So Burkhart needed to be pushed over the edge. 

Jim thought speaking more might just do it; and he certainly loved the guttural sound of speaking in Klingon, it was especially fun to find or make up curses! "HuH, pujwl', veQ, P'Tok. SoH lo'laHbe', Qop gagh." (3).

"I said shut the fuck up freak!" Burkhart yelled as he continued frantically pushing the buttons on the remote, trying to get it to work.

"I'll talk if I want to Burkhart." Jim decided to take a conversational tone to see if that would drive him over the edge. "You're human swine, you and your friends. You call me a murderer, yet you murdered innocents. Whereas I killed those, who murdered the innocents." 

Burkhart was getting close, Jim could feel it. It sounded like he was growling.

"What are your nightmares like Burkhart, with the blood of hundreds of innocents on your hands? Huh? How does it feel?" Here it comes Jim thought.

As the last words came out of Jim's mouth Burkharts control broke and he turned on Jim. Using the remote as a blunt weapon, he started to beat Jim over the head. 

Anticipating the move Jim had erected a crude shield, like transparent aluminum, around himself. So the majority of the impact was absorbed before it hit him. That didn't matter, however far from perfect the shield was, Jim did accomplish his goal when the remote broke into pieces. 

OoO

It was less than one hour when Winona Kirk called Chris Pike back. Dianne put her right through. 

Chris, Spock and Nyota turned to the viewscreen as Winona's face appeared. "Good news, Captain Surry of the Stivet will assist. The Stivet is a small, fast ship. Warp 6-8 is where they normally set the cruising speed for her. She will do warp 12 in a crunch. 

"I got leave approved from Captain Jameson for as long as I need. They're dropping me off at Starbase 4 tomorrow where the Stivet will pick me up the next day and we will head to Earth and should be there in four days." She could hear Spock growling. "Sorry Spock, that's as fast as things move. I want to get him back as soon as possible as well, but it could still be weeks. Remember we're dealing with space distances here."

"Apologies Comma... Winona." Spock corrected himself giving his head a shake, then meeting her eyes once again. "He is my mate in a way that seems to defy time and space. I do not understand." Spock looked at Winona, brows creased, lips pursed, ramrod straight, holding his hands behind his back and fear pouring from his eyes.

"I can explain sometime, but not now. Spock, can you feel him?" Winona asked. If he could, it would be possible he could act as a locating beacon. That could be one of the workings of the ama bond.

Spock closed his eyes and concentrated for several seconds then said "They are near the orbit of Neptune."

Pike walked over to his computer and called up sensors for the traffic in the outer solar system and found that there was one registered transport ship that Spock pointed out. "There is a registered Mazarite transport just closing on the orbit of Neptune. The maximum speed the Mazarite's have been able to achieve warp 5.2. Even with the delay we may be able to meet them in space."

Winona turned her attention from Pike back to Spock. "Spock, do you think you could reach him telepathically?"

"I do not know. Our previous telepathic contact was initiated by James. If we had a full Vulcan mating bond it is likely I could still contact him, but that ability would diminish with distance. I will try to contact him as soon as I am seated." Spock moved to the closest chair and sat.

Closing his eyes, Spock concentrated on the one being in the Universe who had captured his soul. It was easy to follow Jim's emotions through their bond. It throbbed with anger. Spock had to make sure he kept his locked down tight so he didn't add his anger to Jim's.

Spock reached along their bond until Jim's emotions were stronger. At the moment he was smugly satisfied.

"James." Spock called out. "James, can you hear me?"

Almost immediately he received his reply. He could almost see Jim in the distance.

"Spock!" Jim replied, relief in his mindvoice. "Spock do you know where I am?"

"I believe so. You are in a Mazarite transport. Your mother has arranged for a Veenan captain named Surry to pick up myself and Captain Pike on Earth and your mother on Starbase 4 with his ship the Stivet. The Stivet should be able to make a much faster speed than that of the transport ship that you are on. Hopefully we will be able to catch you before you reach your destination." Spock filled him in on the details.

"Spock, you sound like you've figured out the destination." Jim asked quietly.

"James, if you think about it, you will realize where they are taking you." Spock replied quietly.

"Tarsus... Now I understand the comment Burkhart made about me going to hell." 

Spock picked up the name. He had to see if Jim knew anymore.

"James you mentioned Burkhart. I assume he is one of your captors?" Spock questioned.

"Yeah. Him and a guy named Schmidt. Both of them were pets of Kodos. Burkhart was the one in charge of picking out the tortures they used. Even when Kodos ordered them to change tactics, it was Burkhart's great idea for the gang rape. He went first and Schmidt second. They're both here now." Jim replied.

"Thank you James." Spock got no reply. "James?" 

It was then that he felt the pain.  
**************************************************************************

(1) verengan Ha'DIbaH - Klingon epitaph - Ferengi dog  
(2) joy' puq, raD puq nga'chuq, petaQ, hab sosli' Quch - Klingon - torture child, force child sex, pigs, your mother has a smooth forehead  
(3) HuH, pujwl', veQ, P'Tok SoH lo'laHbe', Qop gagh - Klingon - Slime, weakling, garbage, spineless human child. You be worthless, dead, worms eaten as food (best served live)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please let me know what you think so far!


	11. No Way, Not Again

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know I said once a week. Sorry! Smack me, please!

Jim's communication with Spock had been broken by Burkhart slapping him across the face to get his attention. When he was satisfied that he had it he kicked Jim in the groin.

During the instant of reaction Jim's knees buckled. The cable with the least amount of give, his body included, until he came to rest against it was the one around his neck. As soon as he felt it he scrambled to get his feet under himself until after a couple attempts, he was standing again.

Jim was just happy at that moment that his gonads were protected, being internal, because that shot hit him just in front of his ch'la (1); just about the spot where a males testicles are located.

Burkhart got right up in Jim's face, so close Jim could smell his nasty breath. He said in a breathy whisper, "That was for being a chatterbox freak. Now shut the fuck up!"

Quiet was fine with Jim because he needed to think. Spock had said they were planning on taking him back to Tarsus IV. Now that he knew that, everything was different. James T. Kirk was NOT going to allow himself to be taken back there. He had to keep them from going to warp, no matter the cost.  
**************************************************************************  
Spock felt the pain in his groin and gasped. When he opened his eyes he found Nyota leaning over him.

"Are you okay Spock? Is Jim okay?" She asked anxiously.

Spock nodded to indicate that both of them were 'okay', that being a word of indeterminate value. Nyota moved back to reveal Pike and the view screen featuring a very worried looking Winona Kirk.

Before Spock could even form a word in his mind Winona was badgering him with questions. "Well Spock? What happened to make you gasp? How is he? Did you tell Jimmy where they were planning on taking him? What was his response? Did he say anything about other men?"

Spock stood, hands clasped behind his back. Only Nyota could see how tightly he gripped them. He looked at Winona, cocked his head to the side and raised an eyebrow then quietly waited for her verbal deluge to stop.

When she finally took a breath Spock decided to answer. "I do not understand the first question. I gasped because I felt James was kicked in the groin. He seems relatively unharmed. He is now aware of the deduced destination and his response was 'now I understand the comment Burkhart made about me going to hell'. And there was mention of another man named Schmidt. James said he was Burkhart's assistant in everything.

"I would not be surprised, if knowing the deduced destination of the ship would cause James to take some kind of action on his own to prevent that from happening." Spock answered.  
**************************************************************************  
Jim used his TK and clipped the cable behind his neck, at each hand and each ankle. He stood as he was while he waited for his moment. Burkhart and Schmidt started a conversation about their favorite methods of producing pain in another person and had stopped paying any attention to Jim. 

Burkhart had his back to Jim as they talked. Schmidt was turned partly away from him as well, as if he wasn't worth their attention.  
He decided to disabuse them of that notion.

Jim gathered himself as best he could while maintaining the facade that he was still attached to the wall. In one fluid movement he spun from foot to foot kicking each one in the head. Burkhart he hit in the back of his head at the occipital bone snapping his head forward where he fell heavily into the wall.Schmidt he hit in the temple dropping him on the spot.

Jim checked to make sure they were both alive them moved to find a method of securing them. Looking around he found he was in a cargo container inside a larger cargo hold. He had been secured to the wall using magnetic cabling meant for holding individual pieces packed into the crate. 

'Turnabout is fair play.' Jim thought, chuckling as he secured his captors the way they had him secured. However he gave them enough cable to sit against the wall.

On the way out he spied a phase pistol on a table and grabbed it. He decided to make his way toward the 'bridge'. Moving out of the container into the hold Jim closed the door.

The ship was relatively small, he had a two choices, left or right. He had a 50/50 chance, turned right, passed several other cargo holds until he reached an open doorway. Holding the phase pistol at ready he peaked around the frame. Sitting with her back to him was the Mazarite pilot. 

As Jim moved stealthily into the compartment he heard the comm come alive. "Mazarite transport 05496, this is Starfleet control, you may proceed to warp after you pass beacon x72390 charlie. At your current speed that will be in 2 minutes mark... confirm."

The pilot pressed a button. "Starfleet control, this is Mazarite transport 05496 confirm." She hit the button again and as she sat back she felt the cold of Jim's phase pistol press up against her temple.

"Hi there sweetie. How about this? You turn this ship around. Call Starfleet and get me in touch with Captain Pike. And I'll make sure my Vulcan bondmate doesn't tear you apart, like he will with Burkhart and Schmidt." Jim looked her in the eyes and grinned winningly.  
**************************************************************************  
Winona got a chill when she heard Spock make that pronouncement, it having a prescient feel. "What do you mean by that Spock?"

Spock fixed his gaze on the visage of Winona on the view screen. "Simply that I believe James has less desire to return to Tarsus IV than any of us can conceive. And that he will avail himself of any of his mind, as need be, to keep that from happening." 

Pike had been observing the exchange between Winona and Spock and noticed that the two were quickly becoming comfortable with one another. He let the two talk and decided to spend some time getting to know how Cadet Uhura was tangled in all of this mess.

Since Nyota knew that Pike recruited Jim she began her story with current time and worked her way backwards to when they first met. When he realized that she had been at the center of circumstances that lead to Jim being recruited into Starfleet he laughed. Just as he was about to thank her Dianne commed him.

"What do you have Dianne?" Pike asked.

"A comm from Jim Kirk for you sir." Dianne said wryly. She had figured out from the inclusion of Spock and Winona that this meeting was likely about Jim.

"Put him on split screen with his mother." 

Jim's eyes got big when he saw so many people with Pike, including a split of his mother. 

"Wow, hi everybody. You guys putting on a party just for lil' ole' me?" Jim smiled his eyes going right to Spock's, sending feelings of relief and love through their bond. 

"Indeed." Agreed Spock, not necessarily speaking about the 'party'. 

"Jimmy, you okay?" Winona asked, pausing to look at him as best she could over the comm. She then turned suspicious. Her eyes narrowed, barely perceptibly, and very tactlessly, Winona asked her son. "How'd you get loose?" 

Jim gave his mother an exasperated look, fists on hips. "They are fine mother. Senta net, vi schto nasapaln! Artin, ves dostenen et vi. (2)" 

He was hoping he had given Spock enough Veenan to get the gist of that so he wouldn't have to remember the details of the conversation. Jim also hoped his mother would chill out. 

"I cut my bonds then waited until their backs were turned and knocked them out. They were actually easy to take out. Now they are tethered in the same cargo container. Which, by the way, we will have to cut them out of because I melted the lock just to make sure it wouldn't be easy for anyone to get them out from inside the ship here.

"Me, I'm just peachy." He pointed to the pilot with his phase pistol held, what would have appeared to be careless to most people, but Jim never did anything careless when his life was on the line. 

"Our pilot here really didn't think you'd take my call..." Before Jim could finish the sentence the pilot tried for the gun unaware, like Uhura had been, that Jim was not the 'pretty boy idiot' that he could appear to be. 

As she moved for the gun he elbowed her in the face hitting her right in the nose. She slumped to the ground unconscious. 

"Guess she really was un trustworthy." Jim said sadly, shaking his head. "I was really hoping it would turn out otherwise because Mazarite is not one of my languages. If it was Vulcan or Klingon I wouldn't have a problem."

Pike chuckled at that comment. "Yes, I think we all know of your love of the Klingon language Kirk."

"P'Tok!" Jim said laughing. (Spineless human child)

"I am not spineless, nor am I a child Jim. Watch your language around your betters." Pike replied also laughing.

"Excuse me." Spock broke in, irritated with the lighthearted conversation when his mate was stuck on a cargo ship in the outer solar system with hostiles. "Would it not be wise to have our rescue in line for James before we begin with the illogical humor?"

Jim and Winona started to laugh. Pike looked at them smiling before turning to Spock, but Uhura beat him to the punch. 

"Spock, us illogical, emotional beings tend to use humor in intense situations like this to diffuse our own angst. I'm sure we'll get it all worked out pretty quickly." She reassured him.

"And here is where I finally pay my dues. Mazarite is one of the languages I entered the academy having studied because I have a fascination with runic alphabets and theirs is stranger than most. 

"Jim, can you draw me the characters at each control? You would need to be very specific with every line." Nyota informed him.

"Well I guess I lucked out to be on this ship than. I can do better than drawings my dear, they have this," Jim reached forward into the camera, then it started moving. "Primitive camera here that is only clipped on the top of the monitor."

"Excuse me." Winona broke in. "I'm needed here and now that I know things are under control I feel a lot better. Jimmy, you get back safe now. I'll be in touch." She broke the connection. The split view screen automatically became full view of Jim's camera which he was attempting to orient on the controls in front of him.

Uhura felt dizzy while she watched the various permutations of the control panel on the view screen. When it finally settled it was upside down.

She smiled as she commented. "Hey farm boy, you've got the camera upside down."

Being a complete wise ass he flipped it over so it gave a view of the ceiling of the compartment. "Is that what you wanted honey?" He asked sarcastically before righting the view.

"That was for the farm boy comment Ny." Jim said as the motion settled. 

"Jim, are you forgetting that there are others in the room." Pike said dryly. "Don't we count?"

"Sorry if I made you guys uncomfortable. I suppose if you were bothered there that would make your discomfort collateral damage for when we figure out who the fuck is behind this." Jim started to sound a little bitter as he said the last half of the sentence.

Jim could feel Spock's turmoil, which was being exacerbated by his own flippant humor. "Spock, nam-tor hayal, ek' dungi nam-tor muhl (3). I feel alive right now and humor is one way of expressing it."  
**************************************************************************  
In a large office in the Headquarters building The Man just sat and watched the communications between Pike's office and the Mazarite transport. Just enough to know that he had lost this round to the Kirk kid. He would have to be more prepared next time. He had to have that kid and his abilities in his corner before the endgame. 

He hit a button on his desk that would summon his aid, Charles Tonne. Charles was new to his service. He seemed nice enough, but he was one of those lackeys who would never get anywhere in the world. The Man laughed at having found the perfect pawn, at least so he thought. 

What he didn't realize was that Charles Tonne was a very intelligent man. He was the third child of South West North America (SWNA) Senator John Michael Tonne. Born April 15, 2212, Charles brilliance had him into the command track at Starfleet Academy when his two older siblings were killed on March 22, 2233 on the USS Kelvin. 

John Michael Tonne was a very influential man and used that influence to force his son to change career paths from command to one that would keep him behind a desk for the majority of his career because he didn't want to loose another son to space. Now he was a lacky to admirals. The only way he would get into space at this time would be with one of them, as he had done when he worked solely for Admiral Archer.

Thanks to cutbacks he was now working for four of them. One thing his father had taught him was that politics could be very dirty, so he kept journals which included details on orders from each of his bosses. 

He thought over his summaries of what his bosses were like on his way to his latest call. They were all very different:  
Admiral Jamadish, very young for an Admiral and headstrong Centaurian woman, rather liberal, pro women and pro non-human rights, very intolerant of prejudice;  
Admiral Komack, middle aged human male, also headstrong but very conservative, easily angered, extremely ambitious, doesn't like things to get in his way, slimy;  
Admiral Archer, aged human male (over 100), pretends to be semi retired, most liberal of all admirals, surprising considering everything he has seen, laid back;  
Admiral Nogura, middle aged human male, holds a lot of anger, seems on the surface that he would be conservative in everything, but he is very surprising, ambitious but not in the same way as Komack.

Charles was walking down the corridor when he was struck with a sudden feeling of dark arms reaching for him and pulling him down into nothingness. His vision started to become a tunnel and he had to lean on the wall to keep himself from falling. He felt dizzy and nauseous.

He recovered quickly, shaking his head, wondering what had just happened, he continued down the hall to his destination. 

"Thank you for coming so swiftly Charles. That's one thing that I've always liked about you." The Man smiled as he patted Charles on the back depositing a small device on the back of his shirt, that when a trigger was pushed, would inject a small amount of the toxin used by the xi (4) 'octopus' to incapacitate prior to sifting memories.

"Charles, right now I need you more than I ever have before. Something just came to me. I need to show you and of course, I need your utmost discretion until we decide how to tell the others." The Man said smoothly leading Charles to, what appeared to be another panel in his office. 

"Do you see that dark spot on the wall to your left Charles?" Charles looked and noted the spot, an "x" drawn on the wall with a magic marker.

"Yes Sir, I see it." Charles replied.

"Touch it will you please." 

Charles saw nothing wrong with the request, he had complied with stranger ones since starting his job, however this one gave him goose bumps. Everything in him was telling him "NO". He felt that by touching that spot on the wall everything in his life was going to change.

Slowly, with trepidation, Charles Tonne reached up and touched the spot on the wall which triggered the release of the xi toxin. He slumped to the floor with the dark arms embracing him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> (1) Ch'la - Veenan - organ which covers the vagina in s'treu.  
> (2) Senta net, vi sto nasapaln! Artin, ves dostenen et vi. - Veenan - After all, you still question! Mother, I am disappointed in you.  
> (3) Nam-tor hayal, ek' dungi nam-tor muhl - Vulcan - Be calm, all will be well  
> (4) xi - Pronounced zee. Sentient telepathic cephalopods known by individual group. As they only picture themselves, they have no names. xi, small letter stressed, was the only written word with sound the first contact team was given. Planet was quarantined shortly thereafter because the 'Squids' were found to be quite powerful, able to live out of water, walk upright and impose their will on others.
> 
> A/N: Please review and let me know what you think of Charles. I really want to know because it's the first time I've made a character from scratch and I'd like to know if you have enough background to begin to feel for him.


	12. The Damned and the Rescued

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Standard Disclaimer: I'm just a poor girl!  
> Wow! This chapter just kind of wrote itself.  
> Thanks to my readers & all those who have alerted/favorited the story.  
> Special thanks to anyone who leaves a Review.  
> BTW, the answer to the question about Pikes assistant was Diane Lane and the movie was Secretariate
> 
> Warning - This chapter earns its rating! NC-17 M/M sex ahead.

Jim sure was glad that he had a friend in Nyota Uhura. She had no problem translating the control panel and he was on his way back to Earth; back to Spock. He was very much longing to get back to Spock. Their bond felt stretched and it was not a very nice feeling. 

Once he got the ship turned around, Pike made arrangements for him to be met by a ship with security forces and Spock. Jim couldn't keep visions of Spock ripping the door off the cargo container with Burkhart and Schmidt. The thought of Spock going all warrior because of him made him smile and it really turned him on. 

With the pilot firmly secured and no other life forms that he could detect besides the boys in the cargo hold Jim really needed to meditate to clear his head. He couldn't go deep because the Starfleet security guys were due in about a half of an hour, but at least he could slow his racing thoughts. 

The ship was set on auto-pilot with alarms for proximity, as well as engines and other important functions set so he would know if anything went wrong. After all, it was designed to be run by a very small crew of no more the four. It was very slow moving; maximum of warp one and one quarter of the impulse of Archer's Enterprise. 

The two things they elaborated on in construction were, of course, the cargo holds, with the other being the sensors. They were able to detect objects that could damage the ship from enough of a distance that the pilot could be wakened and the object avoided. 

That gave Jim a sense of security that, if a pilot could sleep soundly, he could lightly meditate. He could feel Spock getting closer as he relaxed into a light trance and awaited his arrival.

 

OoO

Blackness was in every space in every atom in his body. Spaces between protons and neutrons were filled with blackness; it so clogged everything that the electrons could barely move in their shells. His life force was suspended in blackness.

Fingers were reaching into his brain putting in events that never happened to him; things he would never/could never do. He screamed but he didn't think anything came out of his mouth; his body was paralyzed. Autonomic functions worked but that was all.

He was being transmuted into someone, something that was wrong; a sick, twisted version of himself. Outwardly he would be the same, and there would be vestiges of Charles Tonne, but he would not be the same man. 

As he panicked he felt as though he was drowning. He fought for air, which seemed as thick as water. Every breath he took was harder and harder as he fought, but he knew he was loosing. Gasping, he was lost. All he could do was hope that someone, possibly his father, could see the difference.

Slowly the panic began to quell as he became the new personality emerged. 

However, before he was completely consumed by the new 'Charles' and his very existence forgotten, he remembered that he had built a room within his mind for to keep the Admiral's Secrets. Remembering the room caused the door to appear in front of him.

The small part of Charles Tonne that was left whole managed to run and hide in that small room, where he stayed, hidden and undetected. Until the day arrived when there would come the men who would strive save him.  
OoO

Spock stood at the doors which would open in 11.47 seconds. Outwardly, he appeared calm and in absolute control of his emotions. He was hiding his inner turmoil well. His mate had been taken from under his nose, at Starfleet Academy. It should have been a safe place. 

It was extremely difficult to control the rage he felt at those involved in this offense against his James. In addition to those on the ship there was someone in or close to the Admiralty involved. Once he picked up the scent of the corruption, he would work until he had it rooted out. Spock had no doubt that James would be at his side for every step.

Spock felt subtle changes in his inner ear as the air pressures equalized between the two ships. James was very close; emotional state: excited... in all ways. If Spock was human he would have sighed.

The doors cycled open and Spock was greeted with the vision of James, standing, lightly backlighted, in his torn, red, academy uniform. His eyes were glowing bright blue with the emotions Spock felt through the bond. 

When Jim saw Spock nostrils flare, knowing that he was smelling him, he felt his body temperature rise and more of his blood move south. It amazed him how he found such a little thing like that so hot. 

Security officers entered first, the lead pair walking past Jim into the ship, phaser rifles at the ready. The commanding officer stopped in front of Jim blocking his line of sight to get his attention. "Lt. Commander Fontnoy here to rescue you Mr. Kirk. Where are your kidnapers being held?"

Jim noticed the man behind him held a plasma cutter and he smiled. "I'll take you there in a minute, after I say hello to Spock." 

He stepped around Fontnoy with ease to find that Spock was right behind him and found himself enveloped in strong Vulcan arms.

"I didn't think you'd go for the public display of affection ashaya!" Jim whispered into Spock's ear with a little laugh. 

"I am currently emotionally compromised by this situation." Spock replied breathing deeply, inhaling his lovers scent. "I will not allow anything like this to occur again!" He growled into Jim's ear causing him to shiver.

"Mmm, that would be wonderful, if it was possible. But, we can't let ourselves become emotionally compromised by each other love or we'll wind up on some Starbase in butt fuck nowhere." Jim stepped back but held two of Spock's fingers in the ozh'esta. Spock nodded. 

"Come on, let's go get the bad guy's." Feeling very close to invincible with Spock beside him.

Walking up the hall towards the correct cargo bay Jim could see the first two officers had found the Mazarite pilot and were bringing her down the corridor. He could feel Spock's anger towards her for being a participant in Jim's abduction. 

As she got closer Spock began growling. A very different type of growl than Jim had ever heard, it was very menacing. 

"Just scare her, my Warrior Vulcan." Jim whispered to Spock. He knew that Spock heard him, even though he didn't acknowledge that he did.

Spock continued to glare at the pilot and his growl got more vicious. He sounded like a cat getting ready to fight, a very large, very angry cat, like a lion. 

As they passed the security officers were holding her toward the center of the corridor and she was fighting to get to the wall, away from the Vulcan, who looked and sounded like he was going to kill her.  
Once she was gone Jim sighed and relaxed, marginally, knowing that the Warrior Vulcan was going to come out Big Time next.

He stopped in front of the entrance to the cargo bay, took a calming deep breath and opened the door. The lights automatically flickered on when the doors were opened, revealing several dozen cargo containers of various sizes. Jim lead them to the container in which he had been held. It was obvious where the locks on both the large and small door inside it were fused.

The security officers with the plasma cutters stepped up to the door and started to work on cutting out the lock.

Jim turned to Spock who had been staring intently at the door. When Spock turned that intense stare to him Jim could not help the shiver that ran down his body, raising goose flesh everywhere. 

"Soon my love, soon." Jim said to Spock rubbing their fingers together which he hadn't relinquished.

Spock was working very hard to contain his impatience while the security officers cut the lock out of the door. Jim was actually helping, feeding him soothing feelings at the moment rather than excited ones. 

Spock should not have been surprised by this because he recalled Jim calling him his 'Warrior Vulcan'. Jim was very aware of his mental state at the moment. He would have to be very careful to keep control of his rage so that he didn't rip the two he was about to confront limb from limb.

When Spock saw the lock fall he calmly walked to the door, holding his hands near where the metal was cut to judge the temperature. As soon as it was cool enough for his hands, reached in, leaned back slightly to put some power behind it and ripped the door open. 

Jim could feel the level of fear inside go up exponentially at that. He couldn't help the evil grin that spread across his face.

"Come on Fontnoy, follow us." Jim said ducking in quickly behind Spock who entered as soon as he had the door opened far enough.

He found Spock pointedly glaring at the two men who were tied to the wall of the cargo container. Schmidt was shaking; Burkhart was making a feeble attempt to glare back.

Jim quickly looked around and saw a hand sized metal container. He handed it to Spock who looked at him with a questioning brow. So Jim turned and whispered. "Use it as a hand strength demonstration. Crush it!" Jim made an emphatic fist, as if Spock needed instruction.  
Spock returned his glare to the men, held up the container and crumpled it like it was a piece of paper. At the same time he used the growl he had earlier as he said. "Du nan-tor t'nash-veh k'hat'n'dlawa. Uf tor du gish kal-tor nash-veh du ta kup-ha-tor."

Jim was a little bit surprised by the use of the word k'hat'n'dlawa, a very emotion laden word. Before he could utter the translation he noticed growing wet spot on Schmidt's pants with amusement. It must have been that growling tone Spock used.

'He is extremely menacing when he is like this. I don't ever want that turned on me!' Jim thought.

"Would you like to know what he said?" Jim asked. Without waiting for a reply, because he had no intention of not satisfying himself by not giving them the translation; if for no other reason than he wanted to hear it out loud in Standard. "He said, 'you threaten the other half of my heart and soul. How do you expect that I allow you to live?'"

Spock made that pissed off big cat sound again and Burkhart finally had the common sense to look scared. 

Jim was angry but he realized he didn't know how much of the anger he was feeling was his and how much was Spock's. He was certain that it was showing in his eyes. Jim would bet good credits that glowing red eyes and a soft voice could be much more intimidating at times than yelling. 

Nothing like the present to try.

He walked up to Burkhart so he was right in his face. Looking briefly at Schmidt so he knew he was included, Jim returned his gaze to Burkhart. Speaking very quietly he said, "Look, if I were you I'd come up with some useful information. You know, who you talked to, who set stuff up?" 

Jim leaned in and whispered in his ear. "Who got you out of prison?" 

He stepped back to give Burkhart a moment to think. Jim also took that time to make sure he stepped out of Burkhart's line of sight, so he could see Spock glaring at him again. Jim decided to join him in the glaring department.

Schmidt looked even more frightened. Jim thought that if he hadn't already pissed himself he would be doing it now. 

Jim broke the moment by suddenly clapping his hands causing everyone but Spock to jump. "Here's something we can do that will be relatively painless for you guys. Spock could meld with you and look into your memories of the events connected with your getting out of prison and abducting me. Or, I can turn him loose on your asses for threatening to take me back to Tarsus. I'm not sure who was more angered by that proposition, me or him... So, what's your decision?" Jim gave them the nastiest grin in his arsenal.

Schmidt started to babble. "I... I don't.... know.... nothing."

"Right, you don't even know how to speak, do you. You're just a fucking idiot aren't you Schmidt. You simply follow along behind Burkhart here. A nice, obedient dog. Yeah, that's what you are Schmidt; you're Burkhart's prized dog." Jim said sadly.

He made an exaggerated sigh as he kicked Burkhart in each shin, hard. Jim hadn't tied them around the neck so they wouldn't choke, so for a moment Burkhart got to experience hanging by his wrists until he got his feet back under himself. 

Jim was almost whispering, staring in his eyes, when he said. "Now Burkhart, what about you? As long as you only think about this incident, that is all Spock will be able to see in a light scan of your mind. We need to know who you were in contact with at Command, who got you out of prison. You may not know names directly but voices, pictures, even things you don't realize you know." 

Jim could feel the fear coming off of Burkhart in waves. He had him where he wanted him. All he needed was a little push, which Jim was only too happy to provide.

He leaned in very close to Burkhart and whispered very calmly. "Or, I could have you my way with you. A little personal pay back? You've hurt me enough, I could think of a few, colorful ways to hurt you." Burkhart swallowed hard. "What will it be? Me or Spock?" 

Jim stepped back noticing the wet spot appearing on the front of Burkhart's pants with some satisfaction. He didn't know what he'd do if Burkhart chose him over Spock.

Burkhart finally spoke. "Okay, okay. The Vulcan can look into my head. You stay the fuck away from me!" He added to Jim.

Spock stepped forward and lifted his hand, as he placed it on Burkhart's meld points he said. "Vesht dungi ma tu nahp nash-veh" (1).  
OoO

He awoke a bit confused as to where he was. Then he realized he didn't really know who he was. There were beeping sounds so he must be in some kind of medical facility, but where?

Opening his eyes, he saw the grey walls of a medical room. Following the natural light around the room he found the window and saw it had bars on it, so he was also in a cell. What was going on?

The beeping increased with his heartbeat which must have alerted the nurses that he was awake. A common looking red headed human female came in with a security officer at her elbow.

"So, you're awake!" She greeted him cheerily. 

"Yeah, but what am I doing here? Who am I?" He asked, scared.

She looked at the security officer who was shaking his head.

"I'm sorry sir, I can't discuss anything like that with you. I can give you water, food and make sure you're comfortable." She smiled apologetically, shaking her red pony tail. 

"I'm Nurse de'Mond. I'll be here most of the time during the day. You just push that button there and I'll come. Now, are you hungry?" She was very compassionate.

"Yes, I am. And where is the bathroom?" He asked.

"Oh dear. I'm sorry, it's right over there." She pointed to a door in the corner. "It's not locked because there's no door on the other side. There's also a small water shower inside."

"Let me help you." She offered.

"No. I want to see if I can walk by myself." He got up and found himself steady standing, so he tried walking and found he could walk alright.

Nurse de'Mond and the security officer followed him to the bathroom to make sure he was steady on his feet. 

She pointed to a cabinet in the corner of the room. "In there you will find everything you need, towels, new pajamas and toiletries. If you have a problem there's a call button in the shower stall and another between the toilet and sink. We'll be right out here."

He shut the door, walked to the shower cubicle and turned on the water. Waiting for it to get hot he noticed there was already soap and shampoo taps in the shower so he grabbed the other necessities and noticed the water was warm enough and stepped in.

At first the water felt wonderful sluicing over his skin. Then things started to be triggered in his mind and he started to have flashbacks of memories; memories that were of things that felt unnatural to him, yet were memories of things that he had done.

'Oh my God, what kind of monster am I?' He asked himself.

Squirting some shampoo in his hair, he remembered making arrangements to get to convicted child torturers/rapists/mass murders out of jail to take one of the survivors of that very mass murder back to the location of the massacre. What a horrendous thing to do to someone. 

Why would he do something like that? He searched his mind for a motive and found none.

As he rinsed his hair he found himself starting to shake. He didn't think he could finish the shower and make it back to bed in time before he collapsed. This revelation was too much for him to process. 

He shut off the water and tried to step out of the shower but found his legs didn't want to work right. He couldn't even grasp the towel to cover himself before he felt himself falling to the floor.  
OoO

Lt. Commander Ronald Fontnoy stood to the side and watched one of the most brilliant games of 'good cop/bad cop' he had ever seen play out right in front of him live, unrehearsed. Most security forces or police that he knew at least spoke about what they were going to do before hand. These two just dove right in!

Fontnoy had to admit that at that exact moment in time, he thought Spock was capable of scaring a Klingon. He had been incredibly intense for the trip, like a cocked crossbow. 

Kirk getting Burkhart to agree to a mind meld was absolutely brilliant. There could be no lies that way and any evidence collected would be admissible in court.

Spock broke the meld and looked at Jim, then Fontnoy. "There was nothing definitive. His orders were all by voice but it was through a distortion device. There was one name, a Charles. However, that name was only he heard in the background during his last communication."

"I have completed my examination of the prisoners at this time Lt. Commander. I remand them to your custody." Spock nodded to Fontnoy, his face showed a stoic Vulcan.

"Certainly Commander. I'll take over from here. I'm sure you two would like some alone time." He said with a smile.

Spock nodded and they left walking toward the security ship where there were some private quarters waiting them.

By now Jim was practically acting like the teenaged girl he felt like; he wanted to skip down the corridor hand in hand with Spock. He laughed in his mind at the absurdity of the image of Spock skipping, period. 

Spock could feel his giddiness and gave him a look along with brow raised in mock disapproval. 

When they entered the assigned quarters Spock set the locks then pulled Jim to him in a desperate hug that he had been wanting to do since he arrived. Jim returned it with equal desperation.

Their lips met like opposite magnets that couldn't stay apart any longer. Their bodies lined up perfectly and they could feel each others eager cocks pressing on each other through their pants. 

Jim licked Spock's lips and he opened his mouth, their tongues dueled as they explored the insides of each others mouthes. They rubbed together to increase the exquisite pressure on their cocks.  
Jim broke the kiss for air and threw his head back moaning. Spock took quick advantage of this to lick his carotid artery in his neck from collar bone to ear so he could feel his pulse quickening.

Spock grabbed the bottom of Jim's shirt and divested him of it in one quick movement. Then doing the same for himself. 

While he was doing that Jim rid himself of his pants quickly than dropped to his knees in front of Spock. He started to mouth the outline of Spock's penis through is pants, looking up at his lover. He could feel it get harder as he mouthed along its length to the tip where he grazed with his teeth causing Spock to groan.

Continuing to rub his face and head on Spock's cock he began to undo the fastenings on his pants. As soon as he could get them off he pushed them to the floor. 

Licking his lips, Jim put his finger in the waistband of Spock's black briefs, looked up into his eyes and said in his sexiest voice. "I wonder what's in here?"

He pulled back on the waistband and that's all that was needed for Spock's very erect cock to pop out. 

"Now that's what I'm talking about." Jim said as he pushed down Spock's briefs making sure he's stepped out of them. "Nice hot, hard emerald column to suck."

Spock growled. It was a growl of pure Vulcan animal lust and it drove Jim wild. 

Jim licked the tip and kissed it; he used his lips and his tongue in every way he could think of to elicit sounds of pleasure from Spock. Finally he sucked that cock in all the way to the root and held himself there until he needed to breath. Spock growling the entire time.

The thing Jim liked best about Spock growling when he was giving him head was that he could feel the vibrations in his mouth and throat. He couldn't even begin to describe what that did to him, except to say that it brought his own animal passions to the forefront. He loved every sensation and taste; especially he loved every sound he drew from his oh so controlled lover.

Spock had to stop him. He wanted to finish inside Jim. Every Vulcan instinct he had strove for a completion inside of Jim in all ways in which he was capable.

Jim looked up at Spock, licking his luscious, rosy lips and found himself pulled to his feet. As he stood Spock pulled him to the bed and laid him on his back, next to a black felt bag.

"Ahh, yes, Spock, please fuck me." Jim begged putting his feet on Spock's shoulders. 

"Yes, James, that is the idea behind these proceedings." Spock growled as he reached into the black bag producing a bottle of lubricant. 

Spock poured lube on his hands and rubbed them together, coating his fingers heavily. Inserting his first finger was almost enough to undo him. He had to hold his other hand hard on the base of his cock to keep from orgasming. 

Fingering that tight, hot channel was delightful to his sensitive fingers. Especially when combined with the aural stimulation of Jim's moans. It put him into what Jim called his "animal zone" where he would claim Jim. In turn this drove Jim crazy.

"Meld with me when you claim me Spock. I'm already yours. Take me. Please." Jim easily reached up, pinching Spock's nipples .

Spock leaned down, placed his hand on Jim's face in his meld points. "Taluhk nash-veh k'dular." (2) He whispered in Jim's ear as he guided his cock into him.

Sensations doubled for them as they each experienced what was felt by the other. Their minds flowed together in a fine mesh. Vulcan nature took over and wove that mesh into a very flexible metal like substance that wove around their existing bond. Thereby completing Spock.

At the moment, however, Jim and Spock were too invested in the physicality of the experience and the sensations that they didn't even notice. Spock rocked into Jim faster and knew he was close. He knew every sensation that Jim was experiencing.

Spock leaned in and bit Jim where his neck meets his shoulder, hard enough to bruise immediately, even draw a little blood. 

"Oh... My... Fucking... God... SPOCK!" Jim yelled as he came, as Spock was licking the bruise forming on his neck.

Jim's orgasm triggered Spock's and he buried himself, biting down again. The world turned white for them both.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> (1) Vesht dungi ma tu nahp nash-veh - Vulcan - I will have your thoughts  
> (2) Taluhk nash-veh k'dular - Vulcan - I cherish thee
> 
> A/N - Thanks again for reading! If you can find a word or two to say about the chapter, please leave a review. :)


	13. Back at the Academy

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Standard disclaimer - I'm just a poor Piney (Hick from Southern New Jersey USA).

Chapter 13 - Back at the Academy  
OoO  
Jim slowly returned to the world of full consciousness. His brain felt extra fuzzy.

/'Wow, I think my mind has totally been blown.'/ Jim thought.

Spock chuckled softly in his mind. /'I believe that to be the case for both of us.'/

Jim jumped when he heard Spock in his mind and they were not in a meld.

"Um, Spock, why could I hear you in my head when we weren't melded? Not that it's necessarily a bad thing, I just want to know." Jim inquired.

He could feel Spock's emotions more acutely than previously as well. No, that wasn't it. The reason he thought he could feel Spock's emotions more acutely was that he could hear/feel the thoughts associated with them as well.

"I believe due to the intensity of our lovemaking my Vulcan instincts reached out to complete our bond." Spock's lips were curled in a small smile that Jim realized was reserved for select few special people in his life.

/'So now I can talk to you in like this?'/ Jim asked.

/'Indeed.'/ Spock replied.

Looking Spock in the eyes, Jim did his best to copy Spock's eyebrow raise. He dropped his voice and said, "Fascinating." As he did he dissolved into laughter.

/'Oh my Gods Spock, I love you so much. You should have see your face! Your eyebrow has almost crawled up into your hairline. Oops, there goes the other one.'/ Jim said.

There were tears coming out of the corners of his eyes because he was laughing so hard.

When Jim mentioned to Spock that he had an eyebrow up he felt the other one automatically going up before he could stop it.

"It is a good thing I paid attention to my mothers 'human lessons' so that I know that you are not mocking me." Spock said amusement sparkling in his eyes.

Jim looked intensely into Spock's eyes, his own glowing blue with his love. He reached up and put a hand on Spock's cheek. "Well, I also hope you know that I love you too much to mock you." He said very softly, gently shaking his head.

/'I only imitate the things or tease you about the things I love the most about you; stuff that's uniquely you.'/ Jim finished through the bond because there could be no misunderstanding that way.

"Du ashau nash-veh." (1) Spock said as he leaned into Jim and claimed his lips.

When they broke the kiss Jim replied. "Du ashau-tor nash-veh." (2)

"We have two hours until we reach Earth orbit. I propose you sleep and I will wake you in time." Spock suggested, his fingers ghosting over Jim's face and neck sending thoughts of peace, protection and security.

"Mmm, that sounds like a wonderful idea." Jim whispered already succumbing to the sleep his body and mind needed.  
OoO  
T'Pring, Spock's intended, felt their bond break. It had not been painful. However, it was a curious sensation. She was particularly disturbed to realize that the experience elicited an emotional response... surprise. That would need to be processed later during meditation.

There were only two reasons she could think of for the bond to be broken like that. The most probable would be that Spock had died. In T'Pring's mind that was the most likely, because the other possibility was ludicrous; that he had found another mate.

Even though Spock he was vrekasht (outcast) and she did not want children with his flalik (polluted, impure) blood, she did not want him dead either. It was unlikely that a Vulcan female would want his children but maybe some other compatible being female or male.

A male would be the ideal. And there would be no flalik children.

Now she will not have to wait until Spock's time to take Stonn as her mate. There will be no need for ancient ceremonies where males kill for the right to take the female as the prize. No one would have to die that way, this time.

Whatever the reason the bond broke, T'Pring would find out soon enough. She would be attending the Starfleet Ball in May with her family this year. Sarek and Amanda were always in attendance.  
OoO  
The entire ordeal had lasted less than six hours, but to Jim Kirk it felt like six days. He was exhausted. Visions of soft, beds heated by the Vulcan heating machine sleeping next to him had been dancing in his head for a while when Spock's eyes opened. His mouth became disembodied as he said. "T'hy'la, wake up!"

At the same time Jim heard the echo inside his mind.

/'T'hy'la, wake up!'/

When Spock's eyes opened like they did, Jim thought it was strange, but when his mouth disembodied, he knew it was wrong.

Jim sat up and grabbed Spock by the arms, who was sitting next to him on the bed one hand on his shoulder. "Wow, that was one weird ass dream."

Spock cocked his head and raised an eyebrow before replying. "There was a peculiar Equus africanus in your dream?" He couldn't help the amusement that crossed the bond with the question.

Jim's eyes sparked with inner fire and began to glow with love. Different emotions sparked different colors and the color of love was blue. From the first time he saw how that inner blue glow enlivened Jim's being Spock wanted to cause it again. He supposed it was similar to Jim's desire to cause an emotional reaction in him.

"Why Mr. Spock, if I didn't know better, I would think you just cracked a joke." Jim said with a laugh. "But seriously, it was a strange dream. We were laying on the bed together. That was fine. But then your eyes popped open and your mouth came off your face and told me to wake up.

"Your mouth coming off your face that freaked me right the fuck out! It's highly likely that we will see some strange stuff out there in the black, but I don't think having your beloved's face come apart on you is one of them, well unless we were under the influence of something." Jim had become serious and reached out touching Spock's face.

Spock allowed Jim to explore his face for several seconds to assure himself that his face was going to stay where it belonged. He allowed himself a last moment of distraction before they had to get ready for the ordeal ahead. Soon they would be docked at Starbase 1 and the debriefings would began shortly thereafter.

Spock sat up straight and Jim could tell it was time to get down to the business of why he was awakened.

"It is time to get ready. We will be docking at Starbase 1 in 27.49 minutes."

"Alrighty!" Jim replied, all signs of sleep and strange dreams banished. "I'll be ready in five."

With that he quickly disappeared into the adjoining bathroom.  
OoO  
Jim couldn't believe it. Four fucking hours he had been locked in this debriefing answering a million questions from the Admiralty about what happened. Not a million different questions, the same ones over and over and over! And not all the admirals either, one admiral in particular; Admiral Komack.

Komack was millimeters from being blatantly accusatory with way he was asking his questions. Was the man psychotic to think that he would be complicit in his own abduction? He had absolutely no motive.

However, at the moment it was worth it to be sitting here listening to Admiral T'Pol, who had been arguing on his behalf for the past half hour. Jim thought she still looked striking even though she was over century and a quarter mark.

She stood straight and addressed the assembly, but everyone knew that her words were meant specifically for Komack whom she looked in the eye as she spoke. "How do you think a first year cadet could go about getting two men out of a high security prison? Why would he want to have anything to do with those particular men after their history? Finally, why would that cadet desire to be return to Tarsus IV of all the available places in the galaxy?"

Her voice was typical Vulcan quiet and level, but Jim could detect the sincere emotion behind her words. Jim surveyed the emotional temperature in the rest of the room. Komack was angry; T'Pol was cool; everyone else was irritated. Whether they were irritated at his testimony or Komack being pigheaded, he didn't know.

Admiral Komack kept her eye then raised an eyebrow in a truly mocking gesture. His gaze sharpened as he replied quietly with a smirk. "Well Admiral, that's what I'm trying to determine."

Jim had become very adept at reading Vulcan and he could tell that T'Pol was frustrated and slightly pissed with trying to talk sense into Komack. She had been trying to talk sense into him for a while before her questions and it was like he hadn't heard a word she said. He had the feeling if she had been human she would have been hitting her head against something, if only it was her own palm. Maybe she would simply be sighing, like Archer and Barnett were. Nogura just sat there watching the whole thing like a damn statue.

T'Pol looked around the room and met the eyes of everyone there, including Jim. "Do you not think that the young man has been through enough for one day?"

Archer looked at Jim then raised his voice for the first time. "I for one have heard enough of this dog crap." He pointed at Komack. "Look, Jim, I don't know what you've got goin' on in that mind of yours but I can tell you that this boy was not involved in his own abduction God damn-it!

"Now open your eyes and look at the kid for Christ sake. He looks dead on his feet. Do you realize it's 0200 and I'm no spring chicken? I'll bet the kid hasn't even seen his doctor yet." By the time Archer ended his little diatribe he was on his feet leaning toward Komack.

Jim was in awe as he realized he had just witnessed the reason why Archer was so highly esteemed, still, at something like 140 years old.

It really irked Komack that Archer could call him Jim, but he had to call him 'Admiral'. The only one on a first name basis with him was that damned Vulcan T'Pol. He supposed it had to do with all the years they served together. The service could form quite a bond between people. Well, he didn't get to be an admiral by not knowing which battles to pick and which ones to pass on and this was definitely one of the latter, as was the immediate issue with the Kirk boy.

"Well then, since you are certain, we will defer to your judgment in the matter than Admiral." Komack said dipping his head to the older man.

Barnett announced that they would meet with Spock the following day at 1200.

Christopher Pike, Leonard McCoy and Spock were on hand to greet Jim as he walked out of the room. McCoy had finally convinced Nyota to head off for some sleep around midnight.

He knew Spock was waiting for him but that was it. Because of everything going on Spock had kept his end of the bond quiet and simply offered Jim any support he could.

So, Jim was completely taken by surprise when he was set upon by one very concerned doctor, tricorder in hand. "God damn-it Jim! Leave it to you to get yourself abducted from Starfleet Academy grounds before the end of your first semester."

"Well, hello yourself Bones." Jim greeted his friend, looking around to see who else was there.

He spied Chris and waved allowing Bones to continue his scans. "Captain Pike what are you still doing here in the wee hours of the morning?"

"Making sure my best student is in one piece. And, because your mother would personally flay me if I wasn't here." Pike snorted a laugh as he pulled Jim into an embrace.

"There are things we need to discuss in private; you, Spock and I."He added very quietly, close to Jim's ear. Spock only heard because of his superior hearing.

McCoy had finished his readings. "Well, besides some bruising and a few cuts, you'll be okay. Right now my prescription is sleep. Come on, let's get back to the room."

"No Bones. I'm staying with Spock." Jim shook his head.

"Look Jim, I know you want to be with the hobgoblin but you've got to sleep and not be doing things I don't want to think about." McCoy replied.

"Bones, right now I want to sleep and the only way that is going to happen is with Spock. You don't understand at the moment, and I'll explain, but another time, 'k?" Jim's baby blues were, at that moment, begging his friend to understand.

"Yeah, Jim, alright. You just promise me to sleep." McCoy made sure that he not only looked into Jim's eyes when he said that but Spock's as well.

They answered in unison. "Yes doctor."

They all had a little laugh, only Spock's went unheard by McCoy and Pike, being inside his mind.

Pike broke the moment by saying, "I'm going to make sure that you all get back to where you belong safe and sound. As soon as I heard the meeting break up I sent the Valet to get my car. Let's go."

After Pike dropped off the doctor at his dormitory he headed away from the campus.

"Um, Chris, where the hell are we going?!" Jim asked.

"Somewhere we can talk without any chance of anyone from headquarters overhearing what I'm going to tell you." Pike replied.

Spock raised and eyebrow, looking at Jim.

/'I believe Captain Pike may have discovered something while I was retrieving you. And it does not seem to be good news.'/ Spock said through the bond.

/'I don't like this either ashaya.'/ Jim turned as much as he could in his seat belt so that he could face Spock with his body, not just his head, eyes alight from within.

/'Hey, when we were on that ship and you confronted Burkhart and Schmidt you said I was your k'hat'n'dlawa. That's really romantic k'diwa.'/ Jim reached out two fingers in the ozh'esta which Spock returned.

Chris Pike drove them over the Golden Gate Bridge into Oakland and took them to a very old, but well kept, row house. He took them inside and turned on the lights and the heat.

"This is a house that a couple of us captains purchased in order to talk about things that we wanted to keep totally confidential. Nobody knows about it except for the select few. You are never to mention this place to anyone. Am I clear!?" Pike explained to the two men.

They both snapped to attention and saluted as they said, "Yes sir!" All was done in perfect unison.

Pike raised his eyebrow and shook his head as he watched them.

"I don't know what's going on with all this but something is mighty fishy. So why don't we all help ourselves to beverages and take a seat so we can make some plans before we go back." Pike spoke as he walked toward the kitchen and showed them the cooler.

He made himself a scotch on the rocks, Jim gladly joined him in that, also grabbing some water. Spock got a bottle of cold water for himself while Pike went to a cupboard and brought out a bag of snacks and waved a premium, organic dark chocolate bar at him.

"Spock, would you like to have some choco...?" He never got to finish his question as Spock reached out snatching the bar.

"Thank you sir." He said as he began to unwrap the treat.

Jim looked at him. /'Decided to catch a buzz I see.'/ He said.

/'Indeed.'/ Was Spock's reply.

Jim started to laugh.

Pike took the scotch bottle and headed into the living room, the younger men following.

"First things first, what happened on that rescue ship between you two; if I'm not mistaken you've bonded from his side now." Pike pointed to Spock.

Jim smiled at Spock who answered. "That would be the correct deduction." He paused and Jim finished. "The intensity of our, um, reunion, kind of sealed the deal."

Spock gave him an eyebrow for use of that particular idiom and got a shrug and a smile in return.

"Okay, I get the picture. That's all I need to know on that subject, thank you." Pike said with a laugh. "Well, with the kind of bond the two of you have it will be difficult to pull that kind of stunt again. I want you to stay aware of each other all the time now.

"I believe what just happened with Jim is an example of something that has been festering in the heart of the Starfleet and the Federation for a long time now. You two are in the thick of it. Don't ask me how I know, but I just know. That's why we're here tonight."

Pike then started a story that took the next several hours. By the time they reached Spock's apartment the sun was just starting to illuminate the sky enough to dim out most of the remaining stars visible through the San Francisco city lights. They had quite a bit to think about.  
OoO

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> (1) Du ashau nash-veh - Vulcan - I love you (translated as it is written - you love I)  
> (2) Du ashau-tor nash-veh - Vulcan - I love you too. (translated as it is written - you love-too I)
> 
> A/N: All Vulcan throughout the story has been & will be taken from http://www.starbase-10.de/vld/ for consistency.

**Author's Note:**

> Please review!


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